Written to my ex-lover, and to myself, trying to convince both of us I was letting go |
I was told ‘Just love someone And the rest will follow’ I tried but what I found Was not the rest But the best and worst pain That burns in my eyes Whenever I see her He said ‘Love is friends With sex.’ But she was love And friend and sex And ice cold The warmest cold I’d ever lain next to She left with a suitcase of everything I stayed with a head full of nothing But blue-sky, green-grass kisses Stars watching us watch them Someone else and No one else I remember kissing you at the train station Holding hands and walking home Trying to learn how to spell your last name Laughing with you for a decade Falling in love with music together Thinking I couldn't stand to lose you A 1000 times wanting to say I love you And not saying it once Because I was afraid that you’d do Exactly what you did. I look at you now and you're not the same Because my vision is no longer clouded Without my devotion my eyes have turned honest And I see a plain picture of a fanged girl And I don’t want you anymore Because you're not you anymore So I close my eyes to prepare my senses For the blank empty space that will take me When my fingers uncurl And the memories, painted and deformed Escape And disintegrate |