a story about a father's talk with his son about direction in life. |
" The counselors say I lack focus, dad. They say I need to settle down. That I need to set a goal and achieve it. Am I a failure, and what is focus, anyway." The young man had just come home from High school, nearly in tears. His session with the guidance counselor did not, apparently, go well. John is an average student, not a 4.0, by any means...John, however, is not an average person. When he was a child, his IQ was measured in the high 160 range.... exceptionally gifted. I cried. He was, apparently following in the old man's footsteps. "John, sit down. If you were 5 years older, I'd offer you a beer. Have a Coke and listen to what I have to say, evaluate it, internalize it, and move on from here , armed with some new knowledge ." Dad drew a long breath, collected his thoughts, and began the soliloquy that may be the singular most important thing John had ever heard in his life: When I was in high school, we didn't have guidance counselors, not in the vein you do now. Ours counseled the ones who had specific goals in mind. Those with focus. John, You and, yes, I , have a gregarious take on life. I think it is a curse. How can one focus on a singular purpose in life when there are so many opportunities to learn and do new and interesting things out there? I. personally am glad that there are people out there who can be focused enough to become brain surgeons, nuclear scientists , and all those other people who have made our life better. you and I have what I would like to define as " focused perifreal vision" We see the big picture. We want everything Now Sorry, John Ain't gonna happen You can't be a brain surgeon, rocket scientist, skydiver, rock-n-roll musician, race car driver. Not in only one lifetime. Believe me, I have tried. Time runs out. You know what is the worst part? Later, when you can be retrospective, you realize what you should have done, what avenue you should follow. Maybe who It is you should have allowed in to your world. Then it becomes too late. John, I really don't know what to tell you. I am not a failure. Neither, by most people's measure, am I a success. I know many, many things. I have been many, many places, I have talent immeasurable, but I,too lack any focus perfirial vision too acute I didn't tell her I loved her when I had the chance. If nothing else at least do that. |