Part 2: Laundry Hamsters
Written by Sean D. Rasmussen
Compiled by Billy W. Mitchell |
Laundry Hamsters The Laundry Hamster In the place where dirty clothes are thrown there the laundry hamster makes its home A fuzzy creature that nests in lint in the dirty clothes its quite content It lies asleep on a pile of old shirts under the jeans that are caked with dirt Hiding in a pair of holey gloves snacking on left socks, the treat it loves But late at night when all are asleep the laundry hamster raises its head and squeaks It then scurries around on the floor from the laundry pile and out the door It sneaks around when all is still leaving socks on the window sill hanging old shirts on the door and putting the underwear on the floor It moves the lint pile in the sink and leaves spare change in pockets, I think. It hides the ink pens with the nice white shirts and will eat one colored left sock for dessert It will tie the blankets into square knots and dance on the drapes, leaving spots But when the sun comes through the window pane it goes back to its pile again It then goes back to the dirt covered jeans to leave the people to do people things and with a left sock for a last minute taste It giggles at the thought of the looks on Mom's face She shakes her head as she looks around at all the laundry she has found As she goes to the blankets and unties the knots She wonders what happened to all her left socks Laundry Hamster at the Hotel A laundry hamster was tired of staying at home, It wanted to see new things and roam. It hid in a suitcase of green. After a waiting for the sun to go down, it got out and scurried around. It was in the biggest place it had ever seen. It was in a big hotel, and the hamster could just tell, that there was lots for it to do. It snuck out in the hall, and put paw prints on the wall. It tied the curtain cords into knots too. Down the hall it had some fun, making the ice machine run. It poured ice all on the floor. It unscrewed most of the lights, so the hall was not so bright. and hid all the signs on the doors. It peeked in on sleeping folk, and hid the batteries from each remote. It changed everyone’s wake up calls. It danced throughout the floors, changing the numbers on the doors. It even put soap in the waterfalls. It rolled a garbage can down the stair, as it ran about without a care, causing havoc in its wake. It then went to make a snack, after a computer it did hack, in the kitchen on the bottom floor. A sock sandwich did it make, after hiding the T-bone steak, and changing prices a dollar or more. Back upstairs did it creep, ready for a long sleep. It did one more thing with laundry hamster charm. Before it went to bed, with a stolen towel under its head. It set off the fire alarm. Laundry Hamster Chores At night when you lay sleeping, the laundry hamster comes sneaking out of the pile of clothes that is its home It raises its little head from its laundry bed to see what mischief can be done It scurries on little feet, looking for left socks for it to eat and new things for it to do It hides all the change, the silverware gets rearranged and it hides your favorite books too It wrinkled all the clothes, as it twitches it little nose and begins to tie shoelaces into knots Much work is to be done before the rising of the sun, so it puts grounds in the coffee pot It checks the time and then hides all the ink pens, safe within the sofa or a chair It peeks inside the rooms and pulls bristles out of brooms, then puts the tangles in your hair It smiles on a job well done because the rising of the sun puts an end to its nightly chore It goes back to its laundry bed, it rests its tiny head and begins to softly snore When the sun does peek and all rise from their sleep it softly snoozes in its laundry bed Believing that it is good and doing as it should as laundry hamster dreams fill its head Laundry Hamster Cooking It was late at night, a few hours before twilight, and the laundry hamster was feeling sort of funny. It was tired of left socks for treats, and wanted more to eat , to fill its grumbling tummy. So to the kitchen it went, after a little time was spent, looking for its hamster recipe book, It pulled out pans and pots. It brought out scarfs and socks, and a chair to stand in while it cooked. It made sweat sock stew, after burning a pan or two, and added some mayonnaise just for taste. It then made some muffins, out of turkey stuffing. and added a jar of saffron, cinnamon and mace. It made some macaroni, with handkerchiefs and bologna, and water from an old used mop. When it was done, preparing a feast for one. to the dining room table it did hop. It feasted in pure delight, lit by candlelight, until it couldn't eat any more. Leftovers it packed away, to save for another day, hidden in the refrigerator door. It got hopped up on the shelf, got peanut butter on itself, on the counter and some on the bread. With its late day sandwich in hand, (peanut butter and rubber band) the little laundry hamster went off to bed. Laundry Hamster Dreams Within the pile of laundry where it makes its soft bed The laundry hamster lies sleeping , dreams filling its little head It dreams of hiding change for excited folks to find, and tying sailors knots in the cord by the blind It dreams of doing cartwheels upon the kitchen floor and dancing with the dolls