Terry and Steve

Terry is a Californian.

Steve is country Australian.

I recommend reading this out loud with accents.

They have a telephone conversation.

Steve: Hi, Terry, it’s Steve.

Terry: Oh, Hi Steve, how’s Steveworld?

Steve: Steveworld is good, Terry. Managed to get the rollercoaster fixed.

Terry: Oh, that’s good. Steveworld wasn’t the same without the rollercoaster.

Steve: Tell me about. It was almost as bad the time those frogs got in the jumping castle.

Terry: Yeah, that was a shit fight, wasn’t it?

Steve: I was so close to crapping in my hand and flinging it right at those frogs.

Terry: I’m glad you didn’t, Steve.

Steve: So glad. Wouldn’t want a repeat of the camel incedent.

Terry: That camel was such a bitch.

Steve: I know.

Terry: Though I kinda wish I hadn’t crapped in my hand and flung it right at her.

Steve: Don’t beat yourself up about it, mate.

Terry: I’m trying not to.

Steve: Hey, c’mon mate. Everyone at some stage has crapped in their hand and flung it right at something.

Terry: Or someone.

Steve: Or someone.

Terry: So why are you calling anyway, man?

Steve: You still free tonight?

Terry: Maybe man, I have to replace the filter in my water cooler, though. How come?

Steve: I ended up getting the monster truck.

Terry: Oh man, you got the monster truck?

Steve: I got the monster truck.

Terry: Oh man.

Steve: I know!

Terry: I thought you said the guy selling it was a douche?

Steve: Total douche.

Terry: But you got it anyway?

Steve: Yeah, I went round there and he was wearing a baseball cap. And I said to him, “Hey, monster truck guy. You are a douche but I like your baseball cap.”

Terry: No way!

Steve: You had to be there, mate.

Terry: What did he say?

Steve: He was all like, “I don’t even want to sell my monster truck but seeing as you like my cap.’

Terry: That’s so fucking awesome. I didn’t know you like baseball caps.

Steve: I don’t.

Terry: But you said it anyway?

Steve: I said it anyway.

Terry: You are such a frickin playa, Steve.

Steve: When you’ve bought and sold as many novelty items as I have, you get to learn your way around a douche.

Terry: I wish I knew my way around a douche.

Steve: Practice makes perfect, Terry.

Terry: I need to find more douches.

Steve: Yes you do. So anyway, you wanna come round tonight and help me paint my monster truck?

Terry: For sure, man. What colour are you painting it?

Steve: Green.

Terry: I’m busy tonight, man.