He's out with friends

He's out. With friends. With ex-colleagues who are friends.

I'm out of his radar for the past...... 5 hours.

What's gonna happen to us?

I know I really shouldn't. But it just happened. I didn't even know that I liked you. I just got over a crush. It was barely a few days ago that had past that we started chatting. You called me. I like people who make the effort to call. I like people who made the effort. Because I myself can't be bothered. I expect the guy to put in the effort anyway.

We have known each other for barely a month.

I have doubts about his stories. But then again, who would want to invent stories just to get a girl? Especially since I'm so easy. When I don't bother, I can sleep with anyone. With no feelings; like a log. I don't cum. I just don't.

I do wonder whether he is the one whom I would cum for.

I have so much doubts and insecurities, I don't know whether I would enjoy round 2 of sex with him. Didn't exactly enjoy it a lot the first time round because it was the first time I told him about my burden. It is something that he couldn't stand, since he is in the same trouble himself. But I guess, he is coping better than me. Anyway, the burden was on my heart when we first "made love".

And I like him so much, I didn't ask him to use a condom. Just wanted him to feel me properly.

I feel like an idiot, checking my phone every now and then to check if he's checked his what'sapp. He's not online or last seen since 7.16 pm, which I think is a good sign. Either it means that he's having too much fun to check his phone, or, he's really drunk.

Really want to hear from him.

And now I have to face someone who is texting me and well...... I don't really wanna talk to him.

Why can't he spend the same 5 hours with me?

I have to stay in the dark, while everybody else is in the light.

I wonder how long I can take staying in the dark.

I'm the kind of person who likes to brag about my boyfriend. Now... He's not exactly mine and I'm not exactly his. Officially.

Why do I fall in love so easily?

He got mad when I slept with another guy, which made me realise he really care about me. I mean, if he doesn't care he wouldn't be mad right? I felt so bad for doing it. Really, really bad. Like someone cutting me up with a knife inside. It was a plausible way to end the relationship at that time. I guess I shouldn't have apologised to him. It would have saved me from this now. Thinking; doubting.

Just need to hear from him.

Where are you?