A lonely Winters Night

Standing under a streetlight and falling snow at 3a.m....
I can't help but wonder,
'Did we bring this on ourselves?'
'Does the death of all we've come to love in the summer mean that a new season will be better?'
'Is this death necessary to start anew?'
Some say that 'We' make our own destiny.
Others that we are merely victims of circumstance.
Is the winter meant to show us the harsh cruelty of our mother?
I can't help but let the cold in.
Let it flow through my veins like the blood that keeps me bound to this life, tethered like an astronaut, long dead without air, to an asteroid headed straight for the sun.
The cold, stinging like insects infinite in number, numbs my skin like Novocaine injected into my temples.
To my knees I fall, crying, thinking only of the death of all that I've loved.
Did I bring this on myself?
Can I ever make this OK?
Answers being sought in vain it seems.
Yet there it is.
Hope.
Hope I had long since thought dead in my heart and a pestilence rotting me away, eating at my soul, plaguing my dreams, and robbing me of the happiness I, for so long, thought would never be mine.
A hope that brings her smiling face to mind and I smile at the thought, not sure if I'm just OK with Death's cold fingers sinking into my veins or if her is the means by which I will find the strength of Gods in me.
I focus.
My strength returns.
Aerith
my beautiful daughter.
You are everything that is good in me.
I brought this on myself.
I can make it OK.
I have the strength.
I have the will.
I stand.
Alone.
No.
By myself but Never Alone.
I wake.
Safe.
No more cold.
No more darkness.
Too much of the bad, not enough of the good.
I'd let it all go if only I could.
But then I see your gorgeous little smiling face,
and in the warm sun, I have found my rightful place.