Chapter 10

“Hey you one armed computer geek, you ready to leave this place?” I heard Tracy call out to me as she entered my hospital room.

“Just waiting for the final walking papers to be signed. But I need that wonderful, beautiful mind of yours again to fix my screw up.” I whined.

Taking a deep breath, “You recall my online friend. I got an answer finally and I wrote her back. I read the email I sent later and I think that the morphine got to me. I wrote some stuff that I’m not sure was the best answer.”

“Like what?” Tracy asked.

Grabbing my laptop and opening my email, “Here it’s better if I just showed you.”

Watching her reaction while she read the emails was strange. The looks on her face went from awe to shock to knowing to cold. By the time she was done I had no idea what she was thinking.

“YOU JACKASS, YOU COMPARED HER TO A MAIL ORDER BRIDE!” she almost shouted as she slammed the lid down on my laptop. “Do you have any idea how that sounded? Trust me from a woman’s view; you pretty much called her a slut.”

“She wanted to open up to you and get to know you. I can understand you wanting to go slow and not reveal too much after what happened a few years ago. But thinking she just wanted a way into the country?” she said, as she sat there rubbing her temples.

“Ok Tracy, help me fix this please. I don’t know what to do, I just know exchanging emails with her felt right. And as strange as it may sound, I’m missing these emails. Miss them a lot in fact.” I sighed.

“I might have a few ideas. Tell you what, find that nurse and get discharged. Then you can pay up on that lunch downstairs. I’m not sure why but I’ll help you.” Tracy said as she started gathering the rest of my things.

As she gathered Dan’s stuff, Tracy kept thinking, is Raven THE Raven? What if I introduce them and she isn’t the one he has pictured in his mind? Daniel why do you make things so damn hard!

Walking into the cafeteria, we grab some food and found a table to sit at. Looking at Tracy, I noticed her watching another couple. “Ok, what are the ideas you have so I can fix this?”

“Mmhmm, hold on I’m thinking” Tracy says sitting there thinking about the couple she was looking at. “Ok, you gotta think of a way to redeem yourself. I want you to think of a simple apology to test, but you’re not going to say it to me. You’re going to say it to her, a stranger just like your Raven007 is,” as she points to the other table.

“Start thinking, I’m going over to talk to her.” She says rising from her chair.

“Wait,” I exclaimed “you’re going up to some random stranger and going ask me to apologize to her?”

“Of course not, you goofball. That’s Tom’s partner over there and a family friend; you met her when they brought you in. I’m going to go over there and ask if she will help me. While I’m talking to her, you think of a way to talk to this Raven, but be ready to change it some if she comes over and says anything.” She explained.

“I’m not sure Tra..”

“Listen, you want my help or not?” she asked. “If you can face a stranger and say something then you can write something in an email. Now admit I have a point, accept it, and let it happen,” she huffed.

I sat there contemplating what Tracy said as I watched her walked across the cafeteria. Paying attention to the table she was heading to I take a good look at Tom’s partner for the first time. Not knowing what Raven looks like might be one of my issues, so maybe looking at a beauty like her will help me think of what to say.

I noticed her date get up as Tracy sat down and for a brief instance I was jealous of him. Here he was having lunch with his girlfriend without a care about the rest of us; enjoying the time spent with someone close.

Why do some couples make it look so easy? Here I was having a hard time connecting with someone new while I’m looking at couples having a good time. I want that with Raven, but how do I go about it?

Watching them get up, I watched as they walked back over to me. I take in Tracy’s look and see that she was trying to hide something or at least keep her emotions in checked. What is she up to?

“OK Dan here she is. The woman you’ve been thinking about. The one you messed up with and chased away. She can fill the role I asked, ‘cuz her boyfriend just did something stupid as well, so she’s waiting for something from him. Now remember this might be your only chance, so make me proud, you jerk”

Looking over at this angelic person I only saw the other day made me pause for a few moments, collecting my thoughts and wits. Can I do this to a stranger? Is Tracy right will this help?

“Raven, the last time I spoke to you, I was having a hard time in my life. My week was going fine with our talks but something unexpected happened and it left me not being myself. As I started to explain before I’ve been hurt, and with me being shy I tend to shut people out and not let them see the real me, ‘til I feel safe. I’m not sure what all I was saying the other day, but looking back on it; I see where some of it may be taken wrongly by you. I do wish to get to know you better but I’m afraid to open up to you and have my past rush back. I feel a certain connection when we talk and these last few days that feeling has been replaced by loneliness. I don’t know what I can say or do to make this better, but I do know how to say I’m sorry. I’m sorry for hurting you, I’m sorry for pushing you away, and I’m sorry that I might’ve lost you. I understand that I cannot erase what I said, but I can hope that you can overlook that mistake, when compared to what we have shared. I’m sorry.”

