Super Bowl

As the sweat drips into my eyes,

I feel its sting for the first time.

My adrenaline no longer protects me from the pain.

In my body,

My knees, my shins, my head

Yes, everything hurt.

And now it was for naught.

Had the entire year just been for nothing?

Another season down.

And my body knows so very well how limited they are.

All the options run through your mind;

Cry?

Scream?

Run away?

Put on a fake smile?

Try and put on a real smile…find the bright side…

No, back to one of the first 4.

I ran through what felt like every single play in my mind,

Which ones we should have made,

Which ones we should have seen coming.

Is this helping?

As we prepare to head into the locker room,

It stabs into my chest the lack of black and yellow left in the crowd.

They’ve already gone.

The laughs and smiles in the crowd are muffled blurs.

The sinking in my heart feels as if it could drag me to the ground.

But only a few more steps and I can be free of this shame,

I can finally hide.

Reflect, sulk, move on, the choice will be my own,

And my teammates’.

Here at last.

And then there it was like a bullet heading straight for my face.

A microphone.

And the light from the camera like a spotlight on my shattered spirit...

“Ben,can you tell us what is going through your mind right now?”

It passed through my ears like liquid poison streaming down my throat.

As I smiled, I pictured two helpful tiny men holding my mouth in this forced shape with wire hooks.

“It was a good game, we played together as a team, but they did that just a little bit better.  They are a great team. We’ll get em’ next year”.”