Boogies For Breakfast

Tricia Nolan                                                                                                               
Picture Book
Young Children
600 words
                                                 



                                          Boogies for Breakfast


         “Did you know that monsters eat boogies for breakfast?” asked Isabel one morning, finger knuckle deep up her nose.
          “Ewwee!!!” squealed her little brother, Jamie, with glee. (Jamie loved to hear about monsters. And boogies.)
         “Isabel . . .” warned her mommy, “you are not a monster, so please use a tissue.”

         “Did you know humans eat squishy oatmeal for breakfast?” Kraken gleefully informed his daddy, “and they drink the juice from crushed oranges!”
          “Kraken, keep your tentacles out of the pet bowl,” said his daddy, “and do not put that oatmeal in your mouths.”
         “Yucky!!!”  gurgled his younger sister, Medusa, with delight.  (Medusa enjoyed stories about humans.  Especially the gross ones.)

         Isabel gave a report on monsters to her class.  “Monsters eat fried lice for lunch and earwax for snacks.  They study slugs and bugs at school and swing on wet noodles at recess!”
         “Blech!!!” laughed the other children. (They thought her report on monsters was the best thing they had learned all year.)
         “Oh, Isabel,” chuckled Mr. Max, “you have quite the imagination.”

         Kraken shared more strange people-facts with his friends while doing complicated noodle swings. “Human kids hit and kick balls, splash around in slippery cold water and twist themselves into funny shapes.  They call it ‘playing sports’!” 
         “Ouch!” yelped his best friend, Gryffin, landing perfectly on a spike cushion. “How do they do all that without getting hurt?”
         “I have no idea,” replied Kraken.

         Isabel practiced cartwheels at gymnastics.  “Monsters paint pictures with fish guts and they make Mother’s Day cards out of rotting garbage!”
         “Stinky!” exclaimed her friend Lucia. “How can they stand the smell?”
         “Their Mommies love the stinkiest cards the best,” replied Isabel.

         Kraken told Medusa more human stories while painting fish-gut pictures.  “Kids draw with colored wax crayons and make macaroni necklaces for their mommies!”
         “Grody!” chortled Medusa, adding another fish eyeball to her Mother’s Day card.
         Kraken wondered if human mommies actually wore the necklaces.

         At dinner Isabel educated her family further about monsters.  “Did you know that monsters’ favorite dinner food is moldy socks smothered in jellyfish sauce?  And they love toe-jam pie for dessert!”
         “Nasty!”  snickered Jamie, relishing his juicy hamburger.
         “Not at the dinner table, Isabel,” admonished her daddy.

         Kraken really warmed to the topic at home.  “Humans eat meat sandwiches for dinner.  Sometimes they even have globs of ice cream with crunchy sprinkles and melted chocolate fudge on it for dessert!”
         “Gross!!!” giggled Medusa.
         “Please, Kraken, do you have to talk like that while I’m trying to enjoy my toe-jam pie?” asked his mother in exasperation.

         Isabel kept exploring the subject of monsters while she got ready for bed. “They brush their teeth with stink-bug paste, and take baths in belly button lint!”
         “Pthhhhh!!!” sputtered Jamie, spitting out his toothpaste.
         “Keep it in the sink please, Jamie,” their mommy gently reminded him.

         During his bath Kraken declared, “Kids use bubblegum flavored toothpaste, take warm water bubble baths and wear fuzzy footsie pajamas!”          
         “Icky!!!” cried Medusa, scrubbing out one of her ears with some purple lint.
         “It’s time for your slime pod, Kraken,” said his daddy. “You can tell us all about those interesting humans again tomorrow.”

         As Isabel’s parents tucked into her soft sheets she sighed “Lucky monsters . . .” 
         “Shhh, Sweetie, go to sleep,” hushed her mommy. “You can come up with more fun monster facts at breakfast.”

When the whole house was quiet, Isabel slipped out of bed and peeked in her closet door.  “Kraken,” she whispered, “I have to ask you something . . .”