The Bored Website: Fun and Games(Part 2)

((Disclaimer:  The bit of text you are about to read contains a little sex and associated naughtiness.  You know how this works.  If you can't, shouldn't, are too young to, or don't wanna sear your virgin eyes with such smut, do not continue.  I'll not be held responsible.  It also contains themes of transgender transformation.  You have been warned.  Thank you.))










         To say that I was displeased would have been a fairly huge understatement. 

         There I was, sitting at my desk, and staring down fiercely enough I was surprised the piece of notebook paper I had spent the last hour and a half fighting with didn’t burst into flames.

         I didn’t get it.  Everything appeared to be in order.  I had gone back to The Bored Website and researched in greater depth some of the things I had ordered from them recently.  These pens were supposed to make anything written with them come true.  What I didn’t understand is why they worked flawlessly regarding anything except me.  I had already turned my coffee-table into a cat, made 100 bucks appear out of thin air, and paid all the light bills for this year.

         I sighed in frustration as I flicked my ass length golden blonde hair back over my shoulders for what seemed to be the hundredth time.  This feminine gesture provoked a short growl.  Jamie had doctored my shampoo before she left, giving me that amazing head of hair, which had proven to be indestructible.  I couldn’t cut it, couldn’t burn it, and couldn’t even pull it out a strand at a time. 

         My last hope had been the most potent liquid hair remover I could buy.  My eyebrows had grown back within just a few moments, but it had no effect on my scalp whatsoever.  The rest of my body was completely hair free though, thanks to my poorly thought out scheme.  Silky smooth, and guaranteed to stay that way from the next 30 days or ‘your money back‘.  Having a shaved head I could deal with, but this hair, combined with the lack of hair anywhere else, was making me feel far too girly, and reminded me of some of the things Jamie had done to me the other night that I had enjoyed much more than I cared to admit. 

         I had resolved to follow Jamie’s advice and try using the toys I had ordered to fix things, but now, it looks like I discovered another of Jamie’s little surprises.

         Brushing that damned hair out of my eyes (again!), I made a frustrated noise and stormed off to the kitchen in search of a rubber band or a twist-tie, anything I could use to tie it back and out of my face.

         I had thus far made three attempts to use the pens to fix this hair.  The effects those pens had actually produced had first styled it, giving it even more body, shine, and wave; made it the same length all over, blocking my vision and annoyingly slipping in front of my eyes every time I moved my head too much; and lastly, to make me sub-consciously behave as though I had always had hair this long.  I found that out when I caught myself twirling a lock around my finger whilst think of how to word my next attempt.  I had even been humming, for Pete’s sake! 

         Having finally secured my spray of golden tresses back into a ponytail, I took a seat at my desk again, and picked up the pen.  I could detect nothing wrong with the way I had written my requests, so I was about to test something that I really didn’t want to be right about.

         “James Bryant is wearing a pair of blue jeans and tee shirt.”  I needed to know if I could change things relating to myself, but not actually ME, per se.  I looked down.

         *snort*  I couldn’t help but shake my head and chuckle mirthlessly at the smooth, hairless legs being showcased in a tight pair of denim short shorts, and a light blue halter top exposing three or four inches of stomach.  At least I was in decent shape.

         Giving up on the pens for now, I walked out of the living room and went to my closet to change.  I might as well just get cleaned up, and go unwind a bit until I thought of something else.  I had just walked past the changing screen by my closet when I felt that strange sensation, like my skin was being adjusted the way you would adjust a shirt to make it hang right.
         At the exact same moment, I realized my mistake.  The changing screen I had also ordered from the website, completely on a whim.  It made anyone who stood behind it change to match whatever clothing they were wearing at the time.  I quickly surveyed myself to confirm that I was indeed completely female once again. 

         “At least this I should be able to fix with relative ease,” I thought to myself.  All I had to do was get myself properly dressed and walk behind the screen once more.  Simple, right?

