"Free Bird" short story by Sean McClung

Angel could feel the brush being pulled through her chestnut curls. Her head yanked back a little too far on a particularly brutal stroke.
         “Damned your willful soul to hell Angel sit still.” The severe woman with brush in hand said as her free hand gripped the young woman’s chin. Jerking the innocent eyes up to meet the older eyes that looked like dark wells. Angel had seen sketches from her books. Books that she had discovered in the attic one day while her mamma was away. Books that stayed hidden because the only books Mamma allowed were the ones she had written. Books that told about all of the evils in the world. Evil’s Mamma blamed the night she came home acting funny and told Angel how she had been a writer once. How she had been married once too but that was over now. When Mamma had awoken from her funny slumber on the couch she had yanked Angel close and hissed words of love and forgetfulness in her face. She told Angel she should forget about what she had seen and know only that Mamma loved her and she should love Mamma. So Angel did, even when the brush slashed down and smacked the cheek that looked like porcelain hooked in hardened fingers.
        “I told you to stop squirming child. What has you so interested that you feel it’s necessary to ignore me? Your Mother who loves you?”
         “I’m sorry Mamma I saw a bird outside. I never saw one so close to the house before.  It looked so happy to flap its wings and just fly.” Angel was about to say more but her Mamma cut her off.
         “Don’t be stupid girl. The bird isn’t happy. He’s out there and will probably be eatin soon. There’s nothing but evil out there. Now stop staring out of the window before I board them all up.”
         Angel sat still but inside her heart fluttered. The windows were the only way she ever saw the outside world. Her books had nice ideas but she wanted to see the things as they really were. She wanted to see if her imagination was right.
         "There’s a good girl. My perfect little doll, my Angel.” The brush strokes continued as they had for years. Angel’s eyes had stopped tearing seventeen years ago. But as the brush strokes got harder Angel wondered if she was due for another punishment.
         Angel had cleaned the entire house; it was always special for her when Mamma let her go downstairs. Even if it was just to clean. She had trembled when she asked Mamma’s permission to clean and make up for being bad again. Mamma had allowed her to make up for it and now she was finishing her own room.
         Kneeling down to dust her vent she couldn’t help but peering inside. There tucked away into the shadows were her books. The ones with drawings of wells, bridges, birds, and knights. They had no values like Mamma’s books. Some men were even good and saved people in need. Mamma said all men were evil and would just take something special from you and leave. Angel didn’t want to think about the evil right now and made an effort to think of her bird. She thought of the bird as a part of her now, like her books. But she would never put the bird in a cage to make it hers. Her bird needed to be free to flap its wings. Somehow something so beautiful locked in a cage seemed very cruel to Angel.  She thought of one of her books in a cage trying to flap its pages. She giggled and tried to cover her mouth. Glancing at the door in alarm she knew she was being stupid again. Mamma hated her being stupid, she’d be mad. Had she heard her being stupid?
         “Angel, dear, what is so funny? Do I hear you giggling? Laughing like a silly addle brained idiot? What’s so funny?” Mamma was sudden and looming in the doorway.
         “Nothing Mamma I swear, I don’t know. I just giggled. I’m sorry.” Angel stood and tried not to stumble as she presented herself in the middle of the room. She tried not to wring her hands as Mamma stared at her. Mamma hated that.
         “Maybe you were giggling because you thought of something awful happening to me, hmm?”
         “No Mamma! I love you.” Angel in her shock forgot not to interrupt Mamma.
        “Oh what a fine young lady we have here? Interrupting me? Giggling like a twit? Calling me a liar. Maybe I’m hearing things? Maybe I need to beat you into a proper young lady.” Mamma’s voice rose higher as she got closer.
         Angel knew not to back away and her mind whirled desperately to figure out some way to appease Mamma. Suddenly Mamma was calm. Walking away again, at the door she turned and quite now that she wasn’t yelling said,            “Don’t move a muscle girl. Mamma knows just what to do for you. Because I love you. Jesus be with you.”
         Angel’s body screamed already with remembered pain. She tried not to shiver as Mamma marched back in with the belt. If she cried or squirmed she would only get hit harder. She could barely move anyway, but couldn’t stand to stay still. The pounding of her heart rushed into her ears. She thought of her bird again. She felt crazy for almost giggling again. The first stinging slap chased the bird away. The second brought the memory of the bird’s wings back. She clung to that like a mirage. Her pounding heart was every beat of the birds wings. The belt through the air was the wind on her face. The sounds of the belt became the branches swishing through the air. She was the bird. The bird was free. She wasn’t here. The bird. The bird was free.
         It was later than Angel had ever stayed up. Lying in bed and pretending to be asleep had hurt. Not just because her body still ached but also because she had only lied to Mamma three times before. Her heart ached as she snuck down the stairs. The first floor felt so alien to her. She had only been down here when Mamma had watched her. Now it was dark and every shadow was out to catch her. Her every footstep screamed betrayal, but. she needed to know if her bird was okay. She knew she couldn’t take care of it but if only she could see it one more time and make sure it wasn’t hurt by evil.
         She wasn’t even aware of making a plan to sneak out. The stairs had scared her the most. The front door she didn’t even remember opening. All she knew now was that she was outside. For the first time ever she felt the delicious sting of the grass on her bare feet. She twirled around and danced with the moonlight touching her skin. The wind came up and it almost scared her back in. It was so full and everywhere as it fluttered her nightgown. The rustle of the trees sounded nothing like the belt. She moved on.
