AEONIAN ENAMOUR

                                                                                  AEONIAN ENAMOUR

It was the same Canterbury church on the coast of herne bay beaches, where I relish my moments of love with beautiful memories hitting my head like the bells of hall.. This evening I stand in the coast to look back my love "that was with me for six yrs " .. I can't rephrase it again as "it is with me for six yrs" because I decided to look upfront than at the back, I was captivated by his smile when he held my hands for the first time, I did feel there must be some heavenly bodies spinning over our head to get our souls together bonded forever.
My acquaintance with him was very much magnetic. Now in the coast I stand alone with a sobered eyes and trounced heart. "The beach" it looks perfectly beautiful,
I just saw my feet Been kissed by the waves, I curbed my curly hair from swirls of the wind, i felt the cold breeze creating shivers in my lips which made me realize that i miss his caressing way of hugging me inside his black blazers ....I'm in his favorite red shirt with a tag " I'm alone" which definitely justified me... This place hasn't changed much since 2006... Those pink curtains in front of church with 'praise lord' quotes still made me feel the essence of the day 21st dec.... That Friday was the most celebrated day of the week in my life ...
Like an eagles eye I look from up to the depth of my life, thinking will Adam be mine forever ? Adam  ... That's a classy name I would say, that's how he looks too, he is the most bewitching part of my life. My days with him was always cultivating unconditional love, it was like I admired  him everyday as I saw him for the first time, he had some flawless smile that made me naive when I fell into those swooping eyes.
I describe him so much, I love him so much but what is the reason for my sobbing?
Reason for my thirst to feel his lips once before I sign those papers of mutual divorce???

IN 2006

I’m Sylvia, I work with sports management team in Harbledown …. My boss is Adam Lesile who is the manager of this concern, very vibrant, thinks out of murk and a liberal person.
We used to hang out a lot in our off days, those moments  were very normal, I was just me on those days until I saw him moving close to his secretary… then I realised its not just friendship or being colleague.
every day when i get into the lift my first prayer would be adam must not be next to shina his secretary, i get my eyes open wide and peep out of the lift often to check "are they coming together leaving"? people next to me to wonder "omg! is she nuts?" huh that doesnt bother me either, the moment lift stops in our floor i'll be on my feet to his room to feel him before he comes...
but he comes casually and says "hey! sylvy good day"(taps my shoulder lightly), i used to imitate him in my room the way he says "hey sylvy"
its so stylish... i sometime try to say "hey adam" but i ultimately end just sayin "hey" the rest i would have gulped in..
ADAM VIEWS
to say about sylvy... i would say she is like my mom's delicious stew, i can just keep looking at her.. she has a very dignified class to herself, the way she piles her hair in office when she is busy.. i would never miss it.. her high heels creating a clock wise sound had made me want her alot,she wears a black tight skirt with white shirt neatly tucked in, with a very light creamy lipsticks and her beautiful eyes needs nothing but a few taps while seeing me would make me completely sweep off for her..
i wonder alot of times why is sylvy in confusion always when im around her, i thought she is shy, but i never know shina was her great rivalary..
when shina smiles with me i pray syvly shouldnt be around us... because i cant see her magnetic eyes turning ferocious.. but i love her possessiveness..
i hadnt conveyed my interest on her frankly, she always had created wonders in me.. he careless way of walking in the corridor, waiving hand for "taxi" and when she misses it hitting her head and says "crap" and later when she gets a taxi she gives a naughty smile.. i love that she is just one belle i would love to make her mine..

