Lil Wayne Goes To War

Lil Wayne Goes To War



It was shocking to say the least, news of the bill circulated for months,speculation, outrage, anger, all of the above bombarded the internet and gossip shows but there was no need for gossip and speculation anymore. The President addressed the nation with a mug as stoic as ever, and announced the signing into law that bill, hauntingly named three strikes and you are in. He explained how three time losers would automatically be eligible for draft into the ongoing war in Afghanistan. Morale was at it’s lowest, troops were depleted, and the U.S. needed a jolt. Obviously the next best thing in the minds of the circle in charge
was to send those degenerates of society who could not exist among us normally, to ship those we considered rejects, and outcast off to do battle. In a hurry to replenish numbers on the front line, the small print on the dotted line was never read carefully by our commander-and-chief before putting his stamp of approval on the bill, and now standing before a crowd of millions and a television audience of millions more, he would have to not only announce plans to ship off hard core felons, but nonviolent criminals with three charges or more.  These were men with misdemeanor drug charges, not dealers but addicts and users who will now be defending our country. The entire thing was a major debauch ale maneuvered by the GOP, and  rich blow hearts who wanted nothing more than to see the population of young African American men dwindle. If it had been up to some there would have been even stricter guide lines placed in the law that would have meant more young men with some jail time, even lesser charge’s going off to war.

The President slowly checked off each portion of the now ridiculous law, refusing to take questions from reporters who clamored seeking answers for this tragedy. One reporter who could not contain himself any longer butted into the President’s speech, yelling at the top of his lungs.

“Did you know before you approved this bill that it would include nonviolent offenders, even some with misdemeanor charges? Mr. President, did you know that this bill will make it possible to send one of the worlds’ most talented rappers to war? How would you feel if Lil Wayne was shot and killed on your watch?

The President paused mid sentence for a second and then addressed the reporter’s questions.

“I am making swift moves to have this law amended or either vetoed, I did not know of the extra provisions placed in the bill by my Republican counterparts, yes it was foul and I will see it changed. In the mean time it is a bill that has been passed into to law and has to be abided by. I regret to inform you all the first lottery selection has been finalized already and Mr. Lil Wayne was one of the first one thousand names chosen to be sent into battle immediately. When the new troops will be shipped off, I am not sure but I do not think the bill can be amended before they are deployed, so yes Lil Wayne will see some time in Afghanistan.  I was able to make contact with the award winning rapper this morning and can tell you he was a little shaken, he recalled having his gold and diamond teeth removed when he went to prison and does not want to have to do that again. He is though ready for war or quoting the young man, Unhhhhh, let’s go get it shawty. I was informed that he will report to the military base there in Texas within the next few days, as of right now he is in an undisclosed location finishing up the last of three war albums with one hundred and seventy-two track a compilation that will be called, Osama On The Menu. Until we can get him home I will be rocking my gold grill in support, and will be putting out my first single in two weeks called GOP/SOB, self explanatory. I truly think Weezy can handle it, after all he did say that Cash Money was an army, better yet a navy.”

“That is all for now.”

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