Standing there looking at her face, I thought I saw a single tear drop. Was I that good? Or was her break up that bad and she needed to hear those words that her boyfriend should’ve told her. Tracy might’ve been right about this!

Raven looks at him, “Dan is it? I can feel the thoughts and effort you put into that. You had feeling and to a woman that does help. I think she would be a fool not to talk to you after that, even if it’s just to talk about what you did. I know I would”

“Also every woman likes a gift from a lover that jilted her. Find something that will grab and hold her attention; something that she can respect you for taking the time to get. That will give you a few extra make up points.” Raven pointed out.

“I got to go. My shift starts in 45 minutes and you know how cranky Tom can get. Tracy it was nice seeing you and Dan I’m glad you’re doing ok. Both of them were wrecks the other day, I can see how much you mean to them.” Raven says walking away.

“Ok Daniel,” Tracy says grabbing my attention. “Take what you said and go with it. She was right it felt like you meant it and it was good. The gift idea is nice but I have no clue about how to do that in an email. Now let’s get you home and settled. You got a long recovery to go through”

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I finally broke down and called Dr. Lucas. He was incredibly sweet over the phone and I felt a lot of relief as we talked. We agreed to meet for lunch the next day at the hospital. I warned him that I'd be wearing my uniform, since I'd be taking my lunch break too, but he only laughed and told me that he'd be wearing scrubs. Business as usual for us.

Tom dropped me off at the hospital and I walked inside. Coming into any other entrance aside from the emergency room was weird and I was actually a little lost.

"Raven?" Dr. Lucas called out to me from the main lobby. "Hey, I was looking for you. I thought we could walk down to the cafeteria together.

Do they make them any sweeter? I smiled, impressed with his little show of thoughtfulness and initiative.

"Busy shift so far?" He held a fire door open for me, taking me through what I assumed was his shortcut.

"No thankfully. I had my fill of excitement yesterday though. Some drug deal gone bad and five GSWs. Good thing you were on graveyard for that one." The previous day was one that I would gladly forget. I was exhausted when I got home, grateful for my bath tub.

"I heard when I got in." He extended his arm, allowing me to go first.

We walked into the cafeteria and got in line. We looked at what was available and I settled on a roasted chicken breast with steamed veggies and he chose grilled salmon and steamed asparagus. He led me to a table, where he pulled out my chair for me, and we sat down to eat.

"I'm glad you called me, Raven. I have to say that I was a little surprised, but I was also grateful." He took a forkful of the salmon and put it into his mouth. Closing his eyes, he chewed a few times before opening them and shaking pepper on the rest of the fish on his plate.

"Grateful? Why were you grateful." I watched his easy smile and I couldn't help giving one of my own. He's contagious! I laughed to myself, seeing him sitting there, looking like he had bitten into a piece of rubber with his next bite of fish.

He didn't hesitate to answer me though. "I was grateful because I honestly didn't think I stood a chance with you."

I wasn't expecting that answer! "Really? I'm not quite sure how to respond to that." I was honest, I really didn't know what to say and I could feel heat rushing to my face in the moment.

"Take it as a sign that the man across from you is very interested in getting to know you." His smile changed from easy to almost predatory.

Looking at him, hearing his words and seeing that wicked smile, made my head swim. This is definitely more than I expected! "Well, if I'm honest, I didn't think a guy like you would be interested in me either. I'm glad I was wrong." Please don't think I'm a desperate freak!

"Now I'm not sure how to respond. Do you honestly think that any man in his right mind would turn down the opportunity to get to know you? If you find a guy like that, let me know so that I can have him committed. Unless he just isn't into women."

We both laughed and I actually felt lighter. The way he looked at me combined with his calm easy nature was nice, and it felt natural. More importantly, he's seeing the real you; you don't have to perform or put on a show.

"So tell me, what do you do when you're off duty?" He pushed the food on his plate. It almost looked as though he was trying to figure out which of the things on his plate was the least unappetizing.

"I run, I watch movies, I cook." In other words I'm a boring spinster. All I need is a house full of cats.

"Where do you run and what kind of movies do you watch?" He seemed to perk up with interest, abandoning the food on his plate.

