I may be dead

She was trapped; behind the confines of my unstable mentality. She was alone; cold without the warmth of my adoration. I threw her away, forgot about her physical presence, just as the others had done to me. I'm a hypocrite; wrong in my actions. I'm hurting; my heart is bleeding, being ripped out of my chest by the soft hands of an infant! She is killing me slowly, from the inside out. She is turning my being into a incomprehensible vision of black.

My body hurts each morning, is weighed down my the memory of her kin, that memory pushes down on my shoulders; breaks my collarbone. That memory, it captivates me; compels me to save my sister from the hands of God. I cry myself to sleep at night, I can sense her crying alongside me. We weep together; I cry until I have no will left. She continues, her wavering voice, gently rolling like the the tides of the ocean by my ear. Her breath showers the surface of my skin, bloodies the surface of my body. Her touch, while I'm sleeping, boils my blood inside of me. She as well, is killing me, from the inside out.

Why won't she love me? What did I do wrong? What did I do to hurt my big sister? I loved her to every exent humanly feasible for my small, fragile frame to handle. I wanted her with a desire so strong, it bruised the supple surface of my (living) childish skin. I crawl to she, I beg on my knees! "Accept me! Love me!" That is all I want. Though my mother, my father, my brother and my sister all are infatuated with laughs, my smiles, and my tears, I would give it all up, for just a day of her attention. I would give it All up, to take a up a single moment of her time!

I need it, because I'm dying. I'm so young, and I'm still dying. She's killing me! She's watching me gag and writhe on my gentle air!

I want to live, but I haven't long.

I watch my sisters from above, I see them with my eyes. I am an angel. I cry with the oldest, I hold her hand. I'm dead, but I die again when I'm with her. She makes my skin crawl with rage. Anger towards the fact that she could just watch the ONE PERSON who loves she without question, become hollwed out emotionally by her indifferance. It makes me sick! It makes my body quiver! It makes me shake with a PASSION. I love them both, I want them both. But how can I love the oldest, whe she hates the youngest? I can I love those who prey upon the broken innocent. I want them both to become bound within my memory. I my be dead, but I am here.