I Will Have You

My life has never been easy, though I consider it blessed.
My memory is of raging storms that rent our family
Like the destruction of a tornado in a city block.
Fragmented like the rubble, wondering if we'd ever be whole again.

It was about surviving and trying to make a better way.
Be strong, don't show your weakness.  Don't let them see you cry.
So I never did. 

The future revealed damage no one could see.
I was fragile, frail, fearful.  Too much loss, too much doubt.
Perhaps if I were perfect no one would leave again.  I would be enough.
Just to be loved for me was all I wanted, but I would take what I could get.

They continued to fall away, one by one.
Has to be me.  Have to make myself better to keep them.
And still I had no true love, I was invisible to every man.
What's wrong with me?

Until one day the mouse wheel stopped, abruptly, painfully.
God said, "No more, my child.  You are mine.  This must end."
I could see that my doubts were not of me, but of evil.
They were demon voices torturing my broken soul.

Into my life he placed angels, otherwise known as friends
Who gave Satan a sucker punch and spoke love on my life.
No longer was I a piece of refuse, rejected by the world.
Now I am a precious friend.

So, my life may not be filled with excitement or fame,
But I have been touched by God's love sent through His people.
I look forward to the day He sends me the one to be my Love here.
Until then, I will wait and anticipate the future.

Precious friends, I hope you know how much you mean to me.
You saved me from myself and my fear of storms.
No matter how those voices rage, storming through my life,
I will have you.


For D&DA, P&LC and DC.  I am forever grateful.