         With the kind of timing that made me think it was pre-planned, I had just reached for the knob to open my closet when there came a knock at the front door.  I was torn between missing something important and the need to have my masculinity restored, and I hesitated.  “The hell with it.”  I decided.  My closet wasn’t going anywhere.

         I bounced up to the door and looked through the peep hole.  Lo and behold, there stood the delivery guy, Jake, if I remembered correctly.  “What the hell is he doing there?  Well…might as well ask him, huh?”

         Jake seemed properly confused when I signed for the package he had brought, instead of the man I had been the last time he was here.  He quickly caught on though, and started grinning.  Smug little punk.

         After all was said and done, I was rather startled to discover that the purpose of this visit had been to deliver a thank-you prize, from the owner of The Bored Website, no less! 

         Opening the package on my kitchen table, I was understandably confused to discover that it was empty.  I stood scratching my head through that mane of golden goodness, and then simply reaffirmed my earlier opinion that anyone who just gave away magical trinkets like these for free must be a nut case.  I gave up on figuring it out, and went back to my room with the intention of change clothes and getting my penis back.

         Inside my closet, I took a moment to admire my naked body in the mirror for a few moments before putting on the pants and black polo shirt I had chosen.  I had to admit, that screen did a good job.  I wasn’t too busty, but had a decent sized chest, with a slender waist and nice pert ass.  My hips weren’t too wide, but obviously wider than they had been as a guy.  My face was cute, but still had a resemblance to my original form.  “I could easily pass as my own sister, if need be,” I thought to myself as I reached for my chosen selection of clothing.

         Having changed into a pair of jeans and a black polo shirt, I was back in my living room, and none too happy.  Seems that screen was in on it, too, because it hadn’t changed my face at all, nor had my body hair returned.  I had tried several different combinations of clothes, but with the same results.  I had given up on figuring out why it wasn’t changing my face, and just resigned myself to ordering something new from the website that would cure me without having been tainted by Jamie’s little joke.

         I pulled out my computer chair, happy I at least had my masculinity back below the chin (sitting on a woman’s shapely ass had made the chair feel strange).  Flicking on the computer, I waited for the boot-up to complete.  I picked up the pen I had been using, and idly started twirling it around between my fingers while waiting, as I thought about my situation.

         I could order something to fix this mess, and maybe see if they had a customer support area that could undo whatever traps Jamie had lain on my new toys.  But anything I ordered wouldn’t be here till tomorrow, at the earliest, so what the hell was I going to do for the rest of the day?

         Finally able to access the internet, I broke off from my musings and got started searching for a solution.

         Two hours later, I logged off the net and put my PC into sleep mode.  I hadn’t had any luck finding a customer support page, but I did at least manage to order a photo-manipulation program that I thought might be useful.  I had gotten side-tracked after that, distracted by all the neat stuff that could be mine, free of charge!  I managed to keep the new order to a minimum, but it hadn’t been easy.

         Now, what to do with my time until my order arrived?  Don’t get me wrong, I was half tempted to just turn myself into a chick again and play with myself all day!  But, I just wasn’t willing to let Jamie win that easily.  It isn’t as if being a girl was unpleasant or anything.  There was a load of pleasure to be had, but it just too damned embarrassing!  I was a man, for the love of God, and the thought of being separated from my manhood was something I had been conditioned to find intolerable.

         My eyes fell upon the remote control I had ordered, and I thought: “Why not?”  I could go out, have a little fun at someone else’s expense for a change, and maybe even figure out this whole mess.  I would have to read the manual again before I did anything with it, but that wouldn’t take too long.

         So in short order, I loaded up into my pink Mini-Cooper (it used to be a big white Jeep.  I guess Jamie ‘forgot’ to change it back when she left.), and took off for the River Walk.  I had one of those pens in the glove box, and the ‘Universal Remote Control’ riding shotgun.

         The River Walk is so called for rather obvious reasons.  It consists of about 3 miles of shops, bars, restaurants, cafes, and vendors of assorted questionable merchandise.  The whole thing is built with alternating stretches of boards and cement lining both sides of the river, which branches about half a mile before the River Walk begins, looping around and ensuring water traffic an alternate route so as to maintain their speed.  This shopping area was a no-wake zone.

