The Music in our minds

      I am 4 years old, in a yellow flannel nightgown with a pink ruffle across the bottom. It is just a little too big for me. The ruffle sweeps the floor as I walk, like the gown Cinderella wears to the ball. I hold the front up like a princess as I walk; my dirty bare toes make slapping sounds on the hardwood floor of daddy’s house. I run from my pull out bed; ducking under the old blanket, hung in the kitchen doorway for warmth. There is daddy, making his famous “Saturday morning cartoon pancakes”; which can only be eaten on Saturday mornings, while watching cartoons.

         A small smile sneaks its way across daddy’s face as he pretends not to see me. I tip toe up behind him, barely containing my giggles, and grab his leg; swinging myself around him, I shout triumphantly as I sit proudly in the toe of his boot.

         “AAAHHH!” He cries out, grabbing his chest over dramatically. “You nearly scared me to death, I think my heart is stopping. How am I ever going to get it started again?” He asked looking down at me.

         “Dance with me daddy, It makes everything better.” I smile back up at him, holding my tiny hands up to him.

         “O-kay” he laughs, pulling me to stand on his feet. Softly he sings some songs I only half remember, as we rock back and forth to the music in our minds.

         15 years later, I walk into the reception hall, dressed all in white; the guests rise as my new husband and I enter the room. The hall starts to fill with music, an old familiar song, “Daddy’s Hands” by Holly Dunn; Smiling, my husband hands me over to my father. His eyes are misty and he looks so young in his best suit. He leans forward and whispers to me.

         “You look so beautiful today, I think my heart is stopping. How am I ever going to get it started again?” His arms encircle my waist as slow tears roll down one cheek.

         “Dance with me daddy, It makes everything better.” I smile back at him, barely containing my own tears.

         “O-kay.” He laughs, as I lay my head on his shoulder and he begins to hum an old half remembered song in my ear. And we rock back and forth to the music in our minds.