SLYVY.....
I dono how to reveal my concern for him, I was interested in him lot more than my works.. I started pampering him a lot, I started feeling jealous , I felt I was cornered when he moved with that female… then I decided to break the silence..
I called him…. ‘Hey adam …. How r u’?
He said ‘call u up in sometime sylvy’----------------------------------------
I couldn believe that… he disconnected the call…
Fine, lemme not make it tough anymore , he is not interested in me and I must not push it out harder for him.. but I didn’t feel my tears were obviating… I managed to wipe it off with few tissues….
Door bell rings
I rushed off of to the door wiping my tears off, I pulled the door harder in my tantrum..
I was just feeling masochist now, I initially tried to show ambience for coming to my house because that was Adam.. I was silent for a min, I forgot to welcome him inside.. I stood still, then he knocked the door to make me come back to this world from my utopia..
Huh Adam … u were busy? Sorry if I have disturbed u...........................................
'Sylvy don say a word pls I may have to punish u by pulling u closer to me forever and will never let u out of my arms'.. he kissed my forehead, his hands caressed by hair pushing them behind my ears, he whispered into my ears ‘ u r mine, I love u’…
I hugged him badly, now my tears are really unstoppable, I made him feel how much I needed him badly, I wanted to yowl so much for missing him all these days, his presence was creating ripples in me, now I believe stars may come down to my ceiling and smile at me and say ‘ I’m lucky ’
I was wondering how did he know I was into him, I wanted to ask and I did
But “ adam how did u get in here? I mean? Literally”…
I know… I felt it, I saw u couple of times hitting the wall when I and shina(secretary) laughed together in lunch ,I had feelings for u, I thought u might think im nuts, I waited to see some solid reactions from ur pinky cheeks and I  saw them and I couldn’t wait anymore to say it loud that ‘I’m crazy for u..
thats when i felt adam must be a lexorious guy, ya im lucky..i was out of my sequesting thoughts..
from then our life was on bang, we had everything, we had lot of love, we had lot of passion, we were meek in our relationship, we planned our marriage..
adam wanted it rite in canterbury church, because thats were his papa and mamma got married.. we had a panorma about our nuptials, rite from my attire to my sandals, adam decided it.. he was very excited so did i... he got me a white pearl ring as a gift of marriage, he gave my dress design to his fashion mates who were more interested in my dress like him, the way he explained them... "i need a sheer white flowers in the end, with beautiful curls near her neck, tight from upper hip and get her an embellished white stoned heels"(he twinkled at me) u like heels rite! i thought this man is so lovely, i would ask nothing but a place near his heart to slide my head and go to my utopia.....
dec 21st... the day i always wanna live again.. the day i relish for my birth... when i entered the church with all merry holding my papa hands tightly thinking this was a dream day of my life... when i headed closer to my man.. my heart started pounding heavy, i wish this moments never stops and was extremely happy.. my white dress made everyone open their jaw, it was so classy with pearl beads near my neck, as i was few feets away from him he saw me and i could read his lips "u look lovely"(with curled lips)
i just dropped my head down in complete coy, i smiled within myself.. i reached him .we took vows,he was looking my eyes when every word he repaeted, he made me realise that he means what he says.. we exchanged rings,then he lifted my shroud with a very special naughty smile wih a tag "time for bee to work"and  he kissed me... he held my hands tight once i got spree from my papa's tight holding... that was the most celestial moment of my life..
days after my marriage was very weal.. we had couple of fights, hugs, surprises.. it made me feel marriage life is so immaculate ..
but when days moved on  i felt some distance with my adam... my acquaintance with him was facing lack of communication.. he often fled to milan for his contracts with the milan team..
earlier i felt the condition may change, i believed he would have some solid time for me indeed..
i was proved wrong every time..
i longed for a tight hug, every time he returns back he kisses my lips with a tiring sound, that kiss was like a duty of a married man, and it was not the kiss i received from my adam when he kissed me first... that worried me alot.. i couldnt ask him whats wrong because i strongly believed we could fight this traumatic pain somehow..
i waited for my love to return back to me..
i tried not to disturb him, i made him feel comfortable in all his work, he was happy with everything, he never realised i was in conceit.. that added some more peril to our relationship..
one fine day i felt we were steppin into more reliable and responsible life.. the reason is i was  confimed conceived...
i called adam... he said he is hung up in meeting with the sponsors and he 'l meet me in dinner at home and he kept the call.........
i felt like been slapped rite on my face... still i was holding my beguile smile to avoid my tears.. i started home alone..
i was lying in sofa, i wanted to hug him when he enters in.. i was tired.. so laid down with my favorite turtle pillow .. it was ten past half..
i remembered that was the last time when i saw the clock before i shuttered my lids....

