Six Seconds

“What do you fucking mean?” Joshua's mouth trembled at what he had heard. “I have done everything you asked!” He breathed heavily, both in anger and exasperation. “All those women, those innocent women...a-and children...” He trailed off for a moment, reflecting and truly, finally taking in all that he had done. “You told me...No! You PROMISED me that it would all come to an end after this. That I could return to normal, and I could stop experiencing all this pain and emotional turmoil.”

Tears built up in his eyes, tears not of sorrow, or joy, or even pain. There were no words for how he felt at this dark moment, blood still dripping from his hands and tattered suit, his tears rolling through the drops already dried to his face. “You promised me that you would bring an end to my suffering. That above all else, when I had finished your twisted list of inhumanities and met up with you here for whatever reason, and I quote 'at 6 sharp on top of the Harbor Point Tower in Chicago', that you would make me feel nothing. That all I had ever felt and will ever feel would be gone Every emotion, every heart ache, every pain of anger and envy and loneliness. Any feeling at all I experience for anyone and everyone, especially...” he paused, a calm washing over his face as he muttered in a tone of defeat “especially her...” his anger subdued temporarily he continued “Do you understand what its like? I mean, have you ever felt so strongly for another person that regardless of the day, or time, or how she looked, or what vile scum she thought was right for her at the time that inevitably broke her heart leaving me to pick up the pieces...” He took a deep breath, calming his voice once more.

“Have you ever adored some one so much that when you are looking at them, you can only see all the ways you aren't good enough for them either? Or known instantly that you would do anything in the world to get them to see you the way you see them. That nothing, not morals, not money, not any god damned thing could prevent you from doing every possible thing you could to make her love you.” He looked away from the man he was talking to, and over the lip of the building “I thought that was how I felt about her, but when you made me your original offer, I just couldn't do it. I couldn't take away the free will of the one person in the world who means more to me than my own life.” He turned back, looking the man square in the eyes as he continued.

“Then you made your second offer, to remove my feelings. To make me an unfeeling, unempathic shell of a man and I accepted this offer, knowing that as long as my love for her went unmatched, I could never truly experience any emotion even slightly similar to happiness. And when you told me what I would have to do to get this blessing of a curse, I did it without hesitation because I truly believed just maybe, just maybe you actually were him. That it was within your power to remove the emotions that have plagued me since the day I met one of gods angels walking this very earth. Now I not only still have all the love and adoration I once had for her, but now I have to live with the memories of what I did for the rest of my life, and why? Because you thought I was just playing around!”

He was screaming now, his fury blinding him rapidly “You thought this was all some kind of joke? That no man in their right mind could do the things on that list? Well guess fucking what you vile piece of shit, I'm not in my right fucking mind!” Suddenly, in this state of despair, Joshua had snapped.

The woman of whom he had these feelings for, would soon be told he had taken his life. She would deny this was possible at first, trying to find any indication that Joshua had been troubled. She would later read the coroners report again and again, trying to discern how her best friend, a man she loved like a brother and who had always done so much for her, could have done this to himself. It explained in the coroner's report that according to security footage, after a seemingly heated discussion with himself or a hallucination of some kind, he jumped off the building at 6:06:00am, and died immediately on impact. The quickness of his death would be little comfort and she would obsess over every detail of the report, locking herself away from the world for a week before becoming manic and depressed and drowning her sorrows alone, night after night, at the bar they had spent so many memorable nights together in. She would go on like this for weeks, neglecting her health, her love life, and her friends before finally breaking this cycle after meeting a handsome man, who one night approaches her with a bar napkin. He ordered drinks and wiped a tear from the corner of her eye. After some friendly discourse the handsome stranger sweetly said “Miss, I keep seeing you here at this bar night after night, and every time I do you're crying into your glass.” The stranger looked into her eyes and continued “Sweetheart, I can see that you are grieving and clearly in incredible emotion agony." She looked into his eyes, tears dripping from her face. He continued "I believe that I can help you, and if you're interested, I promise I can take your pain away." He paused and leaned in closer "forever.”