Ups and Downs of Teenage Life

Chapter 1: Can’t Be Friends

I wish we never did it And I wish we never loved it, And I wish I never fell so deep in love with you and now it aint no way we can be friends
Can’t Be Friends by Trey Songz

Ever since year seven, when my friends stopped believing that boys had cooties, they and along with rest of the world would tell me that Jonny and I were 'meant to be' as if were made for each other. Soul mates, as they would call it.
By High School I couldn't even remember the number of people who had made comments about how he and I were probably going to get married in university or maybe a few months afterwards receiving a degree. It was either that or end up pregnant in high school, as they mention it to me from time to time. It was such an embarrassing topic, but at the time it was all a jest to me. I never took it seriously and shrugged it off as if it was associated with some stupid high school gossip.
The chances of Jonny and I ever being on romantic terms was slim to nothing. I'm not saying Jonny was a total turnoff. He was amazing in his own way. There were plenty of times when I wished I could play football as good as he did or even have half of his sense of humor. He was too damn funny, making me laugh or giggle at the start of the day and bring me to a smile by the end of the day. Jonny was probably the only guy I could act completely like myself around. But just because of that, it didn't mean Jonny and I was not meant to be. And it definitely did not mean that we were going to married in university or after. It didn't mean I would fall in love with him Year 12. Nope. It did not mean any of it.

It simply meant that we were best friends. The BEST of bestest friends.
Yep. He was the only guy that my parents wouldn't mind having him sleepover even if we were both too old for it. He was the only guy that could care less if I wore makeup or fancy clothes. He was the guy who knew all of deepest secrets and feelings. That's who he was. The guy that I would run to if my boyfriend broke up with me or if I got into an argument with my parents. It was actually simple. He lived across the street from my house. It was a perfect convenience whenever I needed a shoulder to lean on. He was there.
Everyone wondered how a girl like me could get along with a guy like him so well. Jonny was a hormonal seventeen-year-old flirting with girls 24/7. You would probably could call him a player who uses smooth words to sweet talk a girl. He'd never had a serious girlfriend that last no more than a week. I am not saying he was an unattainable or shallow or even a jerk. He was actually sweet, considerate, and he never cheats. But most girls were attracted to him physically not personality wise. The shaggy brown hair, the warm brown eyes, the tan skin and toned muscles. He was at a perfect height for a handsome guy and every girl at our school wanted him.
Jonny wasn't like the rest of the jocks at our school. He didn't party hard or got drunk occasionally. He was just…Jonny. The boy who drank once in a while at gatherings but never got drunk. The one who always watched out for me and dragged me home whenever he had a bad feeling at some party.

I, on the other hand, was completely opposite from him. While Jonny was a bit more conservative and very serious at some times, I tended to be more…bubbly. I'm not saying that I am overly happy, seeing the positive in all things. I didn't grave the attention so I wasn't too loud or too wild, but I knew how fun and make others feel better. Unlike Jonny, I've been in serious relationships even if they ended badly.
I guess, Jonny and I were really different, yet very similar. We were the kind of people that just clicked. We knew each other well enough to understand each other with just one look.
Jonny Swallow was my best friend.
And Year 12 came around, everything suddenly changed between us. It could have been the stupid choices I had made or the stupid arguments I had started. It could have been the way I treated him or the way I had always treated him. Or maybe it was that girl that ruined everything between us. All in all, it was me who had ruined everything. It was me who looked at him straight in the eye and told him that I couldn't be friends with him. And stupid of me, I knew Jonny well enough to take those words to heart. So if anyone was to blame, it would be me.

Not Jonny.

Jonny was innocent in all this drama. And because I couldn't handle loving him, I let him go. And because I was too selfish and ignorant.
I had lost him.

