In the end, it didn't matter.

In the end, it didn't matter.
Well, at least not to those around me.
To me, I think it will be something I look at and . . .
It does matter . . . It really does.
I look in the mirror and see the truth every time.
Nothing can take it away now, its forever a part of me.
Its there for the rest of my life.
Oh god, will it follow me into death?
Will it be with me throughout eternity?
Will each of my lives end in the same way?
Will I look in the mirror at the end of my life and see what I see at this moment?
Yes, I think I will.
Everyone around can see the truth in a single glance.
A knock on the door.
My heart pounds.
No good just locking myself away, I open the door.
I look into his eyes and don't see what I see in the mirror
I see what he saw.
I woman who has never had any reason to end her life.
So, I suppose if they don't see it, I can pretend for now.
I lay down that night for the final time and realise
In the end, it didn't matter.