the next day morning.............. i was in bedroom with quilt covering me fully, i woke up...
i saw him getting ready in haste... i dono was it the rite time to say him the merry news(for me)... i grovelled slowly... though i was in great tumult i was feeling benedicted to say him that he is gonna become a daddy... i started slowly... ''adam i ve got something to say u, very pivotal... could i take few mins of urs? pls?...
he said " baby, come on! are u pleading to ur hubby for talking?.. go ahead sweetie"..
“i'm so happy to say u... that somebody is gonna share our bed and sneak in between us in 10 months”...
he stopped tying his tie and turned over me," baby! im... im just feeling paradise... i just cant wait to see ur belly sneaking out of ur tight pepe t-shirts"...
he knelt down and held my hips tightly and said " i love u" i don think anybody can compliment me the way u did"...
i held him tight , i felt i hugged him after years, i felt his warmth, his ck perfume, his soft ralph shirt... i missed all this.. i felt why dont these things last always?
he stood up, pulled me closer..." oops! i shouldn be harder anymore, "
held my face closer and he kissed my eyes "wish i see the same brawny eyes in our baby too" and he continued kissing my forehead
" i love u sweetie" and he kissed my lips.... almost after decades i felt him ...
i did feel may be i can wait any longer for his flauntless love.. i kept smiling in coy and hugged him tight ..
it lasted for few mins until he realised he got to rush to office…
I smiled to myself and said “the ostler hits his cavalcade"
From then though I was alone I never really felt sequestered, I started talking to my baby, he or she I named them as “alvy”…
I play with few of the kids in our park, thinking my baby will be one such in few days, i spend lot of time in the hyde park where i watch kids sliding in , throwing sands, fighting, rushing to the ice creams....  it made me feel kids are so fragile and its great to watch them play...
I often checked myself in the mirror to watch alvy growing inside me, I used to convey my thoughts on alvy to adam when we sleep, mostly I babble in slumber so I dono how much he would have taken them seriously
Though adam doesn’t  spend much time with me he never forgets to drop me messages on my diet, he keeps reminding me on my walking, watch out on steps, crossing the signal and his list makes me worried because they were really hard to follow unless he is next to me….
He came for couple of early test I had to take.. they were normal..
I was completing 75 days of my pregnancy, I loved being pregnant, feeling a foetus inside me, which is moving, trusting me so much that I would bring them safe to this world with no harm made me crave more to  touch my belly and I cuddle it, I felt being women is a boon from seraph…. This baby meant a lot to me and adam knows it.. he often talks to me about the failure of our communication and the lack of expressing the feeling about our baby. I felt malice about it, I had no idea when this condition would turn topsy turvy ? I had waited a lot for adam to bounce back into this family or  atleast spare some time that could make me feel occupied..

Present day

But now I feel I waited too much for him, I never regret my love for him, he was really a great of man of clemency… but still he failed to make this relationship more reliable.. my decision may be too worse or too vindictive but I was obstinate about it, the pain he caused was really a trounce in my heart
I had to sign my papers tomorrow, I had sent him notice regarding it..
I received a call the immediate evening from him, but I never want to talk to him, I don’t  want to  lose my grit over him by listening to his voice, as his voice can do all the super natural activity to bind me with him..
I don’t  want to be an obstacle to his effervescent career that was smearing like a rocket in my absence, I wanted all my love for him to induce his career but it turned to be a great tumult.
I never want to bother him, my words on the day I left him would have really hurt him.. I remorse for it, but I stand by my decision to move way from him…. I don’t want to blame him on crackle of this relationship, because it is a crackle only in the relationship not in our love… I will keep loving him, I will keep loving him…



