Death

Death. It leaves me speechless, for no one understands it. So, I don’t cry or smile. I just keep a straight face and look up to the sky. Something’s there and I know it, but if I uttered a word of my belief I’d get dark looks in my direction. Sure, death comes to us all or so we believe. I have some crazy theories. Theories that cannot ever be said.

Yet, to comfort a friend of mine, I don’t lie, though he’s lied to me many of times. I say what I need to say and say what he needs to hear. He understands me and my crazy theories, though he’s hurting and doesn’t need to hear them all. Has there been anyone in your life that has inspired you so and they just pushed you away? I have a few. Namely, the one I just spoke of. I can’t be the only one who feels this way. He told me to be strong when he left me to defend myself in this hostile city. So I will and I’ll say what I think. I’ll do what I swear needs to be done. I need to save the world. Yet, his eyes come back to me. In his eyes is the pain he’s been through. Death. It changes us all.

Do I help him or help others like him? Is he healed? Can he ever be healed? No, I can’t even speak to him. He hates me and I’m useless in trying to make people with similar circumstances happy. Useless. He told me to stay strong but he pushed me away and said, “Though I’ve seen death, I cannot say I want to see you die. Though I’ve seen death, I must say goodbye.” Death. Should I just kill myself? No. I should talk to him. He saved me in the first place but he won’t listen to me. He doesn’t want me to die, so he doesn’t want to be here with me.

He’s afraid that one day I won’t be strong and there I’ll be, on the floor, lifeless, swarmed by the thousands of people I promised to help. I’ve been strong before and I’ve listened to the words of the my late grandfather. He deserves someone to live his good deeds out for him. Maybe it’s not me. Then again, maybe it is me. I just don’t know. I just want to run away from this world and come back with some answers for everyone! Is that too much to ask for? Does no one else agree that death is a haunting word that can kill the morale in you and the faith you have in others?

One day I’ll have the courage to walk straight up to that boy who I don’t ever lie to and say, “I don’t want to die. I don’t want you to die. It’ll come someday, though. I want you to live a happy life. By pushing me away, you’re losing someone just like you lost your ma and your paw. Will you fight death with me, old friend?” Yes, death is interesting. Yes, no one knows the answers and frankly, no one ever will. Death, however, brings us together in even more interesting ways. I believe that somewhere out there is my destiny and I won’t die until I reach that destiny. To death, fate is no mystery. Why are they both mysteries to us then? Hmm, that’s another topic I should explore for a later date.