With A Song (sample chapters)

Chapter 1
         It’s hard to lose a best friend.  I didn’t mean death or moving away.  I meant it’s hard when you still see them every day in the hallway, and the person they’ve become is completely different than the person you once knew.  That was harder to endure than if they just completely left your life.
         As I looked at my former best friend, Beth, standing at her locker with her popular clique, I couldn’t believe that she could forget about me so fast.  It had been a month, and I still didn’t understand.  I walked past her without attempting to make contact, just like I always did. 
         Without her, I had no one to talk to in school.  I used to have friends, but in high school Beth and I grew so close that we sort of shut everyone else out.  With my new hindsight, I realized how stupid that was. 
         Before going to class, I stopped off in the bathroom by the gym.  No one was in there; there never was because half the time the toilets were broken, so I had some privacy as I stared at myself in the mirror.  Was I really so terrible to be associated with?  I wore normal clothes.  Today was just jeans and a yellow v-neck.  And I thought I was at least decent enough to look at.  My brown eyes squinted when I smiled, and I hated that, but I had smooth skin and straight teeth and a small nose.  Why would Beth’s new friends not want her to be around me anymore? 
         I took a brush out of my backpack and ran it through my brown hair.  Today it was flat and silky, but that was only because I spent an hour straightening out my curls this morning.  I inherited my wavy hair from my runaway father.  I wished I’d gotten my mom’s flat blonde locks instead.  It would make styling it a lot easier.  When it looked smooth again, I put the brush away and took out my lip gloss to do some touchups.  The warning bell rang, so I hurried up and continued going to my English class.  In the doorway I saw Beth and her boyfriend, Eddie, making out.  They were blocking my way. 
         “Excuse me!” I said, not hiding the fact that I was annoyed. 
         Eddie opened his eyes to look at me, but they kept kissing, not moving an inch.  I didn’t like the way he was looking at me, like he was laughing.  But it was nothing compared to the look Beth gave me.  When they did actually suction themselves apart, she looked at me with a death glare.  “What is your problem?” she asked.
         My problem?  My problem!  You’re my problem!  That’s what I wanted to say, but I didn’t have the guts to open my mouth.  I always avoided confrontation, and this was no different.  I walked past them and into the room and sat at my table, taking deep breaths to calm down. 
“Obnoxious aren’t they?”
         I glanced at my table partner, David Brown.  I hated sitting next to him.  He was new this year, and all anyone knew of him was that he seemed to have an endless supply of pot to dish out to people.  He was the ‘bad boy’ of our senior class.  It’s not like he looked like a stoner or anything.  He was actually kind of cute in the dark, brooding sort of way.  His hair was short, but he had some bangs that brushed across his eyebrows that made him look even more delicious.  But I was not into guys like him.  Give me a straight edge guy any day of the week.  Seriously.  Please give me one. 
         Anyway, I didn’t like sitting by him because almost every time he tried to talk to me it was usually a flirty come-on.  Every day he started with a normal sentence, and I got my hopes up that maybe we could have a normal conversation.  I felt the same way that time, until he smiled and said, “So in your future, do you see us making a spectacle in the doorway?”
         Gross.  He’d probably taste like pot.  I pretended not to hear him and starting digging through my backpack for homework.  I pulled a chemistry worksheet out and acted like all my concentration had to go into checking the answers.          
         “Hm, not chatty today.  That’s okay, I don’t like chatterboxes anyway.”
         I knew he was just trying to evoke any sort of response out of me, and I wasn’t going to play along.  “How ‘bout you?  You like the strong, silent type?”
         “Yes, so shut up.”
         I couldn’t help but smile a little.  It was one of the few times that I could think of a good comeback.  He laughed.  “See, and I also like a girl that’s funny.”  I wasn’t joking, but I kept my mouth shut this time. 
         See, normally people would be excited about a comment like that, but I learned to ignore it.  That’s just how he was with everyone.  Flirty. 
