Damaged Thoughts

I've been awake all night. I been having these thoughts, and sudden urges that I'm ashamed to speak of. The other night, I dreamed I was savagely pulling chunks of flesh from a screaming,booze filled hooker. As she lay begging for her life, I just smiled and took her picture. Then I drank her diseased blood as if it were sacrificial. I don't know why I think this way. This is just the beginning.



I live in a crummy neighborhood, in a crummy apartment, with a crummy view. My landlord is cheap as hell, and the rodents co-rent. I got a lousy job and I can't even drive. So of course I am alone. I'm a attractive man, I'm just not intrested in anyone. I guess I'm afraid, mostly because I never know what might happen. Every time I see an attractive woman, all I think about is tasting her blood. What would she look like dressed in lingere, with her body sewn back together inside out. My god why can't I leave these thoughts behind. Why does it feel so damn good to have such thoughts. Oh well, I'll figure it out sooner or later.



Just another hour before I go home to my infested apartment. I can't stand being there, but it beats listening to another awful joke from my shythead boss Lance Anderson. The lazy fkcer is so arrogant and annoying. All I want to do is shove a fuking bottle down his big mouth. Then there's Gloria, the office kiss azz, what a pathetic little skank! I'd like to show her who the real man is. If only she would talk to me. Oh no, I'm not good enough. One day, Gloria and I will dance. Dance until I kill her that is.



I sat down in my lazyboy, cracked open a bottle of jack daniels and grabbed the remote. "For christs' sake there's never anything worth watching on." I turn off the t.v. and throw the remote agaisnt the wall. As I allow the jack daniels to take control, I hear those voices and get those urges again. "You're a looser. The only way you'll get respect is to kill the bastrds. Make them all suffer, just like when you were a kid. They only hurt you if you don't hurt them. So kill them you coward. Kill the ungreatful sons of bytches and set your soul free."



I jump from my chair stumbling like a drunken bum. I try walking it off, but every step brought more thoughts. So I drown my self in booze and scream repeatedly. "You can never escape me, I have always been here. I'm everywhere you are." The drunker I got the louder the voices got. Then I blacked out. That's the last thing I remember.



Fresh Blood



I awoke the next morning feeling like a new man. The only thing I couldn't understand is, where the hell did all the blood come from? What happened last night? My shirt was covered in it. I got up looked around my apartment, but couldn't find a thing. I'm sure I did't go out last night. Maybe it was just a bad nose bleed. I do remember flipping out once the voices started. No time to think about it now. There's another shyt filled day of work ahead of me. I got cleaned up, drank a cup of Mr.Jack Daniels, and headed out the door.



I arrived at work a hour late. I thought my boss would be on my ass, but he wasn't. There was no sign of little miss suck up. I assumed she was pleasuring Mr. Prickhead under his desk again. It turns out she was brutally murdered last night. Her throat was visciously slashed, and her stomach was eaten. They say you could see all organs as if they were on display. She died in pain. Pain is what she deserved I thought to myself. I would have done worse. If only it could have been me. That bytch was mine to kill said the voice. I can't wait to see the bastard that done it, the lucky muthafuka.



Totally consumed in thoughts, I did the best thing I know how. I drank. Hell no one cares, in fact no one really cared what had happened. Hey, that's life. Nobody cares if you live or die in this world. They just walk over your cold dead body and proceed to their miserable lives, and wish it was them laying there. I still couldn't help but wonder how it would have felt to watch her suffer! I imagine the way she must have tasted down to the final breath. Her eyes slowly draining of light and life, focused on me intensely and I'm loving every minute of it. That would have been what I needed to get by. My thoughts started to get the best of me cause I began to crave. It wasn't for food, it was blood.



DELILAH BAXTER



It was 6a.m. when I got the call over the radio. Another homicide with the same mo,throat slashed and victim was eaten,blead until she died. "Jesus Christ"! This is the fifth one this week. When I arrived at the scene it was hard to keep focus. It was a shame the things that were done to her. She had indeed been raped,the killer then proceeded to take huge bites out of her stomach eating each piece, until she died. Then he cut her throat open, and pulled her tounge through it. There was no sign of the missing flesh. Observing the scene, I knew we had a serial killer on our hands.



The things I've seen lately is horrible!! I mean, who could do such awful things? I can't imagine the hurt these women went through. This jerk really did a number on this one. She never had a chance. She suffered massive blood loss, and he ate parts of her heart. What could possibly be going through this mans head. I've never been so sick and pissed in my life. This guy isn't finished yet. By the way he does things, I don't think he ever will.



The Truth-



The news broadcasted Glorias' murder tonight. They talked of how brutally maimed she was. My god I wish it would have been me. She had a scent that drove me wild. If only..."Hey asshole, it was you. Well really it was me. You don't have the balls to murder, so I killed her. It was good, real good." No fuking way!!! No fuking way, I didn't do this. "No you didn't, we did it! Now we've gotten away with it too! Don't you remember? You were so slopped that night. You went out for mor booze. Then little miss suck 'em in fuk 'em comes right up to us. That's where I stepped in. You loved every minute of it."



