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Rated: XGC · Fiction · Comedy · #1813192
For the Weekly Quickie Contest
Corn Blight


The year of 2010 had been a bad one for the corn, with way too much rain and not enough sunlight for the kernels to harden properly. It was near dusk, and Cletus squinted at the brownish-black blob dominating one of the ears.

“Dayum that corn blight, I’m gunna be lucky if I get two hunnert for the whole lot.” He grumbled to himself as he tossed the ear into the woods.

“Ayup, it’s a bad year to be a farmer,” he complained as he pushed through the creaky screen door of his old farmhouse. He sat down on a lawn chair to remove his crusted boots and massaged his swollen feet through his threadbare socks.

He heard a sound like a coyote in the distance and raised his head to peer in that direction. Right near the edge of the woods, where the corn cob had probably landed, was a pulsating yellowish light.

“What in tarnation?” He mused, and grabbed his favorite shotgun and flashlight. He slid into his house slippers and left to investigate.

The dewy grass shloshed at the foamy fabric of the footwear, and before he had reached the woods they were like engorged, spongy lampreys on his insteps.

The glow had grown to a larger circle, about five feet in diameter.

An acute electronic thrumming pierced his eardrums and he dropped the shotgun and flashlight to protect his ears.

He grimaced in horror and pain as he saw the earth vibrate in the center of the circle, and a gnarled object loosely resembling a human hand clawed its way to the surface. The rest of the creature followed and stood up to its full height, just a little taller than Cletus. Its skin was the color of milk gravy, and its eyes were enormous and dark orange, like two pear-shaped egg yolks. They glistened menacingly as the creature opened its mouth.

“Blarg nargle flarg marg,” it said.

“Blarg flargle THIS!” Cletus screamed, and scrambled for the shot gun.

Before Cletus reached his weapon, a long, slimy protrusion emerged from the creatures misshapen crotch and wrapped itself around him. With one massive jerk, the hideous thing dragged Cletus into the earth and the hole closed, leaving nothing but crickets chirping.

Cletus woke up on a long metal table, underneath a large, bright light. He was naked, except for a swath of coarse fabric stretched across his important parts. The same creature, along with others like it, surrounded him.

“Neeg blargle flarg,” one of them said.

“Jeeg blargle flarg,” the other replied.

“Neeg jeeg nargle… Garg!” answered the last one. Cletus saw the slack elongated member dangling between its deformed legs and knew it was the one that brought him here. For some odd reason, looking at that penis thing got him a little excited.

A more shapely being, probably a female of their species, entered the room and handed the original one a tray full of interesting objects. Cletus’s heart skipped a beat. He’d heard of anal probing before, and the things laying on that tray looked like they could be used for all manner of things. He stared in amazement at the tent he was creating under the white fabric sheet.

His breathing quickened as the female selected an object from the tray and approached him.

“Neegle,” She demanded.

“Neegle? What in the blue blazes is neegle?”

Cletus started to whimper in fear, but the female bent over him, dangling an oblong breast with a conical black nipple.

“Neegle,” she repeated.

“Okay, okay, I’ll neegle!” Cletus grabbed the female’s bag in his hand and sucked the nipple in his mouth. Instantly, small sharp appendages exited the nipple and attached themselves to the inside of his oral cavity. It should have hurt, but it gave him an intense surge of pleasure that made his erection grow to an obscene height.

Cletus was pinned to the table with her nipple spikes, so the scream he tried to elicit went unheard as she peeled the sides from her selected object and presented it at his sensitive backside. Suddenly, he didn’t care anymore, the urge to come overwhelmed him and he sucked the nipple spikes deeper into his throat as the female slowly slid the vibrating probe inside his anus.

He climaxed instantly, causing a dark circle to soak the sheet over him. The female convulsed on top of him and if he didn’t know any better, he’d swear she was having a good one herself.

He woke the next morning, lying next to the cornfield, stark naked, feeling like he had a mouth full of nettles. His back door hurt a little too, but it was a welcome hurt. He glanced plaintively at the scorched piece of earth that initiated his crazy encounter, and felt a pang of sadness.

Cletus stood up, brushed away the pieces of leaves and dirt, and looked at his cornfield. The blight was gone, and all the cobs stood up in glorious, perfect, firm yellow ears, ripe for the picking. He broke one off, smiled wryly to himself and headed for his house.


851 words


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