Dierdre's World

Papa said I was his most precious creation. As soon as I woke up all I could hear were screams.

Pain. Suffering. Denial. Rage.

I would walk around and look in the tubes with figures. They don't look like me. They were missing pieces, or had extra pieces, or only part of pieces. Papa said I look like a little girl. But I have furry ears, and a tail, and spikes on my arms, and spikes on my head that curl above me. Papa did not. Do little girls look like this?

Papa said I am a hunter. A killer.

What does kill mean?

Papa said the figures are my brothers and sisters. I don't like getting close because the screaming gets too loud. I'm scared of the room with my family.

The lights here are cold. Is there warm light somewhere? Papa is cold. His smiles are like stone. I want to see a smile like the machines when Papa leaves them on too long.

Papa said I need to eat food. It is gray, and feels weird. It isn't biteable. I cut my lips and tongue because I have longer teeth. Papa called them fangs. I liked the color of my inside liquid, Papa called it blood. It is so different than white and gray, but I don't like the taste, and it hurts.

Blood. Kill. It's ugly. Papa is ugly and I cry a lot because I want him to smile. Tired machine smile. But he is like the floor deep in the home.

It is wet down there. Dark.

Papa said to not go down there, but I wanted to.

The screaming is dull down there.

I found something. He is bigger than me, with fur all over his body. He has four legs. His ears are like mine. His tail is like mine. He has a long mouth that has fangs like mine, but it pushes forward out of his face. His nails are longer, and sharper than mine, but my fingers are longer than his. I can bend mine and grab with them. He has spikes on his head. He says they are called horns and his name is Cainus.

He says Papa broke him, and used him to make me. Cainus is white, but beautiful. He lets me hide in his warm fur to sleep. He tells me of places he has seen, with beautiful things called flowers and trees. How there are other creatures that would like me and others that would try to eat me. He says he wouldn't let them.

Papa said to stop being stupid when I asked him. Outside is a barren, dead world. I don't know what dead means. Or world. Is this my world?

Papa tried to take me away from Cainus one day. So I hunted him. I bit his neck and didn't let go until he stopped moving. His blood was the same color as mine, but it tasted good, and it was warm. My tail wagged for the first time. The screams turned to laughter.

I know what kill means.