Pretty Girls

There is a monster standing at my bedroom door
Hiding under these blankets, because it’s calm before storm
He tells me that he loves but calls me his little whore
I only tell Teddy because mommy loves him more


But she loves him, I love him
I need him, he loves me


All she knows is a life of vanity and shame
She kisses penises in the pursuit of unattainable fame
Fast money and insincere complements numb her pain
The lights, cameras and actions keep her soul contained
She one of the many goddess of temptation’s shrine
Indignity weighs heavy on her mine
Male approval is her cure, so Dr. Cain tells her she is fine
After sessions bent over naked on her therapist’s table snorting lines


But she loves it, I love it
She needs it, they love her


My rage hits her till the point she can’t breathe
Sober thoughts beg her not to leave
I promise to kiss your bruises away
Clever phrases and gentle words convince her to stay
Tears trickle down from those beautiful naive eyes
Asking myself how long can she take these beatings and pathetic lies
So I put these bullets in this 9 and plead for her forgiveness
My lips pressed on the tip of the cold barrel as my finger pulls the trigger and blows away a final kiss


But he loved her, I loved her
I needed her, she loved me


The other girls say she is ugly but she is really beautiful
So she tells her mother that she is not hungry and she really full
Head hung over public washroom toilets throwing up
The mirror on the wall still tells her “You’ll never be pretty Ms. Stupp”


But she hates herself, I hate myself
I need to, they hate me