In 2006

It was a very tiring day, I had gone for my check up early that day.. my doctor advised me to stay in hospital as I had symptoms of flu fever, that made me more benumb mentally..
I rushed to home to inform adam about it and I was really scared of the extra medication that I had to take for this flu…
I opened my door..
I saw a letter and recorded message in my phone…
“sylvy  I’m flying to Milan for my final contract sign up
I’l be back home in two days, u take care of yourself
I have asked the security to get u all u needed for the two days
U take your pills..
Love u” …

The same thing was depicted in the letter too..
I just went to my room, I don’t want to cry or feel beguile again..
I felt something was seriously wrong, my sequestered  feeling started to over rule me.. I was listening to the wedding song of mine, were adam was into my eyes, but  I couldn’t get into the mood of that song as alvy was predominant in my thoughts
I kept my hands on alvy, I started feeling the beat of my baby growing inside me, my heart pumped faster when I felt the divinity of being mom, my head was cornered by my emotional turmoil… I forgot my pills I had a glass of milk.
I went to bed but I couldn’t sleep, I felt something was really abnormal around me, something haunted me it was really lacerating. I even thought I was affected by autophobia… I wanted adam to understand this but he expected me to be a prodigy and resolve it by myself…. I couldn’t rest in peace.. I took my sleeping pills to have some sopor ..  time was 11:45am… I took adam’s black quilt and cuddled it and I closed my lids……………
I saw alvy talking to me, mummy………….
“are u saddened because of me”?
“I see u walk alone, I see u brood a lot when daddy is not with you, I know daddy is not spending time with u, that makes u worry a lot, I hear only u talking to me, u say me so much I love u, mummy I love u too..  I know daddy is a good man, I have heard him talking to u when u sleep.. mummy I want to be near your heart , you always hold me tight as I feel you caressing me by touching your belly… mummy you are such a beautiful woman.. I’m waiting to feel your lovely hands  wrapping me tight to give me warmth and love” ………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………


