What do I say

I sat in the waiting room waiting for my shrink to call me in and asessed my dressing again. Nothing was wrong with it.

So why was the girl with the braces staring at me like i'd grown horns? Do I have a tear on my shirt or mud on my boots?

"Must be the way she stares rudely that had her parents bring her here." I told myself, and continued picking the mosquito bite on my arm until I felt blood. Good, now I'm sure there's no mosquito venom in my blood.

A little boy and his mum walked out of the doctor's office and as they passed in front of me, he whispered to his mum, just loud enough for everyone to hear.

"Why does he dress funny like that?"
The mum looked nervously at me, hushed her son and hurried on.

I looked around, who was the kid talking about. It couldn't be me, because I had taken special care and time selecting the perfect clothes.

A nice flowered print T-shirt, green jeans- I particularly love the jeans cos I'd never seen one with such color, a knee lenght boot which my neighbor said was for girls. What does she know?

And yes, of course! My bow-tie. Ties demand respect, and that's just what I intend getting from my shrink today. I'm really tired of the way he addresses me, like I was suffering from some kind of mental disorder.

A lady came in, sat next to me and smiled. I smiled back at her, and crossed my legs. I couldn't let her know she'd unnerved me just by sitting next to me so i started humming a song I'd learnt in a therapy home.

She looked at me and smiled again, I moved a little away from her and tried smiling too. I felt stupid, but of course, I wasn't stupid.

"Where did you learn to sing like that?" She asked so quietly I had to strain my ears to hear.

I couldn't tell her it was from another crazy home, that would make her know I was crazy, so I said the first thing that came to my head.

"Life is such a bitch, innit?" her smile faltered.

No, that wasn't what was in my head. That wasn't what I should say. She smiled again, maybe waiting for me to continue, but I let it go. She must be crazy in some way too, I told myself. Or why else would she be here?

"Yeah, life is a bitch sometimes" She finally agreed and pressed closer to me. I almost jumped out of my seat. "And I also like your shirt, or is it a T-shirt?"

"T-Shirt" I said proudly glad to have remembered the name. "I got it for my... Uhm.." Who did I get it for? I asked myself and then frowned. No, my mum got it for me. I looked at the smiling lady uneasily. I thought of smiling too, but my cheeks already hurt for her.

"I got it for my mum, then she gave it to me." I said.

Her smile didn't falter as she asked concernedly, "Why, didn't she like it?"

Oh no, I thought. What was the answer to that question? What was even the question?

"Who?" I asked, hoping the doctor would call me any minute.

Now she frowned. I felt my heart sink to the bottom of my stomach. "Your mum. Why did she return something you got her."

This time, I paused to think before I answered. "I don't know."
There. I did it!

She didn't smile again, but she still looked at me.
"Why do you wear a bow-tie with a T-shirt?" She asked again.

I couldn't remember what a bow-tie or T-shirt was, after worrying my lower lip with my teeth for a few seconds I just shrugged.

"My name is Jordan." She said quietly.

I was going to just nod and keep quiet.

"That's terrible," I said, and then yelped when I bit my tongue at the stupid statement. "I meant, that's... thats" That's what? I asked myself. This was embarrassing. She must know I'm mental now.

"Mike Anderson" a nurse called.

I stopped in mid sentence and looked up. "That's me," I said gratefully and rose to my feet. "That's my name."

She only stared.

I thought of saying something, you know, other than 'bye'. Maybe, 'it was nice talking to you' or 'see you later'.

"Bye." I said and walked inside the doctors office. I was in a psychiatric hospital. She should know I was crazy.