When I looked up I caught a glimpse of Beth separating herself from Eddie and walking into class.  Even though she was the one that was happy and was a beautiful blonde and had a boyfriend, I felt sorry for her.  Eddie was not a good guy.  He was the star quarterback so that’s why he was popular, but he was as dumb as a box of rocks and as mean as a rattlesnake.  Unfortunately, he was blessed with good blonde-hair-blue-eyes looks so most people were blinded to his real nature. 
I knew he was a creep.  At a party, he was complaining to his girlfriend that she was putting on weight and he didn’t want to date a porker.  His girlfriend couldn’t have weighed 90 pounds soaking wet.  A guy like that is a downright prick, but somehow everyone worshipped him.  Beth was the worst, and I bet he saw that and knew he could use her.  All he had to do was smile at her and she would tell me all about her future marriage to him.  No matter what I said, she could see no bad in him. 
I watched as she slid into her chair across the room and started talking with the cheerleaders we used to hate.  It wasn’t the fact that she had new friends that bothered me.  It was the fact that she looked so happy and comfortable with them, like she didn’t miss me whatsoever.  How could popularity change someone so fast?  The only thing different about her was her popular boyfriend, yet she was suddenly part of the ‘it’ crowd. 
         “Hello?  Listening?” 
         I looked back at David.  He looked like he was waiting for an answer, so he must have asked me something.  Probably another come on, so I just ignored him.  Luckily, the class started so we couldn’t talk anyway.  I mean, oh darn! 
         As I tuned out the announcements the teacher was rattling off, I got the idea that maybe I could just confront Beth.  Walk up to her in her circle of cheerleaders and demand to know why I was such a loser to her.  The worst she could do was ignore me, and that I was starting to get used to. 
         It would’ve been a lot easier if we sat next to each other in homeroom like we used to. Now she sat over there, listening to those girls talk about the stupidest, most mundane things on earth.  We had riveting conversations.  Real conversations. 
         After class, she went out to the hall and immediately joined Eddie in the parade to class.  Even though I didn’t like Eddie and I didn’t particularly care what he thought of me, I couldn’t talk to her in front of him.  He had a well known reputation of tearing people down with words when they got on his bad side.  Talking bad about him in front of his girlfriend would definitely put me on that side.  So I just had to wait for another opportunity.
         “What’s on your mind, Connor?”
         I sighed when I heard my last name.  Why did he have to pick on me?  We weren’t even in class anymore!  “Nothing,” I told him.  “I thought I told you to shut up.”
         He ignored the last remark.  “You’ve been glaring at them for quite awhile.”
         I decided to play dumb to throw him off.  “Who?”
         I turned my head and saw him smile a little.  “So what happened between you two?  I miss eavesdropping on your conversations.”
         “Sorry I’ve deprived you of them.”
         “I appreciate your apology.”
         I turned back around and rolled my eyes.  I should’ve just ignored him from the start.  It wasn’t so much the playful comments that irked me.  If anyone else had said it, I might’ve actually enjoyed the conversation.  But it was David, so it would no doubt lead to just another flirty line.  “Seriously, Hailey,” he said.  “What made you guys fall apart?”
         “It’s really none of your business.  And why would I talk to you about it anyway?”
         “I don’t see anyone else offering their ear.”
         “And you are?”  I looked at him again.  “And when was the last time we had an actual conversation?  That didn’t consist of you hitting on me.”
         “Well, there’s always time for a first.”
         “Well, I don’t need you.  So quit bugging me.”
         I was happily surprised when he didn’t respond.  Could he actually be giving up?  Maybe just for the moment.  I slipped into my next class and he kept walking.  For fifty minutes I’d be safe. 
         In the middle of European Literature, I had an epiphany.  The lunch line!  Eddie had a tutoring session during lunch, so only her friends would be around her.  I could talk to her and not worry about Eddie creeping up behind me.  So when the bell rang for lunch, I hurried to the cafeteria and looked all over for her.  She was standing with two cheerleaders, Brittany and Laura, in the sub sandwich line.  Perfect, there was no way two cheerleaders could intimidate me.  I wouldn’t allow it. 
         I stood up straighter to fake an air of confidence, and strode over to them.  She saw me coming, but looked away immediately, like that would scare me off.  I kept going.  I walked right up to them, and the Brittany and Laura stepped back like being a loser was contagious.  Beth looked scared.  “Hey, Beth.  Can I talk to you?”
