Second Journey to God

Not all people get second chances. When you lived a well ordained life and lost it in the middle, looking for the right path might maybe harder than what you have prepared for. We are created fragile and prone to sin. Life is a continuous struggle for perfection in search for lasting happiness, and for the religious this is only but an exile.

The pious would love to meet his Maker. God is his beginning and death is the completion of his mission where he find himself in the arms of Master. I was once a devoted Catholic who dream t of being with the people in white clothes and lives in chastity and obedience. Yes, the marvelous chants and songs of praise brings me to higher level of being - i once wanted to become a priest.

I was young then when I had the calling, and so i thought. It is that deep sense of worth that when you go to sleep at night you feel Jesus is with you. When no matter how short sleep was it was rejuvenating and the days seems to pass by swiftly.

A few years then, that was the life i lived in the Seminary. A short portion of my life which i still long for up to this very moment. Ah, that sense of peace and contentment! For some reason i ignore that calling and thought of living a different life - the normal life. To grow old with your own family and continue living forever through your children. The plight i chose that i thought would be easy has come to be the exile that I have to live through and survive without going insane or at least not losing faith.

It was just a few months ago, when I accidentally found a green book hidden for 13 years in my old room in our house. When my mother died I hated cleaning that room upstairs where she kept all our childhood memorabilia including things way back in high school.

I was removing all the old books in the cabinet. Time has eaten most of the pages. Dusty and old, these books are my favorites. I even put dates on them the exact time I acquire them. While transferring a stack, one book dropped open, revealing a picture of Mama Mary. I looked at it, as i turn to pick it up, all memories came rushing in like a storm. At the back it read, "Mary's calling you!"

It was slipped inside the book that was given to me by one of the Brothers in the Seminary. The book "Imitation of Christ." It started a whole new chapter of my life that prompt to get back on track and find my Journey back to God the second time around.