working through the pain

Working through the pain.

I close my eyes and I am there
I am in a place I consider to be rare
I close my eyes and I can smile
Smile because I'm in a place where pain isn't the trend in style
I close my eyes and I pause in time
Forgetting this comfort could be gone at the drop of a dime
And with that thought that place is gone
I remember that in his plan I'm just a pawn
A pawn to his eternal cravings
Causing my life to unravel like my pencil shavings
My tears and blood mix with sorrow
Holding on to the thought of a better tomorrow
Trying to keep my dreams of a new life afloat
But the memories hold me in like a heavy winters coat
I try to move in the right direction
Attempting to make positive connections
Some days are good but many are bad
Leaving me to feel lonely and sad
I try to move on but wonder where to go
How do I recover from this recurring low
The physical pain has come to an end
But to believe that is all just pretend
The emotional pain is just as physical as the act
And the pain reliever is never exact
All I can do is hold onto my dreams
And hope life won't always be as painful as it seems
Until that day I will close my eyes and smile
Hoping all this work is going to be worth while