         “And you are?” Brittany said, looking me up and down.
         “I wasn’t talking to you.”
         That evoked a glare from her.  “What do you want?” Beth asked me. 
         “I want to talk to you.”
         “Don’t you get it?” Laura said.  “No one likes you.  Go crawl back to the library, geek.”
         I smirked.  Calling me a geek was not going to hurt me.  “Geek, huh?  Well, I’ve heard Beth call you two much worse.”  Beth’s eyes widened in fear.  “You ready to talk to me now?”
         She grabbed my arm and dragged me out of earshot of the other two.  “Why’re you doing this?”
         “I’m not doing anything!  I’m trying to talk to my best friend, and she keeps ignoring me.”
         “I’m not ignoring you.  I’ve just been busy.”
         “Yeah, with your new friends and boyfriend.  Seriously?  You can’t pick up a phone?”
         “Look I’m sorry.  But that doesn’t mean you have to make my friends hate me.”
         “Friends?  A month ago we were making fun of them, and now they’re your friends?”
         “They’re nice, Hailey.  I like them, and they like me.  So stop trying to make trouble for me.”          
         “Beth”-
         She turned and walked back to them, and I just stood there with my mind scrambling.  How could she like them?  They weren’t good people.  We’d seen them making fun of people in the halls more than once in our high school careers.  They loved being on top of the social pyramid, and loved making sure everyone knew it. 
         I gave up on her and just went to the concession line to get a cappuccino.  Maybe it would easier to stop by her house to talk to her.  Then she wouldn’t be afraid of what I’d say in front of her ‘friends.’ 
         After I gave the lunch lady my student ID number, I turned around to go, but practically got the wind knocked out of me from the force of someone slamming into my body.  My chest and stomach felt like they were on fire as the cappuccino spilled all over me.   
         I stepped back and held my shirt away from me as I looked at whoever ran into me.  It was Brittany.  The rest of her cheerleader friends were standing around her, all glaring at me like I had inconvenienced them by standing there.  She didn’t even say sorry for completely soaking me in hot coffee!  In fact, I could see the trace of a smirk on her face.  Then they walked right past me and sat at their lunch table.  Beth was sitting there, not looking my way.
         And to top it off, I was wearing a yellow t-shirt with a blue bra, so you could see it right through the stain.  Stupid choice, I realized, but how could you plan for something like that?  Every guy around me was snickering or wolf-whistling!  I threw away the coffee cup and guarded my chest with my books as I went to the bathroom to try to wash the brown stain off of my shirt.  I didn’t care if I was late to my next class, I wasn’t leaving the bathroom until my shirt was completely dry.  And I couldn’t go to my locker to get my sweater with my shirt all see-through! 
         I could hear all the girls that came in and out of the bathroom snickering at me like it was funny.  I wanted to yell at them and lock the door, but I couldn’t let them see how much they affected me.  That would just give them more power I wasn’t willing to give out. 
         When the bell rang for class, I was still washing my shirt, but it was starting to dry into a pale brown stain.  After I felt that it was as best as it was going to get, I decided to carry my books in front of me as a shield and left the bathroom.  The first thing I saw was David leaning against the wall, holding a hoodie.  When he saw me he held it out.  It would’ve been really sweet if it was someone else.  “I figured you’d need this,” he said as the corner of his mouth turned up in a smirk.
         “No thanks,” I said and tried walking past him.
         He stepped in front of me.  “You can’t hold your books in front of you forever.”  How’d he know that was my plan?  “Just take it.  You can give it back in homeroom tomorrow.”
         Damn him for being right.  And I didn’t have time to go to my locker, since I was only a few minutes late and I could still tell my teacher I was in the office or something.  I sighed and took it.  “Thanks.”
         He held onto my books as I put it on.  My god, I felt like I was drowning in it!  But at least it smelled good, like Downy.  That was a big surprise.  “I’ll see you tomorrow,” he said and walked off down the hall.
         Good thing he didn’t make a joke or say a smart ass comment.  Then I’d be tempted to yank the hoodie off and throw it in his face. 
