Rag Doll

         Humanity is cruel insightful, and cringes at anything that does not fit in. From the smallest of children to a grown adult abandoned and left to die. Cast away as if they were a rag doll of a dead child, sitting on the ground crusted with dirt corroded with age. It waited for its new master or its final moments. A rag doll with two arms eyes and legs the same as anyone but treated different. From the moment he picked that doll up from the ground, he knew that it had suffered a horrible fate. Its eyes spoke to him telling him that he would suffer the same.

         A church stood in the distance slanted slightly to the left. Yet from where he was at it looked as if it would fall over at any moment but it did not it stood strong. Shingles fell from the roof leaving empty spots on the roof, its paint faded away. For years, this building stood for unity but now it was nothing more than a place to shelter abandoned children. All was quiet but the sound of his footsteps thudding on the dead grass. He opened the giant double doors that stood before him coming open with a creak. Everyone turned to look at him with a glare on his or her face.

“You’re late for mass.” A girl whispered from the back row of seats. She smiled at him but held a look of worry in her eyes.

“Come on hurry and sit down”

         He sat down next to her and looked towards her. He felt the warmth of her body heat putting him at ease. “Sorry.” In a row before him sat leader of the children and the oldest Abel with a frown on his face

“Next time, don’t be late Kagari the fathers won’t be as forgiving the next time.” He turned his back to Kagari and continued to listen to the prayer.


“I was resting by the river and before I knew it I was late.” His chest tightened guilt eating away at his chest, making it hard to breath.


“Quiet fathers looking this way.” She said.

         Mass had always been the same for him but he doubted it would ever change. Completely bored out of his mind he sat counting away the minutes. Yet this endless counting never seemed to make the time past faster it just ticked by slower. When Kagari thought he could take it any longer mass was over but that did not stop words for slipping out of his mouth.


”Ahhh SHUT UP!” Everyone looked towards him and all was quiet except for the soft pitter-patter of rain on the roof. The pastor gave him a look disappointment that usually meant, “See me after mass.”


After everyone, left Kagari stayed with the pastor for punishment.


“I’m really disappointed Kagari.” The pastor shook his head.


“Mass is a time everyone gathers to say thanks to the lord to think you would say something like that.” He lectured on.


“For repentance I need you to pick weeds outside while think of your mistake.” The pastor looked at him once and turned to walk away.


"But Pastor it's raining." Kagari looked down at the ground to avoid the pastor’s eyes if he were to look back.


“A little rain won’t hurt you.” The pastor said and walked away.

         Outside was not as bad as it had sounded on the roof earlier it had settled down. Smoke grey clouds rolled across the sky, dimming the light. Kagari took to tearing away the weeds making quick work of it but by then the sky was pitch black. He started to walk back put a sharp pain struck his chest making him fall to the ground. It was as painful as being, stabbed in the chest and left to die. The sky flashed with light and the rain from above poured down. Kagari held his chest wincing in pain as the rain soaked his whole body from head to toe.

         “I must make it inside.” Gritting his teeth and bearing the pain, he stood and began his quest onwards once more. Nevertheless, knocked once more to the ground, black wings exploded from Kagari’s back. With a shriek he pulled at the wings pulling away, some of the blood covered feathers. However, he did not give up he pulled himself of the ground and charged forward. The rain made his clothing feel as heavy as lead sticking to his skin. When he made it to the door, Kagari was exhausted and his chest heaved up and down with every breath. Pulling at the door only made his hands bleed but that did not stop him.

         Kagari’s shoes hit the church’s floors with a squelch. Water flowed from his pants to the floor covering the floor in both water and blood. His body shook with each step and his feet bucked from underneath him. When Kagari could no longer go on, he collapsed to the ground slamming his head against concrete floor. His body lay crumbled on the ground in a puddle of his own blood. “I must find a way to hid myself or I’ll be discovered.” He said to himself in a whisper. Kagari pulled his body forward every part of his body aching and begging for rest. It was too late the children of the church all sat before him immersed in a game of poker.

         When they caught sight of him, some screamed others jolted to their feet. “Kagari.” She screamed running towards him, stopped by Abel’s hand. Abel looked at him as if looking at something disgusting and horrid.

“Jezebel do not touch him his not one of god’s children.” Abel yelled.


