I hate My Job

I hate my Job
By Hossam Belal










Hello everyone, my name is Basem Saed which means in Arabic a smiling happy man.
Well dear friends, when you read this you will find out that I do not smile and sure I am not a happy man.
As you all know there is a reason for everything, and the reason of course is my damn job.
Ok, I know most of you might say that I am ungrateful and at the same time should be happy considering the unemployment rate in my country.
I am grateful , I really am , and I thank Allah every second for this job  , but at the same time I can not stop this feeling .. I really hate my job.
You have no idea what I am going through everyday, my salary is high yes but my spirits are so low.
I am a call center guy in customer service department; my company is a major one in providing telecommunications systems.
My job is to answer phone calls from customers who have troubles with their different communication systems.
Every morning I find myself hoping to receive a  phone call from my supervisor ( who is a pain in the neck by the way) telling me that today is my day off or I have been transferred to another department where I get paid without phone calls.

Of course it is just a dream, and that phone call from my supervisor is just a fantasy like being loved by Meg Ryan through the internet.
Anyway, here I am with my headphones, sitting on my desk waiting for my nightmare in daylight to start.
-          Good morning sir, Basem Saed is speaking, what can I do for you sir?
-          Ok, do your job first and then we will think about other things you can do for me you idiot!!!!!!
I said to myself – what a funny pretender in the morning.
-do you have a problem with your connection sir?
- No doubt about that, the connection does not work, do you know why? Because your company is a shit whole which wants to get paid and that’s it.

I know that this conversation is being recorded by my department for my evaluation, so I decided to remain calm and polite.

-          I hope you can accept my apology sir, and I promise you that your problem will be solved as soon as possible I just need to know what the problem is.
-          Listen to me you piece of shit , I am not gonna say the same things I have been saying to your cursed company for the last three weeks, just come and take your shitty equipment back , I am moving to another company.
-          May be you need to think again sir?
-           Go to hell.
He hanged up.
I toke a deep breath and said to myself- what an animal-50 insults a minute.
For 5 hours I had so many calls, I could not count them. To me they were like machinegun bullets hitting my chest and pushing me 3 meters away,

After those 5 hours of countless and ridiculous calls that increased my blood pressure, I received a different phone call, an exceptional one.
-good evening sir, this is Basem Saed, what can I do for you?
-there is a bomb in your building my dear.
- excuse me sir?
He started to laugh like the wicked witch in the Wizard of Oz, I said to myself it is better to hear someone‘s laughter instead of rude insults.
-          I am telling you my dear...there is a bomb in your building.
I was trained well to deal with such situations, but at the same time I was sure that this guy was another clown and this was one of his jokes, so I decided to have fun with him.
-          What kind of a bomb sir?
-          The deadly kind...hahahahaha
-          Who planted it sir?
-          Snow white hahahahaha… of course it was me who planted it.
-          Why sir?
-          I woke up this morning feeling bored that’s why.
-          When is it going to explode sir?
-          At anytime, it depends on my mode, may be now... May after one hour... Allah only knows.
-          How can we defuse it sir?
-          You can not... you need me to defuse it and I am not interested.
-          Ok sir, can you defuse it please?
-          Sure but under one condition.
-          What is it sir?
-          I want you to walk in your supervisor’s office and insult him so loudly and with the rudest words you could ever say to someone.
-          Ok sir, where can I find the bomb?
-          You really want to know?
-          Yes sir
-          I will tell you but remember do not touch it... just do as I told you. May I have your phone number dear?
-          Why sir?
-          To contact you later
-          Its 002299 sir and I will answer
-          Ok , you will find  the bomb in the lady’s bathroom … do not get caught hahahahahah
The psycho hanged up and my shift was over, I was about to leave this mental house when I got a message from my supervisor informing me of a private meeting in his office. This is what I call a terrible ending.

I was so exhausted when I stepped in his office, I did not want to talk but I had no choice so I had to at least listen to his usual crap.

-          Everyday your evaluation becomes a problem, an obstacle against the company’s progress; do you want to be a problem Basem?
-          Of course not sir( in a  sleepy voice  and my eyes were almost closed)
-          Then do your job and be an example.
-          Yes sir.
-          You do not need to know that you are running out of options here, in the private sector you have to be the best or you will find yourself getting kicked out of the game and so many players out there will be happy to replace you, are you ready to be the best?
What a crap!!!! I am dying to get out of here.
-          I promise you sir that I am going to be the best from tomorrow.
-          It is up to you; otherwise you will find yourself unemployed.
-          Thank you for your advice sir.
-          You can go now.
And finally I left my dear supervisor feeling dizzy, I was longing for a hot bath and my nice bed but I had to go to the bathroom first.
I was about to enter the Men's room when I stopped and stared at the lady's room in the opposite direction, I did not know why I stopped and why I thought about that insane bomb guy, I said to myself what if that man was telling the truth and he really planted a bomb there, I can not live with the guilt when I wake up in morning to find myself watching the explosion news, I can not live with the guilt.. Yes I do not like them here but I do not want to be responsible for their death,
I had to make sure, so I changed my direction to the Lady's Room and once I walked in, I found one of the company's pretty girls coming out, she was shocked and I was speechless.
She said in a loud voice; what are you doing here?
I was standing there like an idiot staring at her beauty; I could not find something to say which made the whole situation worse. But to myself I wondered how could I let this beauty gets bombed?
What she did after her question was reasonable, she pushed me away and got out as fast as she could, probably to call the police or something.
- oh it is getting worse and worse , you better find this bomb Basem or they will see you as some weird young man who haunts girls inside The  Lady's Room.
I started to search inside every stall, it was disgusting but the objective was noble, that’s why I forgot the bad smell to save those idiots out there.
-          - Imitating the supervisor (Everyday your evaluation becomes a problem, an obstacle against the company’s progress, do you want to be a problem Basem?