and teddy bears galore It dreams of sipping hot chocolate with dust bunnies under the table and reciting stories, sonnets, and fables Dreams of chess with dragons fill it's little head While it softly sleeps in its laundry bed Softly sleeping the day away, so peaceful does it seem With a smile on its furry face content within its dreams Laundry Hamster on the Internet The laundry hamster found a new toy, one that is fun and that it enjoys. Trouble is brewing, and that you can bet, for the laundry hamster is on the internet. It was looking around through your notes, and found the place your passwords were wrote. It got on the computer and began to play, on the internet while you were away. It typed in your password with a grin on its face, as it explored the computer and internet place. It gossiped about you while it was in chat, with a cockroach and a field rat. It changed the time on the computer clock, fixed the programs so that they would lock. It had some fun ordering spam, Found a virus that ate up the RAM. It hid the floppy disks in with its loot, and caused the computer to endlessly reboot. It changed all the colors to orange and lime green, and set up the home pages to the pop-up screens. It had so much fun playing hamster games, it found the programs and gave them new names. Just before it went back to sleep, it found the window files and hit delete. So if you are on the computer and get an error, you might have a furry cyber-terror. Resting after mischief in a peaceful doze, in the laundry under dirty clothes. Laundry Hamster Party The house is all clean and everyone has gone away The laundry hamster opens its eyes and decides it is time to play It peeks from its little nest of sweatpants and holey shirts and runs to the hole in the wall to where the spider lurks It hatches up such a plan to decorate the place and with some glue and spider thread it is soon to their taste The clothes soon have hamster footprints and have wrinkles in them all and many ivory spider webs decorate the hall They begin to plan a party in the empty house and first on the guest list is a sleepy mouse Then the turtle and the roaches that also live there they even invited the dark brown bat to come down from its lair The party games were all played and the roaches had a band while upside down was the bat a watching from the ceiling fan The fridge was full of goodies for everyone to eat and Moms chocolate ice cream was the favorite treat They made a pool out of the bathtub and all went for a swim The mouse turned on the ceiling fan and took the bat for a spin The cockroach band played a song called "let’s make a mess" and the turtle had a slow dance with the hamster upon Mom’s wedding dress As the night traveled on they had lots of fun having the party in the empty house until they saw the sun Everyone said goodbye late into the day and the laundry hamster and the spider waved as they went away They had so much fun that they said "It must be done again" and the spider and laundry hamster laughed because they do not clean Laundry Hamster Strikes Again The laundry hamster comes a creeping, from where it likes to hide. While everyone is sleeping, it opens the laundry door wide. It creeps across the kitchen floor, and climbs upon the sink. It leaves the water running, as it gets a drink. It spills milk upon the table, and dirties up some plates. Leaving them on the couch, with half the food left unate. It scurries down the hall, and down the cellar stairs. It hides all the tools, it found in a box there. It dances up the stairway, and back up the hall. leaving dusty footprints, and paw prints on the wall. It climbs behind the counter, and disconnects the lamps. It misplaces the car keys, and then licks all the stamps. It hops on the sofas, and puts change in the chairs. It opens up the medicine cabinet, and in toothpaste leaves hairs. As the sun slowly rises, bathing all in its early rays. The laundry hamster goes back into its laundry pile, to sleep away the day. If you should wake to disarray, of a house that was so clean. If you wonder what has happened. The laundry hamster has struck again. Laundry Hamster Yardwork It was late at night, about a quarter to one. The laundry hamster was bored, all its chores were done. It had finished hiding car keys, and muddying up the hall. It had even put paw prints, on the ceiling and the wall. It had set the computer, to receive nothing but spam. and had made a sandwich, of left sock and ham. So it got an idea in its fuzzy head, to cause mischief outside, in the yard and in the shed. It left the back door open as it ran into the yard, (not before hiding the only credit card). There was much to do there in the yard, and ideas came into its head. It started with the job at hand, and planted weeds in the flower bed. It put paw prints on the new washed car, and hid the hoe and rake. In the place where the spare key was, it put a rubber snake. It hopped up to the power tools, and hid all the sockets and nails. It tied the garden hose into knots, and added rust to the pails. It scampered to the front, and put a spider web by the door. It dumped over a paint bucket by the porch, and left hamster tracks on the floor. It finished its work with a happy smile, and went back into its place. Happy with the mess it caused, It fell asleep with a smile on its face. |