“Then what is he to you.” She yelled back in a panic.


“The plague.” He said glaring at Kagari. The other children gathered in a circle around him and started to sing.


“Ring around the rosy pocket full of poesy ashes ashes we all fall down.”

         In agony, he watched as the circled around him all laughing with delight. Using all his strength, he pulled himself off the ground and ran towards the exit stumbling a few times. Once outside Kagari ran towards his old hideout from when he was younger the old cave. Knowing he was safe, he laid on the ground and curled into a ball. The sound of water dripping from stalagmite from the ceiling kept him awake. Kagari pulled his legs closer trying to warm up.

         The smell of a colds day’s rain drifted through the air making his body shiver. It was almost impossible to fall asleep yet unconsciousness swallowed him..

         When he awoke, he found a jagged rock near his face anger and rage consumed him.Kagari lost it tearing the wings on his back until nothing remained but a pile of feathers. Two thick openings on his back flowed with blood but healed in no time. The only thing that was left was thin remises of scars. “I’m not human.” Kagari looked to his blood covered hands and closed his eyes.

         Tears escaped his eyes and traveled down his face to his chin. The sound of tears dripping on the ground echoed off the cave walls. “You must go back and face your fears.” Kagari’s subconscious screamed. “Shut up.” He squeezed his head in his hands. Frightened he sat thinking of what to do next, stomach growling. Kagari had two chooses starve to death or fend for himself in a church full of people who wanted to harm him. He decided to return to the only home he knew he set off towards the church.

         Two years had passed and many things had changed. Isolated and alone he learn to adapt to his environment making it more bearable. It was a daily occurrence to have stones thrown at him or get looks of disgust from anyone passing. To survive he worked for the church just to get scraps of food. The work was hard and required a lot of physical work. When he was finished, he rested on a hill far away from the church to get away from everything. Kagari laid on his back watching the clouds flout across the blue sky. The wind brushed his arms making skin prickle.

         Kagari watched as the air made the tall plush green grass sway side to side. The smell of smoked ham drifted through the air making his stomach growl. Rustling of grass startled him alerting him to possible danger.

“I brought you some food, filth.” Abel sneered dropping a piece of raw pig’s meat on his face.


“Thank you.” Kagari said sitting up and taking a bite from it.


“You’re welcome.” Abel said the look of disgusted clearly plastered on his face. When the sound off foots steps were out of range of hearing he laid down and closed his eyes, only to be started by someone shaking him.


"Kagari are you awake?” Jezebel asked. Knowing the voice, he kept his eyes closed.


“What are you doing here aren’t you scared of me?” Kagari opened his eyes and stared into hers keeping her eyes glued to his.


“You know they do say eyes reflect the soul.” She said sitting down next to him.


“What do my eyes say about me then?” He scoffed at the question as if it had not even exited his mouth.


“They say you’re not a danger.” She chuckled softly standing up.


“I have to go help out in the kitchen.” Jezebel wave at him and turned to walk away.

         When she left, he lost his lunch onto the ground making him even sicker than he had been. Kagari’s stomach twisted and churned to point it pained him. A small creak ran from the church to the bottom of the hill. Before he knew it, he found his feet traveling towards the creak edge. Kagari dropped to his knees from the pain of his stomach. The river reflected his image violet eyes stared back at him. His hair was almost translucent in the sun’s rays, wind blowing it slightly into his face. The water was rapid splashing upwards.

         Something pushed him from behind sending him plunging towards the waters. Cold water shocked his body sending him into a panic. Hands flailing and legs kicking he fought for an escape but the current was to strong. Kagari ended in failure the current sucking him down river waves splashing upward hitting him in the face. The salty taste of water suffocated him but he fought on hands catching the edge of the river.Using all his strength, he tried stopping himself making his fingernails bleed in the process. When he finally managed to pull himself out the river, it was hard to catch his breath Kagari laid defeated.

         Trudging towards the church soaked clothing soaked from the water. Finding a change of clothing in his room, he left towards the shower. A small water basin sat at the back of the church its waters musty. Water dipped from the roof landing in the basin making the water ripple. Using the basin, he washed the mud and salt water off himself. Startled by a shriek he hurried putting his clothing on forgetting a sock he rushed forwards. However, when he found Abel harassing Jezebel he froze in fear not sure what to do. Fear consumed Kagari making him retreat backwards slamming into someone.