         I pulled into a parking lot at the northern end, and took a moment to comb the worst tangles out of my new hair.  I didn’t like having this long blonde mane, but I wanted to be at least presentable.  Besides, I was much more likely to draw attention if I looked like a slob.  I was always small for a guy, and slim-built, so my feminine face and hair would make me look like a (very) pretty boy, instead of seeming incredibly out of place.  Unless I ran into someone who knew me very well, only I would know that I wasn’t supposed to look like this at all!

         Finished, I tied my hair back again, grabbed the remote, and off I went.  With the remote tucked into my back pocket, I strolled along, passing shops and restaurants, savoring the smells and the sights of people enjoying their spring break.  A little bar and grill about halfway down the Walk struck me as a prime location for people-watching, and to give my feet a break.  Hey, they even had small tables set under beach umbrellas out on a kind of patio in front of the place!  It seemed about perfect.

         I had been right: I was drawing more attention than usual, but nobody really seemed to find my appearance out of the ordinary.  When my beer was delivered by a very cute red haired girl in shorts and a white tee shirt with a tasteful logo on the upper right breast, my attention was peaked.  She smiled at me as she counted out my change, and I couldn’t help but admire her long legs as she turned to another table.  She didn’t have an abundance of curves, but was more athletic in her build.  Probably a cheerleader, or maybe even a volleyball player, I assumed.  An almost evil grin slid across my features as I decided that she’d do nicely for my first little test.

         I took a sip of my beer, noting with pleasure the frost melting at my touch.  Nothing better on a hot summer day than an ice cold beer!  I held the remote between my lap and the table, found the buttons I wanted, and flagged her down.  She smiled again as she walked over, and pulled out a small notepad when she saw the food menu by my elbow.  I made a show of deciding exactly what I wanted to order as I pushed the button sequence I had memorized.  I knew the changes wrought by the remote could be as fast or as slow as I wanted, but I went slowly, so as not to cause her to panic right away.

         She rapidly wrote down my order, seeming not to notice as her breasts slowly began to fill out.  She asked me what sides I wanted, allowing me to stall for time, entranced with the movement under her shirt.  I wanted to stare and admire her swelling endowments, but knew that would give me away, and probably annoy her, too.

         As the small burst of growth ended, I pulled open the thin menu and ran a finger down the list of sides.  As I pretended to choose, I hit another button combination, and then looked up again to ask what she recommended.

         “Well, we have awesome fries, but the hush puppies are pretty darned good too!” she said, and I almost giggled as her entire body enlarged slightly.  She had just gained almost 3 inches in height, concealed by her shift in stance.  I went ahead and asked for the hush puppies while she adjusted the waistband of her shorts without thinking.  She smiled again, and walked back to the bar to place my order.  I had to admit, her ass looked much better in those shorts now that they were a few sizes too small.  I guessed she was just a bit taller than my 5’8” now, and her breasts looked to be a nice handful, straining against her too-small bra, the outlines of which could be clearly seen pressed into her shirt.

         I took another sip of beer, and turned my attention back to the passers-by.  And I had quite a selection, indeed!  I turned my attention to a guy who was obviously bugging a couple of girls from out of town.  He wasn’t a bad looking guy, I decided.  His board shorts matched the dark blue Under-armor shirt he was wearing, and even though he hadn’t shaved in about a week, his face wasn’t too bad either.  I guess he thought that his looks made up for his obnoxiousness, though, cause the girls he was hitting on had just told him to go fuck himself for the third time since I had been watching.  This was gonna be fun!

         Putting him on mute managed to end his torrent of cheesy pick-up lines, and the girls quickened their pace with obvious relief in the blessed silence.  The guy just stood there, on hand at his throat, his mouth working rapidly but not a peep to be heard.  “I wonder what else is on,” I mumbled out loud as I hit the ‘channel change’ button.