         The day definitely didn’t go the way I had hoped.







Chapter 2
         It was such a relief when the school day ended and I was able to walk home to get away from everyone.  I didn’t have to work that day, so I just planned on lying in bed and watching TV.  I kept David’s hoodie on during my walk, telling myself it was only because it was cold out.  After all, it was mid March in Wisconsin.  Potoma was just outside Green Bay, so we were pretty far north and it stayed cold well into May. 
         I couldn’t help thinking that it was sweet of him to offer the hoodie.  He could’ve just snickered like everyone else and left me alone, but he stuck around to give me his own clothes.  I hated admitting that that said something about his character.  My first boyfriend was considerate like that. 
         Back in middle school, dating was more innocent.  Jimmy and I didn’t do anything beside hold hands and sneak an occasional kiss after school.  It was innocent, but it was nice.  He opened doors for me, bought me treats at lunch, and wrote me little love notes all the time.  Then he went to summer camp after seventh grade and when he came back, he dumped me for a girl who ‘wasn’t afraid to use her tongue’.  I never asked exactly how he meant that. 
         My next boyfriend didn’t come along until two years ago, when I was in my sophomore year, and he was the complete opposite of Jimmy.  That’s why it didn’t last longer than a month.  Rob thought he could treat me like a dog and I would do whatever he wanted.  I didn’t need to be wooed, but I expected a little respect.  He was my last dive into the dating pool. 
         I slipped my hands into the hoodie pocket of David’s sweater and pushed those boys to the back of my head.  This morning it had been warm, but it had started to snow during school (so much for spring coming early this year) so I was glad to have the extra sweater.  I snuggled into the fabric like it was a blanket, which it practically was because of the size.  I didn’t realize he was that big.  Somehow, this got me to start fantasizing about him.  About what he looked like with his shirt off, whether he was naturally big or if he worked out and it was all muscle.  Did he work out often?  Did he have abs?  Was he a touchy feely guy?  If we were dating, would he hold my hand or cuddle with me at the movies?
         I shook my head.  It wasn’t fair that it had to be him.  A pothead.  A hot one, though. Damn, don’t think like that Hailey!  I shouldn’t think of him at all.  I’d never find out what his body looked like.  I was acting stupid.  Well, thinking, not acting.  But it was still bad. 
          “Hey, need a ride?”
         I didn’t notice there was a car next to me until I heard Beth speak.  I stopped to look and saw she was riding in Eddie’s Cadillac.  They were both smiling, but I could tell Beth’s was fake.  Why would he be happy to see me and not Beth? 
         “No.  I’m only a few blocks from home.”
         “Come on, hop in,” Eddie said with a grin.  “It’s freezing out.”
         I never liked Eddie, but I really was tempted.  Did Beth want me to come with them?  Did she tell him about us being friends?  I hated that the idea of that made me happy.  “Please?”  Beth said, and that’s what did me in.  And my fingers were really cold.
         “Okay.  I guess,” I said, hiding my enthusiasm as she opened the door for me. 
         She slid over by Eddie to make room for me in the front seat.  “I’m sorry about what happened at lunch,” she said, sounding genuine.  “Brittany said she was sorry, too.”
         I knew that had to be a lie, but it was nice that she tried.  “Don’t worry about it.  I just wish I hadn’t worn a light color.”
           “We should hang out again soon.”
         Huh?  Where was this coming from all of a sudden?  Especially after the lunch room conversation.  “There’s a party tomorrow night.  At Eddie’s place.  You should come.”
         “I don’t know.”
         “You should come,” Eddie said.  “It’ll be a blast.”
         I didn’t know why, but he always made me nervous.  Not, oh-my-god-I’m-near-a-really-cute-boy nervous.  More like, he-sort-of-creeps-me-out nervous.  “I’ll think about it.”  He turned onto Beth’s street.  “Um, my house is actually a few blocks down.  You can drop me off first.”          
         “Beth’s is closer.  It’s fine.”
         “Eddie, I’m sure she wants to get home.”
         That was the first time she didn’t sound so cheery.  “It’s easier this way,” he said, a little forcefully. 