“Look what I found a rat.” The person said pulling him by the collar towards Abel. Seeing Kagari, Abels face lite up with a smile.


         “Do you want a go?” He said mockingly pulling jezebel closer. Tightening his fists, he prepared himself for the worst. “Let her go before I make you.” Abel looked surprised for a moment then shook it off with a laugh.


“Make me you say, I’d like to see you try.” Abel said pulling out a knife.

         The person holding Kagari immediately pinned him to the ground holding him down.“Thanks Cain.” Abel said with a smile edging closer to him. Abel knelt down and pulled him by the hair forcing him to look Abel in the eyes.

         “Not so brave now are you, little shit.” Abel chuckled raking the knife down Kagari’s cheek to his chin. Blood immediately weld from the wound coving half his face in blood. Vision blurred he looked to Abel with a fierce look in his eyes, taking a deep breath. Flipping the knife in his hand Abel stood with a laugh.

         “I said let her go.” Kagari struggled and tugged seeking freedom from underneath Cain’s strong grasp.However, nothing worked instead he ended up more worn out than before. His chest heaved with each breath exhausted from action.


“You’re so amusing. I think I’ll keep you around a little longer.” Abel said in delight.


         “Why would you do this? I thought you had only Gods will in mind, I was wrong.” When Abel heard this he stepped towards him. Kagari responded by spitting at his foot, with a mixture of blood in his mouth. In turn, Abel stopped and simply wiped the spot from his shoe.


         “I’m growing tired of your little games. How, about a game of throwing knifes.” Abel said twirling the knife in between his fingers, nodding to Cain. Seeing his signal Cain removed himself from Kagari stepping away.

         “If you move you don’t know where this might end up.” Abel grinned gesturing towards jezebel. Kagari’s body shook with anger yet he did not move an inch.

         The soft grass tickled his chest with each rising motion of his chest. Concentrating hard only on the haggard sound of his breath inhaling in and exhaling out.

         When Abel took aim, his body froze up, holding his breath. Kagari’s eye exploded in excruciating pain as it struck his eye. He shrieked out in agony witch only seemed to make Abel more amused. With a grunt, Kagari pulled the knife out of his eye, standing up. Anger and rage consumed him causing him to lose control. After a while, every pain in his body went numb, charging forward teeth bared.

         Kagari relentlessly slammed his fist against Abels face.

“Help Me! The monster is attacking me.” Abel screamed out.

          A group of people flooded out of the churches door rushing towards him. They held him back keeping him from continuing. As they pulled Kagari away from him, the look on Abel’s faces was that of triumph. He had lost and he knew it that, look on Abel’s face had proved it. They dragged him to an old abandoned building close to the church.

         The building was worse than the church; it looked as if the slightest touch would cause it to fall to the ground. A hole sat where the door belonged, hinges torn and showing the inside. The noise of claws scattering across the cement floor made his aware that he was not the only visitor.

“Let me though he’s injured.’’ A woman yelled carrying a box, pushing her way through.


“Hold it! We have to retrain him.” A person shouted back blocking her way. Chains rattled as the man shackled Kagari’s leg to the wall.

         When the room was empty of people, but the two of them she walked to him. Scared Kagari retreated backwards tripping backwards onto a bed.

          “Don’t move.” The women said as she grabbed his chin holding it in place. Half blinded he reached out touching her on the arm. Her skin was cool to the touch, chilling his warm hands.


“Stay still, I won’t hurt you.” She said pulling out and flashlight an examining his eye.


She was so close to Kagari that he could feel the warmth of her body heat against his face.


“I’m a doctor from the city, my name is Azami.” She said removing his hand.


“Damn there’s no saving it.” Azami said with a glum look.


“Remove it.” Kagari thought panicking. He looked to Azami then to the door looking for escape.


“I didn’t want to do this.” Azami said pulling out a needle.

         Kagari stumbled to his feet and made a break for it. “You leave me choice” she said the needle falling to the ground with a clatter. Azami reach for his neck pressing down hard, before he knew it he passed out. His mind drifted off into to darkness, swallowed by a dream. A flash of white blinded his and then faded away.

