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by Kat Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ · Campfire Creative · Fiction · Friendship · #1855179
Writing a story and need help I would like to get some idea's and opinions on my writing.
[Introduction]
Alice 16 leader and Gather
Mary 13 Gather
Sam 9 Gather
Tony 15 Gather
Jack 17 Pit Pocket
Spooks 10 Pit Pocket
Frank 11 Pit Pocket
Joker 16 Pit Pocket
Johnny 18 Stealer
Jake 16 Stealer
Jim 14 Stealer
Tom 5 Sweet Talker
Luffy 6 Sweet Talker
Mack 7 Sweet Talker

Gather - Good at gathering and finding things
Pit Pocket - Can steal things right out of peoples Pockets as long as there small
Stealer - Can still fairly large items ( books, batteries, blackets, pillows ect.)
Sweet Talker - Can talk just about anyone into giving them something. (money, food, toys, ect.)

* means action
- means talking

Alice, Jack, Jake, and Johnny share a room.
Tom, Luffy, Same, Frank, and Mack share a room.
Joker and Tony share a room.
Jim, Mary, and Spooks share a room.
Alice likes Jack
Johnny likes Alice

In New York deep within the city. A young girl named Alice brings together a group of orphans who have abondoned the hope of getting a real home.

Alice *walks into a back ally, pushes a blanket side ways that is hang on a wall and joins Johnny, Jake, and Jack at an
old beat up table. Sits down next to Johnny*
- How's the food supply?
Jack - To low, and Tom is complaining of a stomach pains.
Alice - How's are medical supply?
Johnny - gone, finished it off last week.
Alice * slams fist on table*
- Damn ... Can we risk going out today?
Jake - Stealers can't cops have been crawling round.
Alice - What about Pit Pockets?
Jack - It'd be risky but were not to obvious.
Alice - What about sweet talkers?
Johnny - Yes, but Tom must stay home. Weak links could cost the group.
Alice - All right the stealers will stay home tonight watch over Tom. Jake go round everyone up and meet us in Tom's
room
Jake - All right meet you there
Alice - Johnny walk with me.
*Walks out or meeting room*
Johnny * Follows Alice out of room*
Jack - I'll just tally up the supplies I guess
Alice - Johnny I'm going to be leaving for a while. There's been talk on the streets about the Orphanage near here
abusing the kids.
Johnny - How many you gonna get out of there?
Alice - As many as will come with me. You know as well as I do that this life is difficult, and the prospect of living
on the streets is frighting.
Johnny - How long you gonna be gone?
Alice - I don't know, Hopefully no more then a week.
Johnny - You plan on taking someone with you?
Alice - I haven't decided yet.
*Stops at Toms entrance*
- I will tell you during the meeting.
*Walks into Tom's room and sits next to him*
-Hey Tom, how you doing?
Tom *looks at Alice*
- My stomic hurts.
Alice - I'm sorry, I will try to get something for the stomach pain okay.
Tom *Nods and closes his eyes*
Jake *Leads Mary, Spooks, Sam, Frank, Luffy, Mack, Jim, Tony, and Joker into Tom's room.*
Jack *Enters room shortly after Jake and hands Alice the supply list*
Alice * Stands up and walks to center of room.*
- Alright guys were low on food and medicine. I have been informed that stealers can to go out today so you
guys will stay here and watch Tom. So sweet talkers, Pit Pockets, and Gathers will be heading out. On
another note I will not be returning right away. I need to go down to the orphanage int this area and try to
save a few.
Mary - What?!, No! We barely have enough food as it is.
Jim - Yeah, we need to eat to.
Alice - I don't know where you are getting the notion that they will be doing absolutely nothing. You all know that if you don't
pitch in you don't stay. Now Jack and Jocker will be going with me. Johnny will be in charge until I come back. Mary
you will lead the Gathering party. Mack you know the rules back before dark, and Frank you are in charge of the pit -
pockets. Mary and Frank you are in charge of these party's until I get back.
*leaves with Jack and Joker*

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