Bulgarian Spirit

Bulgarian Spirit? A forgotten dream or a dream which we can’t remember? A flower or a forest? A mountain or a river? Years ago when I was asked “Are you proud to be Bulgarian?” I said “yes” but I didn’t know why. Now, I’d respond “yes, I’m proud to be Bulgarian” but again I don’t know why.
Sometimes, I think I find it our traditional dances; sometimes I see it as a magical ball which is lit somewhere in the distance as a mirage. Other times, I think I see it in the Rhodopian song “Izlel e Delyu Hajdutin” by Valya Balkanska and again I don’t have the answer for myself. “Why am I proud?” I wrote in facebook on my wall: “To all Bulgarians wherever you are: What is the Bulgarian Spirit? Describe it!” Many people commented. A friend from Sofia wrote: “There is no Bulgarian Spirit anymore. We lost it.” Another girl said: “It exists. It’s a dance. It’s a belly dance.” Belly dance, belly dance- I miss this comment without a word. I read the next one: “There is Bulgarian Spirit. It’s in the delicious Banitza which your mom cooks.”- I can accept this comment. A good Russian friend understanding a little of Bulgarian said, “This is you. You’re Bulgarian.. Find the answer in yourself, in your country” and this didn’t help me much.
From the survey, I understood that for some the Bulgarian Spirit is a privilege you’re born with, for others is a curse to be Bulgarian. Thirds find it in “Istorya Slavyanobulgarska” (History Slavobulgarian), others in Botev’s poems or in the actions of Benkovski and Rakovski. Most of the Bulgarians living out of border would do anything to return home while the people in Bulgaria would do the impossible to leave the country.
“It’s night time; the moon is up shinning,
The stars are in the sky...” and I stay awake thinking about the Bulgarian Spirit and have no answer. This is a mystery- it is there, it is not there. Somehow I feel it around me but I can’t describe it; it’s an energy which you can’t frame. It’s the Martenitza which every Bulgarian wears on their hand wherever in the world they are. The Bulgarian Spirit is our belief in the good; it’s the song by Valya Balkanska which flies in the space; the Bulgarian Spirit are in Levski’s words, of Vasil Ivanov Kunchev, the same man who the church doesn’t want to proclaim him a saint; “We are also people and we want to live humane, be free and have full freedom in the land. The Turkish aristocracy must give place to agreement, brotherhood and the full equality of all peoples- Bulgarians, Turkish, Jews and others would be equal in everything- all of us will obey under the common law.” These are words, nice words, but thought and said almost a century before Martin Luther King’s speech.

The Bulgarian Spirit is our hard work; it is our belief in a better lifestyle; it’s the lost wisdom which each of us discovers in their souls.