         Velvet skies expanded over his visions enveloping him in peaceful feeling. Under him laid waters, yet he did not fall in nor did he become wet. The only sound was that of dripping, as if a faucet left on. Before he knew it the scene faded and became another skies became a celling and the waters a wooden floor in its place. A young boy sat before a fogged window staring out into the distance.

         The boy reached out touched the window, fingers leaving a trace as he pulled away. It was as if the cold feeling of the window was left on his fingertips. He looked to his fingers and then to the boy who was now in tear. “Mommy.” The boy whimpered. All of the sudden the vision shattered as if hit by a baseball. Kagari’s eyes shot open staring at the mold-crusted ceiling.

         An unfamiliar scent stuck to the sheets and to his skin. It was the pungent smell of antiseptic used to clean. Azami laid next to him sleeping soundly, gloves still left on. The faint smell of antiseptic and grass wafted from her. He cringed at it the smell, rolling over only to find him flat ion the ground. Azami sat up sleepy eyed looking at him not sure of what was going on.

“Are you alright?” Azami asked rushed over him.

“I’m fine.” Kagari pushed her away and looked outside. A cold breeze brushed by his body bring, with it the scent of a burning building.

          “Let me out of these chains now!” Surprised she started at him finally unshackling the chain. He yanked the cuff from his leg with a grunt throwing it to floor. Kagari bolted towards the exit like an animal seeking escape.

         An orange glow came from where the church sat in the distance. Dark grey clouds covered the moon blocking out all light. The air was thick with smoke making it hard to breath. The fire raged on as he rushed closer to the church. Fire consumed the building from within burning everything thing in its path. Giant multicolored flames engulfed the building spread and breaking windows.

         Falling windows slammed against the ground with crash. Crowds of people flooded past him, yelling and screaming. Through the cluster, he could see Abel pinning Jezebel to the ground. Kagari pushed past the swarm knocking shoulders with everyone he passed. Stumbling a few times did not stop him from pushing forward. With an abrupt explosion, sparling backwards he hit the ground with a smack.

         Every bone in his body throbbed with pain. Kagari told his body to move but it would not listen. His arms shook as he tried to lift his body of the ground. However, it did him no good, his arms gave out.This time when he landed there was a sharp crack from his arm. The pain was intense then faded into a dull ache. Kagari could no longer see Abel and Jezebel among the ruble that had fallen along with the explosion. A collection of burning wood still lay on the ground hissing and crackling.

         He screamed to the sky letting out his frustration and distress. As if in response rain, fell from above the moon peeking out from the clouds. Rain soaked his whole body washing the blood from his torn hands. Kagari fell to his knees burying his head in his hands. Blood covered his face coming away with his hands as they slipped from his face. That sky was the last he saw, only accompanied by darkness for the rest of his days.

         A wave of dizziness washed over him falling to the ground unconscious. When he woke, he felt a slight warmth against his skin as hands wrapped a material around his arm. The material was soft and silky to the touch. Kagari stopped the hands then spoke. “Azami is that you?” The hands pulled away quickly leaving his grasp completely. “Can you not see me?” Azami asked. She sat next to Kagari looking right at his face; however, he stared blankly off into the distance. “I cannot.” He could feel the heat of her hands as they closed around his face. There was soft tickle as she inched them closer to his eye. “This eye can be saved.” Azami said in a whisper. “What?”

         A smell that Kagari had smelt once before, the smell of roses came with Azami’s hands. “Were you picking roses?” He stopped her hand once more with his and removed it.

“No…But you were covered in pedals when I found you.” Azami said brushing hair out of her eyes sheets making a soft rustle as she moved around. He did not quite understand but his gut told his something was wrong.


“Your hands what happened to them?” Azami asked in a concerned voice. When he rubbed his hands together, he felt the dampness of blood.

         Kagari senses were so sharp without the use of his eyes that he could pick out the iron smell of blood in the air. “You’re not Azami.” His body stiffened up staying completely still.


“Man you guessed too early.” The tone of voice faded to males.


“Tck, you took the fun out of that.” The guy snickered.


“Who are you?” The man looked to him with a grin on his face although unseen he remained amused.


“I am nobody but somebody at the same time.” The guy said jokingly.


He sat silently looking to the direction of the voice.


“Are you not the least bit curious?” Kagari could hear the soft rustle of pants against the floor as the man grew closer.


“I am Cresil.”


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