A Mysterious Skeleton

"Weird," said the Sergeant.  "It's one thing to find the skeleton of a victim missing for years.  But this could be the old lady that disappeared two days ago."

The Sergeant was probably right.  We'd need the Medical Examiner for a positive id, but the old lady's purse was next to the skeleton, along with remnants of her clothing.  It was no trick to figure out who it was.

"Looks like she slipped on the edge of the bank, and fell down here near the pond," I observed.

"Can I get some pictures Lieutenant?" came from behind me.  A female reporter/photographer for the local scandal sheet.  Comes on to anything wearing pants.

"Just as soon keep this low key if we can," I replied, turning toward her.

"Oh now Lieutenant," she said, caressing the side of my face for no good reason.  "Our paper needs to keep the people informed."

Stepping out of her reach, I waved her forward.  No legal way to stop her.  She started snapping pictures.  Digitals make it so cheap the newsies just fire away figuring one or two will be usable.

"Ouch," hollered the Sergeant, "the dammed thing is chewing on me."

He lifted his left arm and hand up.  Hanging off his palm was a slimy looking turtle.

"Aw, is the vicious beast picking on the little Sergeant?" she asked, snapping a picture of the attack.

Need I tell you that she's a sarcastic bitch?

"You print that and I'll feed you to the turtles," said the Sergeant.

Just then I realized he'd solved the case.  Maybe we could solve two problems.  She'd never know it was time for turtle hibernation to end.

"We're leaving, but you can stay to get more pictures if you want," I suggested.  "Just don't slip getting out."