         She looked at him and after a moment said, “Okay.  You’re right.”
         Did she always do that?  Just roll over and let him make the decisions?  I knew she was always shy, but I thought she at least had a little backbone.  And I didn’t want to be in the car alone with him. 
         When we arrived at her house I got out as they kissed goodbye and she followed after me.  “I’ll see you tomorrow,” she told me happily, flashing another smile.
         “Bye,” I said.
         I hesitated getting back into the car, but I eventually did and he turned around in her driveway before continuing to drive me home.  “Did Beth tell you where I live?”
         “Yup.  1212 Hickory Street.” 
         I stayed close to the door.  I was about to ask if he could turn on the radio when he said, “So what’s the deal with you and David?”
         “Nothing.  What did you hear?”
         Did people think David and I were something because of the sweater thing?  “Doesn’t matter,” he said.  “I’d rather hear it from you.”
         Why, I wanted to ask, but didn’t.  “He just let me borrow his sweater after I spilled my cappuccino on me.  We’re not even friends.”
         “I saw that in the cafeteria.  Brittany’s a bitch.”
         I smiled.  That was for sure.  I’m glad someone agreed with me.  “Aren’t you guys’ friends?”          
         He shrugged.  “We dated for awhile.  Now she just kind of hangs around like an annoying dog.”  He turned onto my street.  “How come you and Beth don’t hang out anymore?”  He said, changing the subject.
         He caught me off guard with that one.  I didn’t even really have an answer to that yet.  “Just, haven’t had time,” I lied.  “I’ve been working a lot lately.  Saving for college.”
         “Well, I think you’d have fun at the party.”
         “Beth’ll be there, right?”
         He shrugged.  “Maybe.  We’ll see.”
         Well there was no way I was going to his party without her.  Why would he want me to tag along if she didn’t come?  I mean, she’s his girlfriend after all and I’m just her ex best friend. 
         He stopped at the side of the road in front of my house and actually put the car in park and turned to me.  “So, you seeing anyone?”
         That was totally random.  And totally not a question he should be asking me.  So he wouldn’t ask anymore inappropriate questions, I said, “Yeah.  He’s in college.”
         He smiled, for reasons I didn’t know until he said, “Does he like to share?”
         Okay, he was really starting to creep me out.  “No.  Do you?”          
         Even if he did, how could he?  How could he do that to Beth?  And why was he asking me this!?  He never took a notice in me before.  “I don’t mind.  I like to play the field.”
         “Do you do that?  With Beth?”
         He laughed.  “Sure.  She doesn’t care.”
         I knew that was a lie.  She would definitely care!  She believed in one guy, one girl.  I knew she wouldn’t have changed that opinion in only a month.  “Well, I don’t ‘play the field.’  Thanks for the ride.”  I opened the door.
         He grabbed my arm, keeping me there.  “If you ever change your mind, give me a call.”
         It was a tense moment, us staring at each other as he held onto my arm for a moment longer.  It definitely freaked me out.  When I managed to pull away, I got out quickly and went into the house.  God, he gave me the creeps!  No way was I going to that party without Beth now.  Even with her, I didn’t really want to go. 
         Funny, all my teenage life I’d wanted a boy to be interested in me (Rob didn’t count, because he hardly seemed interested in me over my body).  Now I had a creep and a pothead on my tail.  I think I should’ve specified a little in my prayers to the guy in the clouds.
         Mom was still at work, so I had the house to myself.  It was nice to have the night off after two weeks of work.  I was a waitress at Country Kitchen, so it wasn’t hard work, but after working so long in a row, it was nice to have time for myself.  Even if that meant I would just stay in my room the whole time. 
         After grabbing a pop-tart from the kitchen, I went to my room.  I always loved that first look into my room.  The walls were covered with band posters, practically hiding the dark green paint underneath, and I had one wall completely dedicated to shelves of CD’s.  My collection was pushing a thousand.  Even though the walls were cluttered, the room itself was kept very clean.  I hated having things be out of place.  My bed was made, the green and black pillows sitting atop the vine decorated bedspread, and the black carpet was freshly vacuumed.  My computer desk was organized with my laptop on one side, and the printer and paper on the other.  Everything was perfectly placed.  Mom called it OCD, I called it neat. 