Angel began picking her way through the trees straining to hear something from her bird. Suddenly she heard something much different.
         “Well look what we have here, it's pretty. It's in a nightgown. It must be crazy or retarded. It's wandered into our backyard and so it must be ours.”
Angel whirled about without glee this time. She saw a group of boys gathered around a back porch. They looked exactly as Mamma had said they would. Mean, eager, prideful, and dirty. Angel thought of the stories that Mamma had told her of the wicked things boys would do. She couldn’t speak.
         “I don't think she likes us, she won't answer.” The boys started coming at her as a group. “Maybe she really is retarded or she's just afraid of us.”
         Angel just wanted her bird. Her legs gave way as she thought of trolls.
Suddenly a clod of dirt flew and smacked the lead boy on the head.
         “Get the hell away from her you stupid punk.” The boys stopped and turned to see a young man coming from the house. He stalked furiously at the group, scattering them back to the house. Angel could barely raise her head and simply sat. Curiosity did allow her to peek up at her rescuer. She had a quick thought of the knights in books she had read in private. The knight or devil looked down and tried to smile reassuringly at the cowering girl. She barely noticed the hand he offered to her. She no longer thrilled at the wind. Her mother’s voice bellowed about the devils and evils done to young girls in her head.
         “I'm Stanley. I hope my idiot younger brother and his friends didn't get to you too bad.” As Stanley finished his introduction he lowered himself next to the scared girl. Not sitting too near, much as he would for a frightened animal.
Angel started to calm down, her heart slowing down enough to hear the boy speak. She looked for more signs that he might be a knight from her books. Stanley saw the glance as an opening. “It sure is a beautiful moon tonight. Kind of like you.” Stanley gave a tentative glance of his own as he said the last bit.
Angel looked up and was surprised at how little the moon had moved.
        “So do you live around here? You must since you’re walking around in a nightgown.” Stanley went on and on in what he hoped was a calming voice. “What’s your name? As I said my name is Stanley and the little monster you met earlier is Chad. My little brother, he’s not as bad as he tries to act. He gets worse when his friends are around. I really hope they didn’t scare you too bad.”
Angel noticed the young man hadn’t tried to edge closer as he spoke or done any of the horrible things she had been told about. Maybe Mamma had been wrong. So maybe he was a knight after all and deserved a token, just like in her books. So she said, “Angel kind sir. My name is Angel and I thank you.”
         “Why thank you back kind lady. But no need to be so fancy. We could be friends you know. What are you doing out so late anyway? Stanley asked with concern in his voice, though he did lean forward a bit more.
         “I had to come out to find a friend.” Angel shared with a small smile.
        “I could help you look if you want, I hope your friend is okay, there are some stupid people in this neighborhood. Stanley waved his hand towards the house. “I nearly beat Chad’s butt earlier when I caught him torturing a bird earlier today, what’s wrong?” Stanley glanced with alarm at Angel as she suddenly stiffened and began to pull away.
         “I have to go, I shouldn’t be here.” Angel felt panicked at the thought of her bird being tortured, she also noticed the moon had moved much farther now. 
Angel began to run back into the wood line behind Stanley’s house. Automatically running back in the direction of home. Of her Mother who may have been right about all of this. The adventure was over and she was a fool.
         “Angel wait let me help you, we can be good friends.” Stanley’s desperate cries fell short as Angel was already disappearing into the trees.
         Angel approached her house looking for any sign of her mother being awake. She started to climb the latticework of her home. It traveled up the wall and allowed access to her window. The lattice felt sturdy enough as she traveled  up the wall. Suddenly she heard a noise from a window near her. A light came on and she froze, her heat beating like the bird again. She clung to the wall and agonized, if her Mother checked on her and found her gone what would she do? Could Angel sneak in while her mother was wandering around the house? Despite the fear Angel felt she had to try. She slowly began to climb again hoping to beat her mother to her room.
         She reached the top of the lattice after an eternity of climbing. Her heart raced and sank in her gut at once. She could hear her mother checking her domain. She reached for the roof overhang when her heart lifted. She felt she could fly again and it took her a second to realize what caused the change. She heard it. The beautiful singing of her bird again. It was back and just for her. She tried to turn while hanging onto the lattice to see her lovely bird. But the shifting was too much. The lattice began to separate from the wall and she fell slowly through space. The last thing she heard before hitting the ground was her mother opening the door and yelling about the devils bird.
         There was much banging and bars being placed over the windows over the next few days. Angel's mother would ensure her daughter would never
get out again. After finding her lying on the ground Angel's mother had began to kick and beat her while lying on the grass under the moonlight. Now Angel was strapped to her bed and badly bruised. Her mother would come by ever so often on her way to close off any escape route. Passing by she would yell and rail at Angel about what a horrible daughter she was and how the devil had gotten into her. She would have to do more to beat the devil in Angel.
         But Angel heard none of it. She stared off vacantly out of the window and she could only hear one thing, the bird singing in her mind. She flew with her own wings. The wind flying through her beautiful unbrushed hair. No one to hold her down ever again. All while her bird sang to her. She was free.