"Nooo!" It couldn't have! I couldn't even hold my head up. There's no fuking way I murdered anyone. If I had, I would surely remember. "Don't you get it Deanie boy! You were the same way, even when you were a kid. So full of doubt, so naieve to the truth." "Whha-what?" "You really don't remember. We been killing people since we were five. Ahh, you loved it so much then. As you grew, you became weakened by so called human emotion. I'm just glad I been around to keep those feelings from taking over. We've murdered over hundreds. They always begged for mercy as we devoured their flesh,getting intoxicated off the taste of their blood. Gloria Newman was no different. In fact she was better. So Deanie boy, you are a killer. That blood stained shirt proves it, that and the little trophy you got in your sock drawer. "



At that moment I got up and went to my room. I slowly approached my sock drawer as if it contained deadly explosives. My gutt was telling me go with the change it can be good. I slowly opened my drawer, and there laid Gloria's bellybutton. I knew it was hers because it still had the ring in it and the tattoo. It seems I bit that part out to perserve her trashy treasures. I never did care for women with tattoos. Sudden urges came over me until I found myself licking the access blood off the chunk of flesh. I could get used to this I thought. I did, cause I was already heading out my door, in search of fresh meat.



New Beginings



~DELILAH~



Today was a long awful day. I can't wait until I get home. Shower,nice meal, then a good bottle of wine to clear my thoughts. I'm still in awe at the things I saw. I feel so bad for her family, they seemed so so sad. Things like this makes me want to stay single. I don't last thirty minutes on a date because I ask so many questions. It makes them feel uncomfortable. I guess if it don't work then I'm better off alone anyway.



After I showered and ate, I called my friend Holly to see if she wanted to go out tomorrow night. Holly being Holly, she quickly accepted. I told her I wanted to find a man, and I was going to keep my job a secret. She just laughed and told me some men are just itimidated by a strong woman with a badge. That and you can kick their ass! She's so silly. Holly is the only family I have, I can always count on her to make me feel better. I turned out my lights, turned on some soft music, and popped open a bottle.



~Dean~



I stepped out into the night hour with a new taste on life. No more will I be looked upon as a pathetic flake, with no place in life. I've been reborn, and I'm taking control. My only desire was to find the perfect prey. A couple of women scurried past me like a herd of cattle. No! I need something different, something unique. Wait what's this? I see a tall slender woman coming towards me. "Hi!" she says as she walked past. So I follow her. "Kind of dangerous this time of night ain't it? Someone as beautiful as yourself shouldn't be out alone." "Will you protect me? You look like a strong man. You're definately knight material. She laughed jokingly stroking my cheek." I knew then that she brought the bait. I ask her if she wants to have some fun. She accepted full heartedly. I lean in to take in her scent, and I crave. I take her to the one place she would never be heard, my apartment. There no one hears your screams. They're too busy screaming themselves.



We arrive at my apartment and immediately she takes off my clothes. I push her hands away and rip off her shirt. I gently kiss all over while inhaling her scent trying so hard not to start my party yet. I wanted to toy with this one. I continue to smell her flesh until I finally lost control. I bit a huge piece of her stomach as she screamed in pain. I savagely sucked blood from her wound. Taking bigger bites each time. She fought desperately, but I was to much for her. I tied her hands together behind her. Then I went wild. This was the life I been longing for.



After I dumped the body, I drove to the  bar to have a drink. I kept thinking about my new image. "Ahhh you enjoy this don't you! Just like old times, we always had fun. Remember that time when we were five, and mom introduced us to our first kill? It was brutal! Yet and still we couldn't get enough." Yes those were good times. I need someone different a new challenge. I might try to date. "People likes us don't date. How can you? You're a murderer!!!" Thats part of my whole plan. I can always get rid of them if I don't like them. Tomorrow night we hunt.



~Delilah~



Today is going to be different! I said to myself with hopes that I'd believe it. I was off but on call, and I swore I was going to make this free time count. I ran all errands quick and early. I ate like a pig, and I got in some exercise. I got ready to hit the club and called Holly. "Hey girl you are still going right?" "Hell yeah I'm going! I need a man too! "You got like five of them don't you?" "Yeah, but a girl can never have too many." "Girl just get over here and stop playing." "I'm on my way." I hung up looked myself over in the mirror then headed for the front door.



The club was packed and the music was °cbumping. I almost tripped coming in but Im good. Holly found us a table, and I found a drink. "So whats been going on lately Dede? Any intresting cases you working on?" You know I cant discuss things like that with you. Why are you so noisy girl?" "You know Im going to find out, we do work in the same precinct." "Well I guess you will, but I'm still not telling you." "I came here to get away from work, so buy me another drink and stop ya spying!" "Damn you got mean since you made detecive! Yes sir officer!" We both laughed and sipped on long island ice tea. Then the finest man I'd ever seen stepped in the club. I mean a bytch almost dropped her drink! I hope he's single! I noticed he was searching the crowd. Maybe he meeting someone. That's until he spotted me and walked right over.



How ya'll ladies doin tonight? My name is..is Jeremy. Can I by ya'll a drink? "Sure, I'll have some patron and my friend here will take a mojito. My name is Holly and this my girl Delilah. "Nice to meet ya'll. So miss Delilah you got a man?" No, I'm single at the moment. She said with a smile. So can I have your number so we can get togher sometimes? Sure. We exchanged numbers and I left. Iwas lookin for a kill, but hey the nights still young. I couldnt stop thinkin about that woman. Damn.. I hate stumblin for words. It leads to suspicion, but I couldn't tell them my real name. They were both sexi ass hell, but the thick brown skinned one is too fukin sexi. I gotta have her she perfect for my every desire. For now I must feed him.



--DELILAH--



Girl did you see how fine he was? "I know. He was really handsome. So are you going to go out with him." I dont know Holly, he seems kind of strange. Like he's hiding something. "Hey maybe he a serial killer, hahaha! Then he could be gay girl." Holly you need to stop! You too much! I guess it wouldn't hurt to at least have lunch with him. "Just don't act like a cop on your date and scare this one away. You know you ask too many questions." I'll make sure I leave my job at the department. Now lets dance you know this my song.