         I couldn’t help but chuckle a bit as he turned into Sponge Bob, Jay Leno, Hilary Clinton, and one of the guys from that wrestling show I never watch, in rapid succession.  I grinned like a maniac as I switched to the porn channel, and my victim was instantly transformed into a little blonde hotty clad in a skimpy cheerleader’s outfit.  I stopped for a moment to watch him stare at herself in wide-eyed shock.  She had a very nice body, like the perfect girl next door, and that outfit showed it off wonderfully.

         The former man looked around wildly, and seemed about to take off running, so I hit another button and watched her start posing seductively in various parodies of common cheerleader poses.  She seemed to be mimicking the movements of whatever porn actress she now looked like.  I paused her in one I thought looked promising, leaving her standing with her legs spread wide apart, hands on her hips and chest out-thrust.  A few more button presses and I had removed her cheerleader uniform, to be replaced by a tiny little black dress, leaving her back bare and stopping just short of exposing her thong panties.

         I unpaused her, and did my best to keep a straight face as she tried to scream in shock, her hands not knowing what they should be doing and flailing about crazily.  Her honey blonde hair kept falling across her face, and I immediately felt better knowing I wasn’t the only one with that problem.  I left her muted, but as she scampered away down the River Walk (I assume to find her car and get as far from here as possible), I gave her breasts a surge of growth.  She made quite a sight trying to run with her new figure, both hands holding her swelling chest as each breast rapidly ballooned in size.  They would protrude from her ribcage a good 8 inches when she finally let them go, but of course she couldn’t do that while she was running or they’d probably knock her out!

         Now, I know what you are thinking.  You think I’m a total jerk, and maybe that line about power corrupting is running through your mind, am I right?  Well, if you are, chill.  I’m not a complete asshole, though my apprenticeship is coming along nicely.  You see, the remote had certain safety features build in, and I had been making use of them.  Not for the waitress, of course, but for something this major, certainly.  The changes would slowly wear off in the same order they had been applied over the course of a day, starting about 12 hours from the time they were applied.  Plenty of time for the new girl to stew, getting nicely acquainted with her predicament, but not leaving her stuck that way forever.  Less fun, perhaps, but far more moral.

         Anyway, I had just decided to curtail the rest of my fun, lest I draw too much attention to myself, when my food arrived.  It was excellent timing, to say the least: my little cheerleader had been drawing quite a crowd, and I needed to let them disperse a little before I tried anything that flashy again. 

My waitress had apparently removed her ill-fitting brassiere, if the way her chest bounced around under her t-shirt was any indication.  She was blushing cutely, knowing exactly what had drawn my attention, but she smiled anyway as she set down my order and asked if I needed anything.

I didn’t, but I did take the opportunity to increase her bust yet again as she walked away.  I had no idea what size bra she would require now, but she looked to be a bit larger in the chest than that porn starlet had been when I first changed that annoying horn dog into her.  She seemed to notice her new size pretty quickly this time, and shot a look back at me as she adjusted course for the restrooms.  I couldn’t read her expression, but I figured it was time to go, in case she decided to confront me.  I tossed a 10 dollar bill on the table, stuck the remote in my back pocket, and scooped up my burger and my beer.

         “They really do make a damn good burger,” I thought as I washed the last of it down with another swallow of beer.  I had ducked behind a souvenir shop a few dozen yards down the Walk to finish my meal.  I tossed the empty bottle in a nearby trashcan and decided to wander further up the boardwalk when I got the strangest feeling.  Dramatic music would be appropriate about now, but our special effects budget is a little thin this quarter.

         Something was off.  I couldn’t put my finger on it, but I just knew that something was…different.  Of course, given my state at the time, I might have just been feeling paranoid, I thought.  The hair, the face, the way my clothes felt, rubbing across my skin without that fine buffer of body hair…all of it was disturbingly different.  Foreign.  Suspecting that I had been busted (no pun intended) by that cute red-head had me a little more on edge, too.  At least some of the differences in my body had a few benefits, though.  Like not having to shave, and feeling a little cooler in the humid southern heat.

