Footprints in the snow

         Scott wrapped his blue knitted scarf around my neck and tucked it into my coat.
         I brushed my fingers across the softness of the material and smiled to myself. I remembered knitting it for him the Christmas before last. It was amazing how good condition he had kept it. Maybe he was being truthful when he told me that the smaller things meant more.
         “You ready?” he asked.
         I stood up from the bed and nodded.
         Ready to finally step foot outside for the first time in months? Of course.
         He took hold of my cold hand and gently kissed me on the forehead. I smiled up at him but I knew he saw the heartache in my eyes. Every moment I spent with him broke my heart and I knew he was hurting just as much. It couldn’t be easy for him to watch the love of his life slowly dying in front of him. The worst part is that there was nothing anyone could do about it.
         Each day I was getting weaker, but not once did he cry or even show an inkling of sadness in front of me, although I saw the hurt in his eyes.
         Sometimes I would catch him staring into space. Almost as if I could see what was going through his mind. He was so afraid of losing me, but that was nothing compared to what I felt. My heart felt as though a thousand daggers were being twisted and turned. It was selfish of me to keep him by my side, but at the same time it was selfish of him not to leave. This was killing us both.
         You see I have Leukaemia and my time is almost up. After battling with the disease for two years, my body suddenly stopped responding to treatment. There was nothing left to do other than sit around and wait for the end.
         It didn't scare me in the slightest that my life would be over before it had even begun. My twenty-one years had been the most beautiful and happy moments I could ever have asked for. I had my family, my dreams, but most of all I had Scott.
         He had been by my side through it all. He was doing everything in his power to keep me going for as long as possible, but I felt my body giving up.
         We stepped out into the crisp, cold winter air. The cold hit me like a tonne of brick but it was so refreshing to feel it after spending so long in hospital. My body started to tremble but I still had a smile on my face.
         Scott’s eyes lingered on me carefully but I grinned at him for his assurance. He loosened up a little and smiled as we walked and talked.
         For the first time in a long time, I actually felt like a normal person. We spoke about the weather and what was on the television. Neither of us spoke of the leukaemia, I think we had both forgotten about it for the time being. It just felt nice to be treated as I used to be.
         Of course, I adored him for everything. He had been amazing these last few weeks, making all my dreams and wishes come true. This was the last wish on my list though. It was our only chance to actually be alone and my last wish was to take a stroll with him in the snow.
         We used to mess around as kids, playing in the snow. When things finally got serious between us, we would walk for hours in the winter months. I loved being in his company, as I'm sure he did me.
         I was always the cynical one out of the two of us; I used to believe that love was like footprints in the snow. The mark would remain for so long until it melted and that was that. Scott merely just laughed at me and would tease me about thinking so negatively about everything. He told me to make the most of life because you never know when it could end. Unfortunately, for me, it was a lot sooner than expected.
         I don't think he ever thought anything bad could happen to me. I was this perfect little angel that had turned his life around. I think he believed that he had to repay me for all the good I had brought into his life. That was why we were out in the snow.
         The nurses argued, saying that I wasn’t strong enough but I knew I could do it. Not only for me, but for Scott too. Now we were finally alone, without all the machine beeping and nurses taking my temperature, and to be honest, I couldn’t be happier.
         Scott stopped walking. He turned me a little to face a fenced off area beside us. The snow inside was untouched and looked absolutely beautiful. There was a silver plank on the ground that had my name ‘Amelia’ engraved on it.
         I glanced up at Scott in confusion.
         “Step inside,” he whispered.
         I did as he said and cautiously stepped through the wooden gate. Scott followed me into the small area.
         He pulled out a Kodak camera and clicked away at the footprints I had left. I frowned at him. What on earth was he doing?
         He showed me the picture on the screen. “Now your footprints will never fade,” he said.
         My face broke into a big smile as his arms wrapped around me. He always knew the right things to say but to do something like this meant so much. He always did say that one day he would prove me wrong and he has.
         He let go of me and took pictures as I walked through the white blanket on the ground. Never in my life had I enjoyed walking through the snow so much. I felt like I was on top of the world.
         Something inside made me stop walking and turn around to face Scott. I didn’t feel too good and my body was shaking. From the cold? But I didn't feel cold. I felt hot, way too hot. This was bad.
         His face dropped as he came rushing towards me.
         “Help!” He called over his shoulder.
         From the corner of my eye I saw a few nurses come rushing over. What was all the fuss about? That’s when I felt the impact of my body hitting the cold, hard ground.
         No, not now. I didn't want to go just yet. I was having so much fun.
         Scott fell down to his knee’s beside me with tears streaming down his face. This was never the way I wanted to go. I didn't want him to see me like this. I attempted to push him away from me but I was too weak, I could barely move my arms.
         With the last bit of energy I had left, I reached up and wiped his tears away.
         “Thank you,” I breathed.