Dark, Come Soon

“Let’s go, honey, I don’t want to be late,” she said as she threw her purse over her shoulder. She looked as beautiful as ever and I thanked god that I was lucky enough to have her standing before me.

I looked deep into her crystal blue eyes as she leaned over the table. With a soft touch she willed me away from the chair. I could feel the ring on her little white finger; it took me forever to find just the right one.

“Why do you always look at me like I’m suddenly going to vanish,” she said as she drew me in closer and ran her fingers through my hair. “I’m not going anywhere, honey.” She gave me a soft kiss on the check.

“You look beautiful, you always look so damn beautiful,” I told her as I wrapped my arms around her and gently rested my head between her neck and shoulder. Her long coffee-brown hair rubbed gently across my cheek. Sometimes when I lie down at night I can still pick up a trace of vanilla from the pillows. Those are the nights I sleep in bliss. “It’s good to see you again.”

As I squeezed her body close to mine I could feel every inch of her pressed against me. I wanted that feeling to last for eternity. In that moment everything felt right, as though nothing bad could ever happen to keep us from one another. Sometimes I let myself believe it, but who knows what morning will bring.

“What do you mean ‘it’s good to see you again’? I’ve been here the whole time. You’re so silly,” she said with one of those smiles of hers that makes me feel like the most important person in the world.

“Of course you have dear, I’m sorry, let’s go.”

***

I sat with a steak and baked potato in front of me. Her salad was adorned with diced chicken, red onions, cheddar cheese, carrots and celery, with the dressing on the side, just the way she likes it.

“Honey, you’ve barely eaten, is something on your mind?” she said as she waved her butter knife gracefully over the face of a piece of honey wheat bread. I loved the way she cut her lettuce with a fork and knife. I loved that she used her thumb to wipe away the dot of ranch dressing on the edge of her lip. I loved every tiny thing about her.

“I’m just enjoying our time together, that’s all.”

I couldn’t see the other tables. The chairs, the waiters, guests, walls, the ceiling, they were all a blur. The only thing I could see was her and I was fine with that. She smiled and said “I love you.” My heart melted as everything went dark.

***

We sat in the middle of a field, a white blanket spread out beneath us. We held each other, looking up at a midnight blue sky with dots of white scattered all around it. The moon shined brilliantly upon her lustrous hair, the light making its way to the end of each strand and sweetly disappearing into the night air. The field stretched on forever, there was nothing but us, the field, the moon and the stars.

“I just love looking up at the stars at night,” she said as she pointed up into the darkness. “Just looking up at this sky, I know there must be a heaven. Oh look! The stars over there form a heart,” she said as pointed off into the sky, her eyes growing wide with childlike amazement.

A slight breeze picked up and I reached out and guided her hair behind her ear.

“I don’t want this to end…ever,” I said out loud, a warm tear rolling down my face. I was half speaking to her and half speaking to the stars above our heads. She turned her head to mine, her eyes lit up brighter than any star in the sky.

“I don’t either. I never want to be without you.”

The sky was starting to get lighter and she was starting to fade away. I held her as tight as I could, closed my eyes and kissed her on the forehead. “I’ll always love you. We’ll always be together,” I said, as the tear fell onto our clasped hands.

***

My eyes felt warm and I opened them to find the sunlight shining over me and the white blanket covering my body. I sat up in bed and stared at the empty space beside me for a long time before getting up and putting on my clothes. I’ll miss the days when everything was beautiful, and nothing hurt. Making my way toward the hall I stopped in the doorway and looked back at that lonely space.

“I’ll see you tonight honey,” I said to the empty room as I shut the door behind me.