Hope Floats Away

Nadia fell in love with him in a flash. They met online and it was wonderful! He said all the things I dreamt a lover would say.  His endearments made Nadia’s heart beat faster, her blood flow and Hope, which had lain dormant for so long, peaked out of Her safe place and looked around—she liked what she saw and started to stretch out toward the warmth of the love that was growing.

That morning was better than the night before and there was no indication that the end was coming. Nadia looked on her cell phone next to the bed to see a wonderful email signed by her love and she purred like a contented kitten.  Hope was uncurling, putting a leg outside and was ready to climb out of the deep crevice.
But just as suddenly, it was over and Nadia didn’t understand. He sent her a text message, at the usual time  that read “I have a problem”.  Hope paused, the leg inches from the ground, and held Her breath in dread.

Nadia asked what was wrong, and the answer was “I need money” and then she knew…it was a farce.  What a fool she’d had been, and Hope pulled Her leg back toward her chest and into the fissure that suddenly became deeper than when She climbed out.

Money! It always comes to that! Nadia had only known him a few days, so the request for money was definitely unexpected.  Yet when he said he had a problem, she knew the problem was money. He had a good reason, Nadia supposed, but he wasn’t getting it from her. Nadia’s world crashed and splintered.  When she refused,  the expected happened…

“You don’t really care” he said. “You don’t want to help me”, “I wouldn’t ask if I didn’t need”, blah, blah, blah. Nadia tried to smooth it over, tried to come up with a compromise.  It didn’t matter.  All that happened next was cold and unfeeling.  The man who coaxed Hope out of Her entrenchment, pushed Her, head first in the abyss.  No words of love or endearment; just blame and frostiness.  Nadia knew it was over and the icy fingers strangled Hope almost to death. He didn’t even say goodbye and when she asked if they were done, there was no actual response. The silence said it all.

Nadia tried to speak to Hope but there wasn’t an answer.  She’s too far in the void and only time can bring Her out. She whispered as she fell, “Why?” and Nadia echoed her sentiment.  With openness and love, she opened her heart, only to have it tossed back at her feet. Hope could say, this is a cautionary tale, but it’s been done before.  For Her, it was not so much a warning as proof to stay within. It will be a long time before Nadia would trust again; but she didn’t know if Hope would ever return.