The Mad and the Mundane

The Mad and the Mundane



If someone had told me 27 years ago, when I was 21 and getting married, that I'd be separated from husband after 26 years of marriage, I'd have told them they were lunatics.  I wouldn't have believed a fortune teller either.  No, at 21, I thought I knew it all, had it all.  We had a beautiful new house with a very reasonable mortgage.



I had a good job and my fiancee and I had the whole wedding booked and planned in August to get married April 26th, 1985.



And so I thought he was my hero taking me from a home where I had been abused all of my short life.



We decided then that our particular method of contraception wasn't that reliable.  It was the basic 'pull out fast' technique because Daniel (not his real name) didn't like wearing condoms.  He said it was like swimming with wellington boots on, so I agreed.



I made an appointment to see my doctor in October 1984.  I asked him for the pill and he gave me 6 months supply with strict instructions to begin taking them on the 5th day of my next period.  I felt so grown up and responsible.  Daniel had a good job at the time too and he had given me the most gorgeous diamond cluster ring, the envy of my friends, at the time.



Daniel's marriage proposal was so bad that I actually felt sorry him and amused so I said yes.  I was in work the day he proposed.  This was before mobile phones or the internet so what did was go to a public phone booth near his work and he rang me.  I was amazed because it was the first time he had ever rang me at work.  The conversation went along the lines of him saying, "Hiya, hows it goin?" "Grand, says I". "Is it Christmas or something that you rang me out of the blue"?  "Nah", he said, "I was just wondering , do you wanna get married or what?"  I was dumbstruck for a minute and then I was doubled over with laughter.  Finally, I caught my breath, and I told him, "yeah", "why not?".  "That's grand so" he replied. "See ya tonight". And that was it!  Certainly no a marriage proposal I had ever dreamed of but I knew he was shy and it endeared me to him.



Anyway, getting back to the pill, October ended and I waited to start taking the pill, 5th day of my cycle.  November passed.  December passed, January and still no period.  I wasn't worried about being pregnant.  As far as I was concerned Daniel was a skilled master at the 'pull out' technique.  I put it down to wedding jitters, being busy all the time, getting the house ready etc.  I was so stressed by all the minute details  of preparation for a weddding. Flowers, singer's, limousines.  So much to do that I actually felt sick every morning.  I could not even look at the bowl of cornflakes, my dear dad had prepared, without rushing to the bathroom and being sick.  And then strangely enough, every day after work, I had to have mandarin oranges and popcorn. I would have maimed or killed for them and my stomach was getting bloated because of that too.



I couldn't fit into my jeans.  Pregnancy didn't even occur to me.  I considered myself an intelligent woman.  My job involved a lot of responsiblily.  I was the only worker in  the office fo the Furniture Stores.  I was receptionist, book-keeper, wages clerk, invoicing and sales person.



But it just happened that one morning I got sick in the bathroom and when I opened the door my mother was outside, waiting for me, with rage in her eyes.  She slapped me across the face, yelling "you're pregnant" as she did so. Also she added a few choice words, like slut, whore and that she was going to disown me.  She probably would haven beaten me to a pulp had not my father intervened.



You see, she worked in a canteen in a car sales dealership part-time, but she had always been gone to work before I came downstairs to go to work.  She started work earlier than me.  I had made up my own starting time.  It varied from 9.45am to 11.00am.



So back to the doctor I went and explained about missing periods, feeling sick in the mornings and the weird cravings at night.  He asked for a urine sample and told me he was sending it to be tested and to ring him in 3 days.  The longest 3 days of my life and as for Daniel, well, he was on the verge of a nervous breakdown.  "This is going to f*** everything up if you're pregnant" he said.  "There's two of us in this", I replied.



I knew Daniel didn't want a baby for 6 years at the very least and I was more worried about him than myself.  I prayed, oh, how I prayed that I wasn't pregnant.  Every church I passed, I went in, and prayed "please Jesus, don;t let me be pregnant just this time.  I'm getting married in 2 months and I have my wedding dress made.to measure and my mother will kill me".



The third day came and,on my lunch break, I made that fateful call to my doctor.  He told me the test was positive. Naively, I asked, "positive I am or positive I'm not?".  The doctor laughed, "you're pregnant and I'm making an appointment for you to have an ultrasound scan to how far along you are".

I think I said thanks. I hung up and looked down at my swollen stomach and I stroked it and telling the tiny person inside of me that Daddy would love it too.



'Daddy' was off that day and had arranged to meet for lunch.  I had told him that if I was pregnant, I would cross the road opposite to hime , cos I couldn't bear telling him face to face.  So I started to walk up the road at lunch,  and sure enough, there was Daniel walking warily towards me.  I couldn't help but smile, but when I crossed the road, all hell broke loose.  He was banging his fists against the wall, cursing and swearing.  After about 10 minutes he calmed down and resignedly called me over to him.  He hugged me, "we'll still get married in April", he said.  "You can get your dress let out, wear a corset". "You're skinny, you'll get away with it"!  "Thats why your boobs got so big" he said.  "I suppose thats one consolation!."



Typical man, well maybe, just typical Daniel.  The day of the scan arrived and we went together and when we saw our fully formed tiny baby, lying with its ankles crossed, as if in a hammock, we were overjoyed.  The Ultra Sound technician then said that my due date was July 17th.  I asked her could she tell me the probable date of conception and she said October between 7th and 14th.  And I just looked at Daniel and laughed.  How ironic the when I went to the get the pill, there was already an embryo growing inside me, probably laughing at the absurdity of it all.



Well it changed everything.  My mother was so angry.  I was the bastard-carrying whore and she wanted me to cancel the wedding and put the child up for adoption.  Daniel's mother told him it was his fault for taking advantage of poor innocent me and she reassured me that I could get married without anyone guessing I was 6 months pregnant.  The dreaded corset was mentioned again and I complied.



The house took shape, the wedding plans were as good as ever.  I avoided my mother like the plegue and wore loose sweaters to disguise my growing bump and stroked it lovingly and was thrilled when I was fitted for a C cup Bra!  I'd always beeen just an A cup.  Score!!



The wedding day came.  Everything went according to plan.  My dad was proud to walk me upt the aisle, passing by my seated mother, who looked at me with venom.  Dad handed me over to Daniel. Daniel commented on how weird I looked with make-up as I'd never worn it before, and I told him that the baby had kicked for the first time delightedly. "Good", "now shut up, we're getting married". My Pince Charming!



The wedding reception went very well.  I sang a soppy love song to Daniel and he did the same for me.  We ignored the constant crying of my mother as best we could and danced the night away with our friends.



Baby Jessica, was born on a Friday, at 12.57pm, 12 days early and I realized yet again that this baby was too smart and devious for her own good.

Because the day before her birth, I had bought an expensive wedding dress to go to my best friend's wedding on the Saturday to come.

No, Jessie had foiled my plans yet again and we adore her and the following 4 more babies to come.



Happy days!  Now I live alone and they're all grown up but I wouldn't change on single thing.



The End.



Julieanne