         I walked over to my closet to grab my ‘forbidden’ CD’s I kept hidden under a pair of shoes in an old box.  They were my CD’s that Mom would kill me if she found.  Most of them were of a band called Inferno.  The others were random CD’s that had a song written by Josh Sawyer, who was the lead singer of the rock band Inferno.  He also happened to be my dad. 
         Not like that meant anyone knew I existed.  I was the product of a groupie’s (AKA: Mom), obsession with a musician.  She actually traveled on the tour bus with him for a few months, and she claimed they were exclusive.  But as soon as he found out she was pregnant, he dropped her off in a random city and took off. 
         He wasn’t a good guy, but the lyrics he wrote were absolutely wonderful.  He could make you cry in tragic love ballads, or make you jam out in your room to a hard rock song.  And he had a beautiful, silky voice that felt like it wrapped around you and kept you warm for however long the song was.  I loved that feeling. 
         I put in an Inferno CD and listened to my favorite track on it, ‘Your Man.’ I turned it up loud and lay on my bed with my eyes closed to let the words float around me.

‘I saw you standing there,
The moonlight shining in your hair.
Waiting for a gentle man,
To come and take your hand.

I ain’t exactly what you had in mind,
And meeting you wasn’t part of my plan,
But may I take your hand,
Because lady I wanna be your man.

         It wasn’t his best, but it had a slow, magical sound to it.  I could practically see him singing it to a woman under a starry night. 
         The song continued to play, and then the next, and then another, and I just lay there listening to them all.  Sometimes I wondered if I would be so obsessed with his words and his voice if he was around.  I’d probably get sick of it if he were an actual dad to me.  We’d get in fights, and I’d most likely hate him sometimes.  I’d never want to listen to his music.  But that wasn’t the way it was, so I was just left to wonder.
         I changed CD’s and started working on my Chemistry homework.  Pretty typical night off of work for me, actually.  How could the day have been so dramatic and end so dull?

***

         Inferno had a website that I checked almost daily.  Mostly because of the blog that Josh Sawyer wrote.  He updated it every day, talking about what was going on on his tour, or his inspiration for new songs.  I avoided the ‘family’ page.  He had an ex-wife that he kept in contact with, and they had a son together, JJ.  Josh junior, technically, but no one called him that.  He was fifteen and the one time I looked at the family page I saw a ton of pictures of him and a lot of info about his life.  Josh was so proud of his son.  Funny how he wasn’t ready to be a dad when I was born, and then three years later he was married and had JJ.  I deserved a link on that page, so I avoided going to it so as to not upset myself.
         When I checked the blog on Friday, I saw that he had listed the new tour dates.  And it wasn’t just any tour.  It was their farewell tour!  They officially announced on the site that they were going to retire after the last venue of this year’s tour.  The closet concert was in Milwaukee, almost two hours away.  I’d never been to one of his concerts, but I’d been determined to go since I was thirteen.  Now that I had my own income, I could actually afford the ticket.  But first I had to wait for my next paycheck so I could pay off my credit card to use online. 
         After writing down the date, I went to search for a ticket that wasn’t too ridiculously priced.  As I waited for the page to load, I got dressed for school to save some time.  I was running late already, but I couldn’t leave without seeing a price.  When I tried picking out a hoodie, I kept thinking about David’s sweater lying on my bed.  I gave it a look.  It would look entirely wrong if I wore it to school.  Yesterday was understandable, but today would bring too many questions.  So I pulled a dark blue zip up out of my closet and put it on, then shoved his sweater in my backpack. 
         The page was up by the time I sat down and the ticket price was $120.  And that wasn’t even for a good seat!  Inferno wasn’t very popular lately (their big hits were in the 80’s), but I knew all the sites would jack up the prices because it was the last tour.  I wanted to be close to the front, if not right in the front row.  If I was going to go to a concert to see my dad, I was going to be close enough for him to see me too, so I would have to spend the big bucks to make it happen.  That was going to be hard to swing with my paychecks. 