"I usually run around my neighborhood and there's a park not too far from me. As far as movies, I like martial arts, action, that kind of stuff." I watched his face light up.

"You lie! You like martial arts movies too? What did you think about The Protector?"

I nearly fell off my chair. "I love Tony Jaa! His moves are just amazing. I especially like the out takes."

We laughed and went over the various movies that we'd both seen. We actually have a lot in common, even outside of patients and hospitals.

He leaned forward across the table, bringing his face as close to mine as possible. "You're a beautiful woman, Raven and I can see that both inside and out. People who don't have good hearts don't do what you do for a living. I'm glad I'm getting the chance to get to know you."

I was speechless. I mean literally speechless and my mouth nearly dropped open.

"Hello, sorry for the interruption."

I turned my head to see Tracy standing there. She must be here visiting her friend. "Hi Tracy, what's up?"

“Hey Hun, can I speak to you for a minute?”

"Sure, let me introduce you to my lunch date. This is Dr. Lucas, Brian, this is Tom’s wife Tracy. Would you mind giving us a couple minutes?”

"Not a problem let me take your tray while I'm up. It was nice meeting you, Tracy." He slid my tray from in front of me and piled it on top of his own before he stood and offered Tracy his seat.

I watched her sit down before my curiosity got the better of me. “OK T, what’s up?”

She pointed to a man at another table as she spoke. “You remember my friend that you guys brought in the other day? He’s kind of shy and I was wondering if you could help me with something for him?”

I looked at him carefully, remembering him almost instantly. Who can forget the guy that Tom nearly had a coronary over? “Yeah I remember him, how is he?" I got a weird feeling as I watched her and decided to call her on it. "Are you trying to set me up with a guy like Tom did? What did he tell you?”

“Wait. Set you up? Tom is playing match maker? He’s lucky I made the first move or he would still be singles hopping,” Tracy rolled her eyes and laughed at the image of Tom as a single man. “And no, I’m not trying to set you up.”

I decided to give her the abridged version of the story, not wanting to relive it and after meeting with Dr. Lucas, I was grateful to be moving on. "I met a guy online and I really liked him, but it didn’t work out. You know how close Tom and I are; so I cried on his shoulder about it. Next thing I know, he suggests that I ask Dr. Lucas out so that I can focus on people right in front of me and not to worry about the perverts online.” I had to laugh as I thought about the situation. "I'm really glad I took his advice, I'm actually enjoying myself."

I watched Tracy sitting there looking like she was about to burst out laughing. Did Tom tell her anything? Is she laughing about how stupid I was to fall for someone so quickly?

“Perfect! Here’s the deal. He is having a hard time with this woman he just met, and he thinks he said something the wrong way. Now he has no idea what to say or do to make it better. It won’t do him any good to use me as a sounding board, but I was wondering if we could use you.” I watched her as her eyes moved between Dan and me.

I checked my watch to see how long I had before I had to meet Tom for my shift and I looked over the cafeteria, finding the good doctor chatting with another colleague. He glanced over at me and smiled. I smiled back and returned my eyes to Tracy. "Let's make this quick then."

I followed her over and she set up what I'd thought of in my mind as a "scene." I listened to her and almost burst out laughing when she called him a jerk. I hid it well and I was proud of myself for doing so.

I stared at the poor guy, feeling embarrassment for him for having to go through this and I listened to his apology. His words were heartfelt and genuine and I found myself wishing for a fraction of a second that I could have read words like that from a certain someone. Let it go, you're moving on.

That voice was right, I was moving on and I gave him my critique and my suggestion before excusing myself and catching up with Dr. Lucas. We decided to take a walk for the rest of the time that I had available and we enjoyed an easy conversation.

Before I knew it, Tom was pulling up. "I enjoyed this afternoon. Thanks for a good time, I really needed it." I hope that didn't sound too desperate.

"I had fun and I'm glad we could get together. Let's do it again sometime, how about dinner instead of lunch though?"

"It's a date, let me know what days you're off and we can compare schedules."

"Sounds good. Have a good rest of the day, Raven." He leaned in and kissed me lightly on the cheek. "And be safe."

I couldn't really speak so I nodded and smiled like an idiot as he opened the door for me, and helped me into the passenger side of the ambulance. He closed the door and hit it twice with the palm of his hand, letting Tom know that it was ok to pull off.

"So, how'd it go?" Tom's eyes were on the road as we pulled out of the circular driveway of the main entrance.

"It went really well." I was as giddy as a school girl.

"So, will you see him again?" I could see his raised eyebrow and I laughed.

"That's the plan!"