Story Time!

Terry in his secondary sex-ed class,
Text messaging he beckons Mary’s Texan arse,
Sending pics of his erection to his better half
With a caption reading ‘girl I need to get to get head fast’
Mary supresses her depressing past,
Her sexual proclivities are unsurpassed.
So Mary ain’t contrary to Terry’s demands,
Using flu as an excuse to skip her next French class.
Mary locks the door of the lost and found,
As Terry’s trousers hit the ground.
They share a smile then they both look down,
As he says, ‘Come on over here and give it a kiss.'

Mandy’s out dancing cause she feels alone,
Her three grown kids have all moved out of home.
Her husband’s got irritable bowel syndrome,
And her ovaries are giving that hormonal groan.
Ferdinand the virgin marches out on his own,
Urgently he’s searching for that milestone.
As he watches Mandy shake her tailbone,
He begins to feel the stirrings of testosterone.
Ferdinand and Mandy dance to ‘Let it Be’,
They drink his vodka and her Hennessey.
They share the smile of amphetamines,
As she says, ‘come on over here and give me a kiss!'


Sky’s high on blow but low on dough.
She sleeps on the streets of Idaho.
At school she was always a little slow,
But not slow enough to know her stash is running low.
Randy Joe’s driving as he combs his fro,
Screeches to a halt and kills the radio.
He sizes up Sky from head to toe,
And says ‘I’ll get you what you need, just jump in let’s go!’
Randy Joe tells her to drop her drawers,
And lines Sky up with the other whores.
He gives her the smile that opens doors,
As he says, ‘go on over there and give him a kiss.’

Bouncy Brown lurking in the school playground.
Listening to children as they fool around,
Without a sound he hounds them to the school playground,
Spying on the children as they’re cooling down.
Little swimming Billy has his small head bowed,
Cause his backstroke ain’t exactly world renowned.
As he flounders Bouncy Brown says ‘Careful or you’ll drown’
Astounded Billy turns around and sees a clown.
With his nose bright red and his face paint green,
He holds up a giant jar of jellybeans.
They smile but Billy’s mother enters the scene,
So he says, ‘Go on over there and give her a kiss.’


Pete sneaks on his two bare feet,
Making sure the stairs don’t creak.
His victim killed his baby niece,
He’s been plotting this revenge for several painful weeks.
Justice the accomplice by the toilet seat,
Like an infant playing hide and seek.
She lunges out as the victim takes a leak,
And Pete puts a meat cleaver through his cheek.
The victim bucks like a wild horse,
But Pete snaps his neck with deadly force.
They share the smile of no remorse,
As she says, ‘come on over here and give me a kiss.’

Poor Susan’s only got five months left,
Until she draws her final breath.
The cancer travelled from her breast,
So she lies, confined to her hospital bed.
The darling mother in her Sunday best,
Sits and watches her daughter rest.
Tears fall on her floral dress,
As she sees the laboured rise and fall of Susan’s chest.
Susan stirs from her heavy sleep,
Squints and sees her mother’s cheeks,
She cracks a rare smile from beneath the sheets.
As she says, ‘come on over here and give me a kiss.'

Niles reclines in senile somnolence,
He steers quiet clear of harmful condiments.
With slurred pronunciation of his consonants,
Has it out with the spouse in his intolerance.
Molly with involuntary incontinence,
Diagnosed with gout she’s been a horror since.
And with Niles’ added sexual incompetence,
The couple wished they lived on different continents.
But Niles then thinks about their honeymoon,
And Molly remembers how he made her swoon.
They share a smile in the dining room,
As he says, ‘come on over here and give me a kiss!’