I woke up
Time was 10:23 pm
I really had a long sleep, but I couldn’t get up, I felt hard to breathe, my temperature has gone high, I persistently felt nauseate and throwed up more than three times…
I turned pale .. I called the doctor..
It was late night.. I had to drive to clinic but I cant.. I started to shiver and felt  extremely frozen, I had no sense of feeling in my skin, it was really nauseating
I decided to get some help, I called jasper , younger brother of adam.. he started from home to my residence.. I was really restless, my mind was in deep worrywart
I thought my call may disturb adam so I didn’t ring him up.. but he was ruling my mind completely…
I had severe pain in my stomach, I couldn’t bear it, It was like smearing my flesh and crushing my bones.. I had nothing much to expect except the well
being of “alvy”…..
I was in grief, I sat down in  the couch, I waited for jasper to arrive as soon as possible..
My fear was piling up as I could feel my body failing to fight my incompetence with the disease… I was in complete agony and in pathetic condition..
The door bell rings….
I don’t know how can I manage to walk till the door.. as every step of mine was like heaps, I grovelled somehow and reached my longest destination of my life..
I opened the door……….
That was the last thing I remember..
I fell swooning down.. jasper might have rushed for help….
It was a dark world were I was alone with no one next to me… I heard nothing, I saw nothing.. for a moment I thought I died…………
But I felt the nasty medicine smell entering  my nostrils uninvited…
I opened my eyes…
I was in hospital, the same cotton dress, couple of syringes smearing my flesh, prescription on my cot….
I was feeling too sick honestly..
I searched for jasper…
But I was shocked to see adam standing out….. his presence didn’t make me  happy rather I was too worried…
I saw him, his eyes were soaked in tears, hands covering his face, wiping the tears rolling down to his lips with crushed tissues which is already too wet.. my heart was in pounce to know what really happened?
Leaving thousands of quest in my head I was eager to caress my alvy.. I touched my belly.. I felt something got extricated from me… i was empty..
Why don’t I feel anything?
I couldn’t connect with alvy..
Is he sleeping as I had too much medicines?
I cried “doctor”…………………… I yelled on top of my voice
“Why am I not feeling my baby doc?
I feel so light down
What have you done to me?
is my baby fine”?
but i never got any reply..
instead adam rushed in..
"sylvy ..pls take rest..
nothing to worry.. u got to calm down now.."
"adam what are you bluffing? i dont feel alvy..
i kinda feel empty..is anything wrong pls tel me"
"no.. nothing is wrong sylvy.. pls i don wanna lose my grit, i cant cry anymore" he said
But i flounced alot...
adam started.. "due to excess bleeding, the foetus got aborted..."
"adam... its not foetus... its our baby.. its alvy.. (in deep yowl")
it was a pang in my heart, i held my belly tightly.. i cried till my eyes got dry..
"i failed to get u safe alvy. i aint a good mom.. i decieved your trust.."
it was just like tearing me into pieces..
i know this will be a maul forever in my life... which will kill me from inside..
which will pierce my womb.. my dream about his arrival went into ashes..
i became benumb.. it was wosre than hell, dreaming about a baby and its been expunged without any trace of existence left me hapless and most sinnest person in the world..
why?
why does it happen to me.. i could never face adam..
though its not his fault completely..still  he is also a reason for my wistful life...
i failed to talk to him, even to face him..
he remained in home with me, but that was of no use, i was still in my world of weltschmerz...
it was getting in my head alot.. i felt insane when i kept my hand at my empty abdomen, my tears were useless, my dreams of angel's greeting my baby happened to be in grave... were fox and wolves would walkabout..
i had sleepless nights with haunting thoughts, my night was more painful as i often dreamt about alvy... where I crucified a wingless angel….
Adam’s existence was fading alot...
i spent lot of time in my lawn gazing at the sky with my hands tightly holding each..  shaking my wedding ring in pang..
adam tried to remorse with me.. his concilation was not affecting me ... he knows he had done something that would make him feel guilt off...      he often tried to hold my hand but my heart shirk his love and it made him skulk...
i was dumped in my world of excruciation....
myriad days went in sob, evading his cuddle...
i decided to leave to barton where my parents live... i never said this to adam.. i called mom to inform about this.. she was expecting me alot, before she could ask for adam i confessed that he is not gonna come with me...
i was happy that she didnt put anymore quest on it..
i packed my bags…. I saw adam in lawn with his hands circling the coffee cup..
I took my things for a month but I had no idea to return back … adam was looking at me…
“so u are leaving”?
“not forever” I said..
adam started..
“My presence had made u indignant … but u should know my acquaintance with you is incessant… I don’t know what u have decided.. but you know the great chastisement you can give me is ignorance and your egress… the former you were doing for a year and now you want the latter to be executed…
Don’t do this sylvy”
“adam, don’t take it in pessimistic way, u are a good professional but those skills aren’t enough to build a hail and hearty family..
The nest is broken, to be honest I never felt lewd after alvy got vanished from my life… as u said he might have been just a foetus to u and the rest of the world… but he was my flesh, my blood, my soul, a beautiful gift that was connecting to me though he was not literally talking me… I can easily consummate with u for an another so called “foetus”… but it won’t be out of love but just for my selfishness to bear a baby in my cursed womb… I don’t want to do that anytime…
I’m sorry for what I have been all this days, my silence was always a creating some endless throe in me… I felt every day I have been victimized for ethuanasia..
I don’t want that pain anymore… I don’t know how far I’ll feel relieved when im out of this house were I cultivated the memories of my baby alvy..
But I don’t want u to feel this sequestered feeling because of my clueless presence..
I don’t want  this malignity to build in between you and me in this same house were we made love incessantly… I want you to go ahead and start working on your progression towards your career”…
" i love u and that is why I decided to move".. I said to myself..
the most hardest moment of my life…
my memories of entering this house crossed my head like a fastest lightning..
when adam lifted me in his arms and stepped inside the house.. the walls were crazily shaking in the echo of our laughter…
our coffee together in the midnight after a long chat in our lawn in each other’s lap got vanished like the steam of that coffee..
the way he used to unbutton  my shirt when I tie his collar, his look when I comb my hair, our game of chess with prude bets, frantically to take snap when I sleep, teaching me to swim, kissing in terrace, watching movies, reading jane austen  books, hiding in bathtub, cooking delicious stew.. nothing could never replace those moments, nothing can measure the depth of this painful egress..
my tears were uncontrollable, i couldnt overcome this pain it was truly excruciating my cells and glands...
god...
i cant do this.. give me the power to resist this gallons of throe..........
i stepped out, adam was seeing me from our balcony.. i completely lost my mind, i got into the car with the trounced heart that was heavier than the barrels of poison.....
thats when i saw him last...
i used to get calls from him every week..
but my constant denial to talk to him made him irrefutably stony...
my days rushed in with no mean, i laid down in my room listening to madonna’s "to have and to hold"..
for some reasons i thought this break has made him achieve something..
he became a sole sponsor of the milan team and he merged with many of the most sucessful sponors and attained his effacacious status...
i dont know how far my absence has affected him but he definitely became impentinent... so did i...
I used to see his pictures on my wall, I thought I was holding him a lot.. so I made a decision..
I left him two years back with no idea of whatsoever.. days have piled up..
There will always be a “saturation point”
I think this is it…
I left not just because of alvy..
Its because I could never be happy with a guilt in my heart and with a vacant pang.
I couldn’t be normal, I cant guise to him, I cant satiate his needs as a wife mentall and  physically..
Might be big a decision but I should admit I was in aghast…
I wished he would get a girl who will compliment him every possible way as a wife, but my tag as “wife” might be a hindrance …
I may have decided things on his behalf, without his consult, I know he wouldn’t want this, but I got no choice other than this…..
Lot of days I have spent in my room in his memories, leaving a space for him, constantly I felt he is truly an inevitable person in my life, all I could give him would be extricating him from my benumb marital relationship……


