Secrets of a molested child

                                    Secrets of a molested child


Have you ever felt such happiness that you thought you'd never stop smiling,
To have your heart beat so loudly that you could hear it in your ears?
Did you ever see a smile so beguiling
That just the thought of that face could bring you to tears?
Well, I have. It was the day my beautiful daughter was born,
Feelings aroused in me like the dawn of a new morn.

Have you ever felt the gentleness of a butterfly on your palm ,
Or the softness of feathery down on your cheek?
Did you ever have anything make you feel such peace and calm
That the thought of never having had this moment could make you weep?
Well, I have. It was when I first held my daughter in my arms,
Feeling of delight as comforting as the heat from a hearth that warms.

I watched her grow day by day. She was such a joy to me.
She had such a gentle soul and the countenanace of an angel.
Her laughter was like a sip of pure honey.
Did you ever have a moment that could put your emotions in a tangle?
Well, I have. It was any time my daughter cried, which wasn't very often.
She was such a happy baby and knew how to make her moms heart soften.

By the age of six she had grown into a beautiful little swan.
she danced with the grace that surpassed her age, with the elegance of a pro.
She and her friends in the neighborhood entertained us on the lawn
With acrobatics and dance routines, they put on quite a show.
Amazing feats of tumbling and dance all made up by my little girl.
Her talents even at this age made hearts skip a beat and sent minds awhirl.

During her grade school years we moved  a lot, but she never missed a beat.
She kept a smile on her face, made good grades and seemed to adjust well.
Ive often thought back how hard that must have been to never show defeat.
To start all over time and again,to feel misplaced ,but never tell.
I wished many times I could make amends and just stay in one place,
So she could feel she belonged to a community and her own space.

She danced on through her senior year and never was much trouble.
I never had much to give her, but I did the best I could.
I must have buried my head in the sand or lived in a bubble.
My hope was always that she knew if I could have done more , I would.
No one deserved more than my baby daughter
But her father led her like a lamb to the slaughter.

Her childhood was definitely not one to mark up as a great example.
Heaven knows I failed her by not knowing,not seeing her pain.
If I could go back and supply her  with everything in ample,
If I could change all the horror she endured,Id go back again.
Sometimes loving one with all your heart is just not enough
When behind your back, betrayal makes things so tough.

Shes now a gorgeous lady, still with poise and grace.
Sometimes I wonder how she managed to achieve this.
Now that she's older ,I can see a tinge of sorrow in her face.
If only I could have seen it then, but she was careful to hide anything amiss.
My little girl was too busy protecting me.
While the man I had loved,her father, his evil I could not see.

Years have come and gone now, The divorce is over ,the charges filed.
Not a day passes that I don"t struggle with the guestion..."Why?"
Not one memory that does not have his face implanted to drive me wild.
He was my high school sweetheart.Everything I thought I knew was a lie.
Twenty one years of my life I thought I'd built on a stone
Only to find it was all a joke and now I'm all alone.

Have you ever felt such grief that you thought you'd never stop crying?
Did you ever wonder how on earth you could ever make things right?
Knowing does not always bring joy.Knowledge can make you feel like dying,
Leave you searching for answers at wee hours of the night.
Sometimes there are no right answers,just the never ending grief.
The knowledge that evil crept in and stole your family like a thief.

Have you ever built sandcastles in the sand and tasted the salty air,
Just to see them come crumbling down.
Have you ever watched the tide roll in and scatter them everywhere?
Such is a life when trust is betrayed  and all that remains is a sound.
The sound of  your own heart and the feel of tears rolling down your face.
The only solace that I have is that he'll never get out of that place.