Never proud

Letters to my Mom:

What did I do to you?

Is what I do not true?

Don't I always tell you I love you?

Then what did I do?

I make you mad

Every single day

Without any reason

What did I do to you?

You have never been proud

My life is full of twists and turns

But, of course you are my turn

Twisting hate into my heart

Engraving words of blood

Into my mind

Make the words keep spinning

Make the hate keep coming

Learn to listen,

To someone other than you

For just a second, please,

Dear mother,

Make me know why I'm hated

Why are you never proud?

Why do I cry at night?

Why do you make me cry?

Am I not good enough?

Am I a mistake now?

I am sorry, dear mother

For any pain I caused you

For any tears I made you shed

But, my heart has always bled

And it will continue

Till the day I die

Because the tears you never see me cry

Makes me wonder

Why you are

Never proud?

Leave it to me to make you cry

Give me a break, please

I'm doing everything

Just to put your mind to ease

But you don't seem to care

So why not stop and stare?

With those eyes that hate

And that look that gives me tears

The voice, the voice, oh, the voice!

Make it stop for a minute

For a second, please, stop!

I love you, Mother

But, why, why do you not love me back?

What is it that I lack?

I serve Jehovah proudly

And make life easier  for you

But you hate me

Why, why?

Why are you never proud of me?