ADAM
i dont want to stop her, i thought she needed some time to get back into her shoes, i wanted her to feel comfortable, i dont want her to lay
back here with killing thoughts of alvy, i always know she can never be wrong, her decisions are more clearer, i trust her, but her egress all of sudden made me feel empty, everytime when i touch her she doesnt revokes it but she is just benumb, i felt she isnt normal, her eyes are always filed with tears and throe, when she brings coffee to me she doesnt even faces me, her eyes are always like the flower that is dropping off, it gave me more embarrassment, but i know she is too sensitive, she had thoughts that i was not into alvy as she does, guess it was wrong, alvy was very pivotal to me as it was for her, a very few are blessed with perfect time to share their thoughts, im hapeless in that case, i had lack of time but it never means i was not thinking about my beautiful baby bearing  baby, it wsa like a wonder for me, i wanted to see the growth of her belly like the phase of "no moon to full moon".. i had a dream to hold her hands gently, make her walk slow with every step counted on coast of herne bay... but everything crashed out like piled up domain cards, giving no clue of existence of what i dreamt or gave a chance to say what i actually had in my cells to depict, i know my lack of expressions made her feel beguilled and my thought that she can handle the situation with a super confidence even "precocious" expectation ended in heart breaking pang of our life... so i dont want to build any converse and make her feel restless, i dont want arguements between us as we always get our minds better i let her go to give her the ideal time she wanted so that she would get back to me as my sylvy... i wait for her return ....

