The Old Book

Mary was an eclectic girl I met online. After doing the online dating dance, we met each other at a downtown coffee shop. Things were going well, so I suggested going to a small second hand bookstore called Funky, Quirky, Pretentious. She liked the idea, so we left the coffee shop and walked to the bookstore.

I opened the door for her and we went inside. The smell of old books enveloped us. Mary looked around the bookstore and said, "I like this place because it doesn't have a coffee shop and you can smell the books." She added, "That probably sounds weird to you."

I liked the smell of books too. "Liking a bookstore? Yeah, that is weird."

She said playfully, "I was talking about the smell of books, silly." We browsed a few minutes together before she wandered off to the arts and crafts section. I ended up at a table of well worn books that looked like refugees from a yard sale.

One particular book caught my eye. It was a book from one of my favorite authors, Matt Lawder. The book, Dying of Darkness, was the first of a series of books about Thomas Walsh, hard-boiled private investigator.

I had all the Matt Lawder books in first edition hardcover, but not Dying of Darkness. There wasn't a big demand for Matt Lawder books, and Dying of Darkness was long out of print. I tried to find an electronic version on Amazon and at the Gutenberg Project, but no luck. But here was a hardcover edition of Dying of Darkness in a second hand bookstore.

I picked up the book and it felt like it would fall apart in my hands. The binding was loose and I was afraid the pages would fall out. But all the pages looked to be there and it had the familiar old book smell.

I looked at copyright page and it was a first edition. I thought about buying it, but it was in sad condition compared to my other Lawder books. I almost put the book down when I happened to look in the inside cover. The book was autographed by Matt Lawder! The autograph looked legitimate, but the message was puzzling.

"Margie, thanks for the wonderful weekend! Matt Lawder." Who was Margie? A fan? A friend? A lover? I checked the publishing date. If I remembered correctly, Matt was married to a lady named Phyllis when he wrote the book. I heard stories of Matt's womanizing. This raised my curiosity and if the price was right, I would buy the book.

Mary showed up at my side. "What are you looking at?"

"It's a out of print book by Matt Lawder, one of my favorite authors. He autographed the book for a woman named Margie."

She had a curious look on her face. "May I see it?"

"Sure." I handed the book to her.

Her forehead furrowed when she looked at the inside cover. "This brings back memories."

"About what?"

She said quietly, "My mom's name was Margie. She passed away a few years ago from cancer. She was a free spirit and she wasn't married when I was born. When I was older, Mom said had an affair with Matt Lawder just before I was born." She looked down at the book. "I remember this book. My mom had it when I was a kid. She sold it at a garage sale."

What a surprise. Here was a book written and autographed by one of my favorite authors, given to Mary's mother. A great weekend. An affair with Matt before Mary was born. "Is there a chance you might be.."

"Matt Lawder's daughter? Mom claims I am and she even tried to get Matt to submit to a paternity test. But he wouldn't do it. He was married at the time and he dismissed my mom as a crank." She clutched the book like it was an old memory. "After a while, my mom married a good man who became the father I didn't have."

It was hard to believe what I was hearing. I was with a lady who might be the daughter of Matt Lawder. "Have you ever met him?"

"No, I haven't." Mary looked stern."And to be honest, I wouldn't want to meet him."

From what she told me, I could understand why. I began to feel a little awkward, unsure what to say. I finally said, "I'm sorry to hear this. I hope it didn't bring up any bad memories."

She gave the book back to me and said evenly, "It's ok." But I could tell she was troubled. "Hey, I've had a great time, but I need to go."

It looked like the date was over. "Uh, sure. I can walk you to your car."

"No, that's ok." She quickly added, "I'll call you."

I had a feeling she wouldn't call me. "Promise?"

"I promise." She gave me a wan smile and headed to the door. I wanted to say something, but instead I watched her leave the bookstore.

I looked at the book, trying to take in what just happened. Funny how an old book can bring up memories. A date and a potential relationship with Mary might have ended, but the night wasn't a total loss. I bought the book for a dollar, completing my Matt Lawder hardcover collection.