Oh no it is a BOMB, I said it loudly inside the last stall when I heard the ticking sound, the sound was so clear but I could not find it.
- What are you doing inside the Lady's Room Basem?
These words came from behind suddenly, I turned around to find the supervisor and behind him there was a crowd of the Company's crew including the pretty girl.
- Sir, there is bomb down here.

They laughed hysterically but the supervisor remained stunned
- Basem, again, what are you doing here?
- I am telling you sir there is a bomb inside this stall

He walked towards me and pushed me away rudely to search the stall, he could not find it either but the ticking sound was still there.
-Can you hear the sound sir?
- What sound?
- The ticking sound sir, it is a timing bomb and all of us are going to die unless we call someone to defuse it, a military unit or something.
- Shut up … who do you think we are? A punch of fools? We all know why you are here so stop coming up with crazy stories like bombs and tanks because we do not want to hear it... I have always known that someday you will be kicked out of here but I have not realized that this would take place disgracefully and with a scandal.
At that moment, the ticking sound was nothing and I was accused of a shameful act. I had two choices, no, I had one choice... Defending myself … but my defense was totally weak as the bomb is out of sight and the whole bomb idea is too much for them, there was only one way out … I waited for Allah to help me .. It was the only way to win back my dignity again.

I waited while the moments were passing slowly; there was a complete silence after the supervisor's last words and nothing to be heard except the ticking sound which was useless and its convincing power was zero.
Suddenly my cell phone rang; I wanted this call to be from one person only, with a quick move , I pushed the button to the receive the incoming call ignoring the whole crowd around me , actually I did not hear the supervisor's continuous speeches.

-          Hello again dear? So did you find it?
-          Yes I found it you psycho
-          (laughing) you are welcome
-          How can we defuse it?
-          You know how… let me talk to your supervisor… he is there right?
-          Yes and he does not believe me... you have to make him believe.
-          It does not matter dear if he believes or not... what really matter is defusing the bomb, right? That's what you want right?
-          Yes
-          Ok let me talk to him

I handed the phone to my supervisor, he said a few words on the phone to the bomb guy then he handed the phone back to me

The Bomb Guy said; now I am sure he is the supervisor, now tell him what you really think of him and the ticking sound will stop.

-          you are crazy
-          May be but this is what I really want to defuse it, my personal satisfaction will be achieved, no doubt about that.
-          How can I trust a crazy man like you who will stop his terrorist attack because someone he does not know will insult someone else who is also unknown to him?
-          Well, you are right, I do not know you, but how could you know that I do not know your boss? Huh? I think you understand now.
-          Again, how can I trust you?
-          First, you have my word; second you have no choice, and now let me hear what I want to hear fast because my finger is nervous and longing to push the button.

He was right, I had no choice as he said, I was so sure that there was a bomb somewhere in the stall, I do not know, may be because I joined the special forces once or may be I watch  too many action movies or may be  this guy was just playing. but I followed my instinct and made my choice, I faced the supervisor and said the following in front of the whole crowd;
- well , sir , I am compelled to say the following but what I am going to say is the truth at the same time, you are a supervisor sir but you do not act like one, especially with me, your actions towards me are based on emotions not professional reasons , you have recorded my calls today and instead of evaluating every call and discussing it , you gave me a speech from one of Al Pacino's movies , and this is not professional , you are not professional sir , simply you are the wrong man at the wrong place.
The man was stunned for a second, then he smiled saying; I guess now you know where you are going.

- Yes I know... I am fired … but do not think that you are really the boss …because I have just saved your life.
I turned my back to him to speak on the phone again
- Satisfied?
- Yeah man... you really made my day... the bomb is history... it is over.
- thank you... now I am out of job because of you

I hanged up while walking away outside the company.

To be honest, I was so depressed inside, I showed courage in front of those idiots but deep inside I was lost, I am out of job and this something really terrible, the job was a nightmare yes but at least they give me money, I was thinking about my family and what would I tell them, they would laugh at me like the supervisor if I told them about the bomb, why did I take it seriously? There was no bomb, I was just an idiot, my years in the army made me think that  bombs are everywhere... but the ticking sound? There was a ticking sound? May be it was just a clock you idiot …you did not even find it …what a movie freak!!!!!
Suddenly I stopped walking and I said; I should not have left, I should have stayed and insisted on calling the military unit to defuse it ... they rule the country now.. And it is a state of emergency … it is easy to make them come.

So I went back to the company, and the funny thing was finding everything normal in the company, no body investigated the situation … no body called anybody... everything is just fine and all of them are just working, so I screamed like a crazy man saying ; there is a bomb …we need some help.
Of course they tried to get me out but I raised my voice to be louder and louder till the company's president came , I told him the whole story , the man was professional ( unlike some other people) and he toke me and the supervisor to his office where he called the army's hot line .
They came. First the bomb unit then the military police, they came in numbers with rifles and everything... they reminded me of my days in the Special Forces... I prayed to Allah... please Allah make them find the bomb... if they did not find it, I would be the company's official idiot plus I would go to military prison.
It toke them 10 minutes to find it then the Senior Military Officer came out from the stall and said; we found it... but it was defused from outside.
I wanted to jump from joy but I remained cool, then I turned around to find the supervisor helpless against the company's president anger storm.
The supervisor knew that the countdown of his departure has just started and a new professional supervisor has appeared on the horizon, and it was me, the president rewarded me for being loyal and professional... I became Basem the saver of the company(the youngest supervisor ever) and I was the only hero among my co workers who became nicer and sweeter because I saved their lives.
In the end, I learned two lessons, first have faith in Allah, second when someone tells you that there is a bomb, you better believe it

Written By

Hossam Belal