Present
SYLVY
I was in the beach to feel what I felt on 21 st dec, the absolute celestial day..
It was very silent indeed not the same noisy and merry arena..
It was creating a hazy mood, but I know I had great difficulty in accepting this decision of mine because I loved him heaps…
I saw the moon light falling in the water creating a magical spree of feelings, I cried out…
It was the same beach were adam lifted me in his shoulders and dived into the water..
The moon showed our face clearer even in the darkness, we stood still in the water with my hands around his arms , saying how crazy we are for each without speaking much words we spoke to our eyes… it felt like we are in the milky way of the earth’s path leading to the vicissitude celestial world… my lips noted the chaste in his lips were he gulped his lower lip with craving shown to my lips…. The way he curled my hair and pulled me closer to his brawny eyes making me lose my mettle and turned me to be his “Aida” and he would be my “Radames”……
His strong arms turned softer than the shawl, I was in an envisage where I starred at the blue sky as if I wanted its colour to be changed, constant rolling of my lens made some in skulk ,my lips curled with each creating a lewd for his lips but I couldn’t deny the fact I became ambiguous about my brawny denial towards him.

Those moments were creating some recreation in me, causing some tumult and made me remorse.. I hid my hands  into my blue jean to feel warmth..
It was sheer silent  all over… Adam’s portray kept crossing my mind..



“We can’t forget this place, is it”?
A swooping voice reached me from behind
Even before I turned I know its my Adam
It was him indeed
He was in a white shirt with top two unbuttoned,
hands folded till joints ,
Blue jean with his fist inside pocket (just like me)
he walked towards me...
i wish he was paralysed so that i dont have to control myself...
He still has that mesmerizing smile, the same eye with glossy hazel lens craves the one who comes in contact with it..
He wore a specs with rectangular shape which added more meek to his look
“I would keep admiring him,
If I was a sky above his head ,
I would follow him till dawn
And I wish my day is just till dawn”


Adam thinks
She is same old classy sylvy…
Her curly hair waiving in the wind can make anybody crazy,
Her light pink lips with no luscious added to it makes it look just like the juniper juices over cherry,
Her broad open eyes with beautiful bends in name of eyebrows made her look like the most celebrated seraph ever…
Nothing can measure the depth of my hearts crave for this female who is just so elfin..
I could never feel conceit to her.. she can make me surrender to her, my chauvinism will never be born if her eyes was my maternity point..

But still why I must leave her?
Why is this divorce?
Why this incessant pang in both our hearts?
I had no chance to talk to her in this two years,
Now I have it..
But we have just 14 hours left to be as husband and wife…
She won’t be anymore  Mrs . Lesile..
I don’t know what she is thinking..
But I could read her eyes..
She is still my sylvy by heart
Her haughty towards me had made her to reach this extent
she is a missile by herself to check how far she can fly against me
but she failed to  realise that I will be her sky, how long may her journey be
i will be her ultimate destiny"