         “Hailey!” my mom called from downstairs.  “Come on, you’re going to be late for school!”
“I’ll be down in a minute,” I called back.
Before closing the site, I wrote down some notes in my small notebook so I wouldn’t forget the date or ticket price, and then shut down the laptop and headed out.
Mom was in the kitchen, sitting at the counter while she ate a plate of scrambled eggs.  “Bout time you got your pokey butt down here,” she joked.
         “I’ve never been late to school.  How do you call that pokey?”
         Sometimes when I looked at Mom, it was hard to believe I was her kid.  We really had nothing in common, mentally or physical.  She had blonde hair, pulled into a bun and ready for work now, and her features were more rounded.  I had all the sharp characteristics from dad.  Mom I would consider ‘pudgy.’  I don’t mean that in a harsh way, either.  She looked fine, but I know she has a few extra pounds that she always wants to get rid of.  Unfortunately, she didn’t expend much time into dieting or exercise.  Working all day at a law firm didn’t help.  She was always busy or had things on her mind, and she was only an assistant! 
         She still managed to make time for me though.  We had a great friendship.  If she wasn’t at work, she was with me.  Unless she was on a date with Robert, which only happened about once a week.  He was a lawyer at the firm (no, not her boss!  They didn’t even work on the same floor), so finding time for each other was a little difficult.
         “I left some eggs on the stove for you,” she said.  “Sorry, you’ll have to make your own toast.  I had to start reading this over.”  She nodded to the papers beside her.
         Breakfast was hurried and quiet, both of us running late and with too many things on our minds.  I left first after rinsing off my plate and giving her a kiss on the cheek. 
         I got to homeroom a few minutes late, but the teacher didn’t even notice.  She was just hurriedly grading papers.  I was about to take my backpack off to get David’s sweater out, but then I saw that he wasn’t even there.  And Beth was actually sitting in his seat, and she smiled when she saw me.
           “Are you coming tonight?” she asked when I sat down.
         “I don’t think so.”
         “Why not?  We never hang out anymore.”
         And whose fault was that?  I kept my voice low when I said, “Beth, do you know that Eddie sees other girls?”
         Her smile fell a little, but she said, “Yeah.”
         “And you let him?”  She nodded.  “Why?”
         “You wouldn’t understand.”
         “Try me.”
         She sighed.  “I love him.  I can’t make him change for me after only a month.  We just have different ideas on how a relationship should be.  But I know he’ll change when he’s ready.”
         She was right, I didn’t understand.  How could she love someone that openly cheated on her?  How could she just let him get away with it without any argument?  “Did he tell you he came onto me?”
         I could see the hurt in her eyes, and the stunned look for a moment, but she hid it quickly with a small smile.  “Well, you are hot.”
         “This isn’t funny, Beth.  I don’t know why you’ve changed so much, but you have.  This isn’t you.”
         “Sorry I’m not the shy little dork I used to be.  Sorry I finally have a boyfriend and a social life,” she said hotly. 
         “Yeah right.  A boyfriend that cheats on you, and friends that’ll dump you as soon as he does.”
         I knew it was harsh, but she had to hear it.  I couldn’t just let her be so blind to reality.  We were always honest with each other, but she obviously didn’t seem to like it anymore.  She just glared at me for a moment before saying, “Just come to the party.  Eddie wants you to come.”
         “And you?”
         She didn’t answer, just got up and went back to her real seat.  Well, one thing was for sure; I was not going to that party.  I wasn’t going to be Eddie’s latest hook up. 
         All day I caught Eddie looking at me.  I wondered if he always did it without my knowing, or he was just trying to bug me because I shot him down.  Did he seriously think I would want to be the ‘other woman’ in his and Beth’s relationship?  And besides, wouldn’t he rather have one of the ‘cool’ girls?  Not only were they – well, cool – they were way prettier than me.  And they’d probably be more interested in his attention. 
         David wasn’t in my English class either, so he must’ve been skipping.  Surprisingly, I missed his pestering.  I’d grown used to it after seven months.  And honestly, with that being the only attention I got in over a month, I felt lonely without him.  That was pathetic.