Friday is Just Another Day

They say that your kids pay you back for what you did to your parents. Since I never had children of my own, only twelve years of classroom students, my mother seems to be trying to fill the void. She's being difficult, possibly on purpose.

Days pass, and the passing of days with no difference, no change, no word, no second-hand word, makes me feel like I need to do something. Some doctor told me once that when I start feeling pressured to do something, odds are that I should do nothing.

The rule is that I may leave a message on the answering machine at her house if I wish, and she'll leave me a message on my machine if she has something to say. Up until that point we'd managed to have civil three minute conversations. As soon as I asked about her caretaker, she insisted on changing the subject, because it's now none of my business. I think what started her this time, was that I got upset because she'd removed me from being her medical power of attorney. I'm an only child, and she removed me from the position and replaced me with her caretaker of six years.

Vivian visited Mom at her home earlier this week, and the two of them assured me that the document with Vivian's name was destroyed and that the old one, with me as medical power of attornery, was again in place.

I paid an Internet attorney site for a new document, which contains both my name and Vivian's, but I haven't brought that into the picture yet. I sent her a greeting card that she should receive today, and I included a note that we needed to talk. But she has to be in control. She only will hear me say what she wants to hear. Her brain has suffered some oxygen loss of late. The last two times we were on the phone, she kept hearing clicking, and she asked me if the phone was tapped.

I think she ran off all of her caretakers, but she told me that she'd arranged to have nurses with her overnight. She's told me blantant lies of late. She thinks she's dying, as in the last stages of congestive heart failure, and she may be.

In the last week she's twice threatened to call the cops on me--in order that she could send me to the psychiatric hospital. She did that once before by trapping me in her backyard. and calling for an ambulance, and telling them I was bipolar. They wouldn't listen to me at all. I was gone about a week. This time there's no reason, except that she's finding me an irritant. I that case, what can I do but let things be?

I drove past her house at 4:00 am this morning, and there was no caretaker's car there. She's staying by herself, and she shouldn't be. And she's damned and determined that I can't or won't do anything about it.

God will give me some idea before the day is over with. Now's not the time to be playing with each other's emotions.