SLYVY....
"yes... we can never forget this place"..
i dropped my head down and turned back to hide my tears
i was thinking what is happening, his presence was a real concilating
his eyes was reading me alot, i could see nothing but the blue sea raising high in darkness...
so i started to talk....
how are u? i asked
"i'm good sylvy"("sylvy" sounded very low)
you can still call me "sylvy " i said..
"mmm... that is so generous about u"
so how are u? he asked
"im fine... i hope"
we saw the moon glowing
making our face more perspicuous to each..
may be i was too incredulous thinking what he is upto.
we both maintained a distance and we were trying to hide our nostalgia
he started..
"i taught u swimming here, u were feared to jump in...
i asked u "do u trust me"?
u just held my hands and got in and said "now u trust my trust "?
i couldnt say anything i kissed u.. u smiled and slided ur head in my shoulder in naive"..
i visualized everything as he said... it was creating a masochist feeling with  enrapture.. my heart pounded for such a moment again.. i couldnt avom it..
i saw him...
his eyes were filled with tears, with his lips shivering in pang..
i bit my lips and a tear rolled down my cheek,
"no.... sylvy... don't..."
u shouldnt shed a tear anymore.. i cant anymore watch u excruciating yourself, i had spent a lot of time in haggar thinking i had casket u alive...
i was left in hell with ur memories to spree me often from my daunt dreams..
u dont know the impact u have created in me, u decided to leave me with no consideration from my end, i thought u would return sooner or later, but never expected u wanted my egress forever.. if my exit would give u blithe or give u everything what u have lost i would grovell for u.. but tel me u dont love me anymore, tel me u dont need me anymore i will leave u now..
i never deny the fact what happened was a serious crash out of our embellished life, but u never gave chance for me to express, i never know why u thought i would lead a peaceful life in your absence, sylvy u forgot? do u think my happiness is beyond u? how could u come to a conclusion so easily? is our love , our craze , passion was so easy to erase? i never stopped u when u left me, its not that i cant but i thought u would need me when u really want me, my absence may also give u some spree of hard feelings, i cant let u go so easily, because i had loved u incessantly slyvy.. i waited for ur return sylvy.. but u were irrefutable, i know your heart would pounce for my hug, but u are too  hard to confess, u dont forget that we are already married look into my eyes and tel me u hate me, u want to do this seriously, u dont want to fight with me? u dont want me to teach u swimming? play with your silky hair?... i expect nothing but u confess that u still love me.. i will leave u with no further demand or quest to make u sullen... but sylvy u are the most beautiful part of my life, u are inevitable, though u humiliated me by denying to talk to me or meet me i could never hate beacuse u taught only to love and not to hate, if u could me to teach me that i will do that too.. he strongly looked into my eyes and eased me off.

SYLVY...........
my head was going for a toss.. i couldnt deny him, i cant hate him, i cant miss him, i cant lose his love which  i had lost for these many days because of my amuck attitude, i know he did a mistake which had created an intense pain in my life.. absence of alvy in me was like "a beautiful dream of my life" being fired off, but my absence to Adam  was like "the beautiful life " itself has been fired off...
i turned towards him, i started to whisper...
"i dont want to miss u, im urging to live those days again with u, i cant hate u, u didnt hate me even after my obnoxious behaviour, how could i hate u when u havent been vindictive towards me, kiss me now to stop my egress"
my voice was very low, he probably wouldnt have heard anything...
he turned my side
sylvy "this is my last page, i waited for this day, i known now why i was living for all these days, just to hold ur hands close to my heart and that would me make stronger than anything, ease all  my pain, cross the sea with newly made boat.. in the middle of the sea we would make love and i would die in ur eyes to be born as ur kid"...
he pulled my hands and he cuddled me like the a baby caressing our face without knowing, i was feeling what i'm when he is around me.
i thought i was born to feel this moment, i closed my eyes, his fingers wiped my tears, he cleared my hair and whispered in my ears "my fascination for u will never end and its fathomless, i love u" and he hugged me like i'm his blazers..
i hid myelf in his heart with an intention to never retrieve, i couldnt reach his ears  easily as he is way taller than me, i struggled  occult, but he gave me no pain, he lifted me gently by hugging me, making me reach his ears...
"u redifined my life, i have come out of murk, i surrender as who i'm, nothing makes me more suave when im with u, i wont talk to the moon anymore saying how much i missed u, my heavy heart turned lighter than the feather, u made me understand we can never hate the one we loved what ever they have been beacuse our heart is the most fragile machine, it has "one way ticket to the world of love where u can live or get lost but can never retrieve back, i was lost for somedays, now u found  me.... what else i can say "i love u".........
we hugged each indifintely as if we would never hug again, we hadnt talked why we were apart, why we went to the extent of terminating our relationship, but we realised its hard to survive without each other...
i felt the song "could i have this kiss forever" ringing in my head, he pressed my hands tightly and let his fingers in between mine and  said "ring"
its the thing which i saw immediately after i saw u"
i smiled..." so u didnt see my eyes?"
"if i had seen it, i wouldnt have flipped my eyes anywhere else"
i kept looking him
"shall we get to home, its getting too irrefutable now...
we got into the car...
"he lifted me again in his arms and entered inside our home, it was like living the most beautiful dream again"























                                                                                                                             



{/b}