18+ some days I just like to write insane stories, because my sense of humor is quite bent |
-Abominable Chicken Man- by Keaton Foster Today I was at the zoo I instantly became unglued I was like man, WTF are you? In a crowd of only two A stranger of a being Far stranger than me Was standing way too close So close that I am sure That if him and I were naked Our pubes would be touching I know what you’re saying That is absolutely disgusting True, but really come on What do you expect From a poem named "Abominable Chicken Man!" I know that what is funny to me May be considered retarded by you But keep an open mind Let the weirdness inside You may chuckle some Just a little but Then again you may be humbled As a poet, this man named Keaton Wait did I just refer to myself as “myself?” Jesus, I have gone off the rails I can write just about anything Even things that do not make A God damn bit of sense Ok, so now where was I again? I turned to him, face to face Dude, hey you, thing Give me some space Back way the fuck up He did not reply At least not with words He just made a sound A series of them to be exact Cluck, cluck, cluck! Who replies like that? Are you on crack? Why you being so whack? Again he just made a sound A series of them to be exact Cluck, cluck, cluck! Angrier still I went on I know this is a zoo And you might be an animal That has escaped from its cage But that does not give you the right To be all up in my grill Step the fuck off Back that shit up And please stop clucking at me Because you see unwelcomed friend I have been known to eat a chicken or two And to prove it, look, see, right here I always carry a bottle of wing sauce Unphased by my threats Again he just made a sound A series of them to be exact Cluck, cluck, cluck! That’s it, I snapped I’m gonna kill your punk ass! Deep fry you in some grease And chow down and eat “Say hello to my little friend!” Quoting Scarface, seemed appropriate Because let’s face it Him and I were way past Me repeatedly saying “You talking to me?” I pulled out my knife, ready to slice Just then, from nowhere seen A zookeeper did indeed scream Sir, please step back That is an escaped Abominable chicken man And he can be quite dangerous Before I could reply Before I could step to the side Or hit the deck A net, fired from a hip cannon Landed on both him and I Instantly we fell to the ground Struggling to get free Closer still him and I began to seem An equally shitty predicament Will facilitate such relationships We both looked at each other And let out a loud series of replies Cluck, cluck, cluck, WTF!!! Abominable Chicken Man Written by Keaton Foster Copyright © 2012. |