Suffocating the super mom syndrome

Ask any new or soon to be stay-at home mom what she hopes to accomplish when she is with her kids at home full or part time and I am sure you will hear a few of the following statements:

I am going to spend so much quality time with each of my children
I am going to be able to spend more time with my husband
I am going to be able to take better care of myself.
I will make all the best decisions for my family.
I will never have to miss a school activity again.
I can become PTA president and volunteer in all of my children’s classrooms
I will finally be able to stay on top of the laundry and dishes!
Ahhh… how easy it is to develop the super mom syndrome whether you stay at home or work out side of the home.

Super Mom: Faster than a sugar-amped toddler, more powerful than any tantrum, able to read thoughts of sneaky children

I have only been a stay-at-home mom for four years and I have yet to even come close to earn the title of Super Mom. My desire is there at times, unfortunately the energy, sleep and hours in a week are not. The dream of sparkling floors, homemade bread in the oven, and clean, well dressed and well behaved children with smiles all around ….

Wait a second..

Where did that dream come from?

I do not know a single super mom (I know a lot of amazing women and great mothers) but THE SUPER MOM, the one that gets everything done every day without fail? I do not know a single one.

So where do we get this need to be a super mom?

Betty Crocker, June Cleaver, Martha Stewart, Mother Theresa and Mr. Clean.

Before we begin to loathe in self-pity because we are not any one of these, let’s take a reality check!

Betty Crocker is a book/ company that have been created by thousands for many years. June Cleaver is a character on a show that was an actress with a script and a set. Martha Stewart... to start... is a single woman who does not have children… “I am just saying” … I will stop there. Mother Theresa was a saint who devoted her entire life to God. Mr. Clean is a fictional man on a household cleaning product.

So who says it is not okay if you have smudges on your floor, dust bunnies under the bed, your bread is store bought, you are not at every activity at your child’s school, your children are wearing mismatched clothing and their hair is a mess?
What is really going to happen to you and your family?

I am sure, nothing will happen. So let’s take a moment to complete an activity together:

Close your eyes, imagine super mom, pick up a pillow and suffocate her once and for all

Whew! That felt great, didn’t? Or am I the only one?

There is nothing wrong with wanting excellence but needing perfection is deadly. Personally living with SMS (Super Mom Syndrome) I created an all or nothing lifestyle. The world was black or white. A task was either complete or incomplete. There was no room for half-way, almost or grey. So slowly I began to do nothing because everything was too much!

How do you live in the grey?

1st remember why you are here in the first place, by completing the following sentence:

I am a stay at home wife and mom because I want ______________________________________

I am sure your answer was not to have a perfectly clean home. Let’s face it; cleaning your home with kids is like brushing your teeth while eating Oreos.

Living in the grey is leaving the smudges on the floor and the dust bunnies under the bed so you can play hide and go seek with your kids, having store bought bread allows you to make time to cook dinner with your family, not being at every school activity allows you to get some much needed time to yourself, mismatched clothes may be allowing them to use their creativity and messy hair always happens when you are snuggling on the couch.

Leaving SMS behind can be inspiring and enabling. We can be wife and mom without the drama and stress.