Girdle Gorgeous

Girdle Gorgeous
by Tina Jones


I had a party to attend. The guys would be hot...hot...hot. The girls not...not...not. I did not intend on coming home alone if at all. To this means I began preparing and planning days in advance.

Now I don't know about other plump women but for me fat jiggling out on the dance floor (not always in sync with the rest of my body much less the music), I do not find an attractive attribute.

Beeching a friend for help was my first mistake of many. She suggested her girdle. Full-body girdle no less. Of this advice I did have enough sense to be doubtful. I looked her up and down certain she was a size smaller than me. Okay...two sizes. She brought out the spandex torture device then dangled it seductively in front of my fevered eyes.

"Ummmm...hhmmm...hand it over!" Mistake number two. Of course she didn't mention the damn thing had teeth and would bite...but I digress.

The big night fnally arrived. For days I had been daydreaming of how girdle gorgeous I was going to look out on the dance floor. Instead oof looking like a jazz band, all of me playing different notes but somehow managing to make one rhythm; I was going to be a well practiced orchastra all of me on the same page.

That was the plan.