Faith, like a mustard seed

I prayed daily,
coz life sailed awfully.
I prayed as hard as I could, for
there was no good in life,
I despaired, and it seemed
as if I was falling
Was God ignoring me?

I prayed so fervently,
Life seemed cheerless,
almost lifeless.
I struggled and strived
I groaned and moaned
to kin on the phone.
Why wasn’t God answering?

I prayed persistently,
I knew it as my only hope
Life still seemed distressing,
A tale of adversity.
I was full of self-pity
I needed strength to cope
for it was bad, this pity.

I prayed half-heartedly,
but I read His word faithfully.
Came across a verse and
thought surely “I have faith,
What’s so hard to have faith
the size of a mustard seed?”
Why then, do I not get
what I want and need?

God in His great mercy
and boundless grace to me,
opened the eyes
of my inner mind.
It struck me, the question was
not whether my faith was
the needed size, but
whether I had the faith at all?

I had actually marred each request
with doubt distrust and suspect
This insight shook me
It gripped me.
I felt empowered,
That He had showered
upon me, sweet favour.
Truly, God my Saviour,
Like you there’s no other