The Misery of “Us”

I missed the person you became.
How did it feel, almost dying?
We were worth saving, together.
Did our promise mean nothing?
We were going to run away together.
Why didn’t you tell me?
You were my best-kept secret.
Don’t you realize I would have joined you?
Back then, we suffered in a good way.
You were never supposed to die without me.


And here it is after some editing:

I missed the moment
when everything changed
when the person I knew
and the person you are
became two separate things.
How did it feel,
almost dying,
putting blade to skin
with such finality?
Did our promise mean nothing?
Live or die, let it always be with you.
Those were your words,
they still hang
where you left them,
the page ripped, wrinkled,
ink starting to fade.
We were going to run away,
hop the first bus going
anywhere but home.
Remember the white house
on the beach,
screened porch
leading to the water,
two rocking chairs
pointed toward the sea
to watch the sun rise
every morning side by side.
This was going to be ours.
You were never supposed to die without me.