Mist

It was like mist. Nothing like rain, no hard heavy droplets driving downwards against your skin. It seems light, completely nonthreatening until you’re covered in it, and then it’s a second skin. Pushing everything else under the surface, hiding it even from yo"I need to talk to you." Such simple words, as non-threating as any others, but from our mum life altering. I leaded against my sister where she sat at the table, offering her what comfort i could.

"Sure Mum, what is it" My voice sounded almost casual, flippant, as though cheerful tones could lift the mist and make it fly away. Not Mum, she was the casual one, the free thinking, flower wearing, lost in her own mind most days. She wasn't one to plan things, not with us, and she wasn't the kind of person to have that tone in her voice.

"So... I mean your grandparents are getting older... of course they're fine," she added, noting my alarmed start. I could hear my heart in the breaks in her voice. She wouldn't face us, fiddling with the tea-towl behind her. "If they... when they pass away... i know you two have your commitments but..." She turned, giving us a fleeting glimpse of the tears streaming down her face while she blinked desperately, trying to regain control of her voice. "But... would you two umm, want to come down for that? Ummm... If..." She lost it again, shaking her head. The silence was hammering, pounding into each of us. Accusing us for not speaking, daring us to challenge it and say something, anything. I caressed my sisters head as if that could fix things, change mums tears... Mum didn't cry.

"Of course I'd come down Mum, they're my grandparents." My voice was too loud for the room, filled with false bravado. Sasha nodded against my hand.

"We'd be there." she echoed, her voice small as i ran my fingers through her hair, wishing i could protect her.

"I just... wanted to be sure... because, well when the time comes... i wont be..." She swallowed visibly, her voice trembling. "I won't be there for you guys." She stood and walked out of the room to the back of the house.

My hand stilled against Sasha hair as the silence leapt back into the room, making us more and more aware of how that tiny sentence had made us. She quivered, "Kady?" she whimpered. I kissed the top of her head.

"It'll be fine." Mum's tear streaked face swam in my mind, it was wrong, everything about this was wrong. "Absolutely fine sweetie." I promised soothingly, and the mist clung even closer to my skin.