My mother knows I love her - Why not you

I have been climbing these steps every weekend for six years along with a very very heavy suitcase.
The flight to London too long and London as always too hectic. Arrived at his place, the usual routine starts. He stands at the door rushes up to me and take me the case off of me. After a brief chat, followed by wild sex in the living room, we relax in his Jacuzzi. Actually it sounds pretty good. And it is aswell – but there seems to be something missing that makes me entirely happy. And the missing thing are three little words. To say “I Love You”, is not his thing. The result of this, is usually a lovely weekend followed by nagging questions I don't dare to ask and the main question: “What am I doing here?”. Therefore I decided that i will find out what this thing between us is and where I stand. I wanted to go to the heart of the problem.

As I cuddled up in my favorite robe, stepping through the much too expensive apartment, Number 1 is waiting for me in the kitchen. I have a quick look into the living room and immediately notice the new curtains, fresh flowers and new laminate. My scanner eyes won't miss a thing.

"What do you want to do tonight?" Number1 asks me happily whilst he tries to force his finger in my mouth to make sure i have a taste of his new selfmade aioli.

”No idea.” I said. I used to be more creative but really, I didn't know what I wanted to do. The aioli was delicious, and I asked for more. He gave me a slice of bread smeared with it and I sat on the kitchen cupboard. He quickly came back between my legs. "Ah, round 2." I'm thinking, but he just kissed me quickly, and suggested a romantic dinner in the fantastic restaurant on the other side of the bridge.

"Why not." I munched on, slid down from the cupboard and went to my suitcase. I quickly got out my new black dress and my high heels. Then I wrapped my curves in a nice thong and a corset. I looked at myself in the mirror and agreed to my choice of clothes.

Then we went downstairs. The taxi was already waiting for us. We got in and soon after, we arrived Christopher. The music was as fantastic as always and the cocktails too. As usual, we kissed and talked. I tried to steer the topic to our relationship and to figure out where I stood. With a glassy 'I am so in love' look in his eyes, Number 1 looked at me and assured me that I knew exactly where I stood.

"We have so much more than I had with my ex girlfriends. I'm happy and I love it when we're together. You are so intelligent, and our sex is great. I like you very much. ". Ouch ... he liked me so much.

Several years ago he told me once drunk, that he would love me, but then took it back the next day. Thus, the subject was done for me at this point, but number 1 only just got started: "I love your lips and your breasts and your eyes are so beautiful. And anyway .. But sometimes I do not understand you. "

" What don't you understand? I love you and I'm telling you it but you don't. Is it all about sex or is there more than that? After 6 years I would really like to know ". Number 1 pulled me even closer to him and looked deep into my eyes. My heart was pounding. Finally he would say the words now... In slow motion I saw his mouth opening and then heard his wonderful voice, "Honey, my mother knows that I love her, without me having to tell her - why do not you."

An express train was racing through my head. Did he really just say this sentence and compared me to his mother? I do not know exactly how my face looked like, but he looked at me anxiously, "Did I do something wrong," I realized that another question was pointless, and I had the answer I had been looking for. Even though I now wish I never asked it. I looked at Number 1 with a smile and said: "No, everything is fine. Let's just go to bed together ... " and went with my hand between his legs ....