I had lost my best friend AND the boy I loved.
________________________________________
I woke up with a start the next week, September 12th 2011, it was 8.30 in the morning and downstairs I could hear my little sister Carly and her best friend Chloe getting ready for school. I got up and peaked outside my window where I saw Jonny and his best friend Lee and little sister Louise exiting his house, Jonny still looked as depressed and upset as he had done when I bumped into him on Saturdays. I felt so awful for the way I treated him but I honestly could not put myself through being completely and utterly in love with him whilst we were best friends. It would’ve killed me. I’m not that special, I’m sure he’ll get over it it’s not like he’s a loner he has a massive network of support from people at school. I am going to be so hated for this, everyone loves Jonny and it kills people when he’s upset.
“C’mon Danielle” shouts my mother Sally from downstairs. I get dressed quickly and run into the back of my mum’s car next to Carly and Chloe whilst our younger brother Sean sat in the front seat looking elated. Ah, to be 12 years old again. I looked at my phone for the first time since Saturday morning to see I had 72 text messages that I had not yet read. As we drove through the streets of Sheffield on the way to our school I scrolled through my inbox. A majority of the texts were from people wanting to know why Jonny and I are no longer friends. Their seemed to be 5 different rumours going around
1.          Jonny and I had been secretly dating and we had split up
2.          Jonny came onto me and I rejected him
3.          I came onto Jonny and he rejected me
4.          We just had a fight
5.          The real Danielle Parker has been abducted by aliens

I found the last one quite amusing. At least no one seemed to have guessed that I was head over heels for Jonny. We pulled into the school parker and mum shot me a sympathetic smile as I got out of the car, Carly and Sean were both majorly pissed off with me. When Jonny and I were best friends he was around them a lot more and it made them more popular because Jonny is by far the coolest kid in school. I passed Louise Swallow and Jonny’s younger brother Dean who both looked like they hated me for what I had done to Jonny

What had I done?

I met up with my best girlfriends Amy Martin and Hannah Redman both of whom demanded to know with immediate affect why I would blow 13 years of friendship with Jonny
“You guys have been friends for so long” said Hannah “And he’s so kind and sweet. I just don’t get it Danielle”
“Did he upset you” asked Amy “Because he can be a dick at times”
“No it’s nothing like that” I said wanting them to shut up. We were in the girl’s bathroom and I really wanted to tell Amy and Hannah why I put an end to my friendship with Jonny but girls kept coming in and out of the bathroom including Gabby Johnson the bitchiest and most two faced girl on the planet. She was also a massive slut and had fancied Jonny since primary school and know she was going to sink her teeth into him big style as she had always seen me as some sort of threat. “I’ll tell you at lunch” I sighed as the bell for form rang
I enjoyed form normally but the fact that Jonny was in it and that I sat next to him would make this form time hell for me, especially seen as though they had extended it by 5 minutes this year to allow people not to miss any of first period. Spotting an opportunity I found Bella Scott, a stunning but quite unknown girl in our form, that had been in love with Jonny forever and I asked her if she would consider changing places with me. She was happy enough to do it and she’s so kind she didn’t even ask why Jonny and I had ‘fallen out’. I found myself sitting next to Ellie Marsden in form now, we weren’t great friends but we quite liked eachother and had a mutual hatred of Gabby
Jonny was last into the classroom and he just looked sad and heartbroken, he looked in my direction as if he was going to smile at me but decided against it and instead sat next to Bella and began a conversation about The X Factor with her. This was the kind of thing that made me wonder why I called off my friendship with Jonny; everyone knew that Bella was insanely in love with him but he never made fun of her and was never anything but kind to her. Bella mouthed ‘thank you’ at me from across the classroom and I smiled at her before turning back to Ellie who wanted me to consider whether Gabby had put on weight during the summer holidays

As the bell rang for first period, I picked up my things and walked by myself to Maths as Jonny would normally walk with me and it was really awkward having him five centimetres behind me. A few times I heard him about to speak to me but he stopped at the last second and on the fifth attempt he stormed past me and I swear I saw a tear trickling down his face. This almost made me full on sob in the middle of the corridor; I’ve seen Jonny cry four times in my life and it’s only been when something is drastically wrong. I guess this does qualify, I felt like such a cow and the school seemed to share that opinion with me