Five Floors High

Here I sit five floors high
High up in this city of lonesomeness
High enough to see tree tops
High enough to know that I am truly lost

I can’t quite grasp reality
I can’t quite figure things out
I know I am living in a vast nothingness
I know I can’t quite touch what I want

I close my eyes and feel the wind
I close my eyes and hear the birds
I close my eyes and remember the past
But when I close my eyes, I know I’m lost

I feel so much pain
So much of what I can never touch
So many things that I have lost
It doesn't matter, it means nothing all

I try to stop the pain
I try to go to another place
A place that will never be
I try and try and but only end up worse

I hurt all those around me
They will never understand
Only I am in this empty world
A world that only I can withstand

Does it really matter?
Do they really care?
I know they try to listen
But to no avail

Here I am five floors high
Longing for some peace
I will sit and listen and think of what life could be
But my world will only be at peace
When I am dead or fast asleep….