Then something hit me, when I caught sight of myself in one of the shop windows as I passed.  I stopped in my tracks, and carefully took a few steps forward, paying careful attention to the way my body moved.  No…no, I guess it wasn’t that.  Everything seemed to be in order… So I continued on my way with a shrug, flipping my hair back over my shoulder like I’d done it all my life.  This time, though, I noticed it immediately: I was walking like a girl!

         It took me a few tries and a little experimentation to figure it out, but I finally had it.  For some reason, unless I was consciously making an attempt, I was moving just like a girl.  Or I should say: in a decidedly feminine manner.  When I walked, I was placing one foot directly in front of the other, causing my hips to sway slightly, while moving my upper torso as little as possible.  Added to that, I seemed to be exaggerating that sway a bit, making it more pronounced, while keeping my hands and arms down at my sides, palms down and hands open, just like a girl.  What the hell?!

         It goes without saying that after noticing that, I was making a conscious effort NOT to do it, but…  Well, you get tired of focusing on something that is supposed to be done without thinking.  After a while, my mind wandered back to my situation, and what on earth could be causing it, and my body language went right back to being feminine with an easy grace that suggested I’d been doing it for years, instead of minutes.

         I really should have noticed sooner that my movements weren’t the only things changing.  I should have noticed that my jeans were getting tighter, too.  I should have noticed the subtle shifting in color as they lightened, the way the cuffs flared a little bit while the rest of them hugged my legs.  I should have noticed that they didn’t seem to come up as high on my waist as they were supposed to.  All I can say is: I was distracted.

         I made it about two thirds of the way down the board walk before I noticed that the sun would be going down shortly.  I knew from experience that would be when the place really started hopping.  It was then that I got my next big surprise, and it started with a stomach cramp.

         You know that feeling you get when you run too far, too fast?  That little stitch in your side?  Well, I got it.  Got one on both sides, actually.  It made me stop walking, thinking that I might have been exerting myself too much.  Crazy, right?  I mean here I am, an athletic young man in the prime of my life and pretty decent shape, if I say so myself, thinking that WALKING might have pushed me too much?  Yeah.  I had a blonde moment, though I wouldn’t have called it that at the time.  I can laugh about it now, of course, but I digress.

         There I was, standing near the rail overlooking the river, waiting for the pain to go away and watching the catfish catching bugs on the surface of the water, when I reached up and held a hand on my side, the way people do when something hurts.  It took a few more moments for me to realize that my body was moving under my hand, shifting ever so slightly under my shirt!  My waist was pinching in, just a tiny little bit at a time!  The pain must have been my innards getting themselves out of the way.

         I decided right then and there that I had better get my ass out of dodge.  I mean, okay, I could understand the way I was walking shifting slightly.  Jamie’s little joke must have been set off again somehow, maybe by me using the remote.  But this?  I assumed it was her doing, but what triggered it this time?  I knew she could have done much, much more if she wanted too, and I at least wanted to be in the privacy of my car or at home behind closed doors if she did!

         So I was kind of speed-walking down the river walk, arms crossed over my stomach and holding my sides while my waist continued to shrink by fractions of an inch, when some joker smacked me on the ass!  I guess I couldn’t blame him, really.  But I did.  Unfortunately, it was getting a little crowded on the board walk now, and even though I spun quickly, planning to give him a sock on the jaw, I had no idea who it was that had done it.  There was only the crowd.  My attention was drawn back to all that golden hair, though, as the weight pulled gently on my scalp as I turned.

         Then I got another little surprise.  It started with a kind of bloated feeling, and a sensation that bordered on being a dull ache, deep in my abdomen.  This change wasn’t as slow as my waist, though (which seemed to have finally stopped compressing, letting the pain fade just in time for this new concern).  I walked faster, hips swaying, but it was no use.  I might as well have tried outrunning the west wind, for all the good it was going to do me.

         That bloated feeling got a little worse…then a little more…and then, with a feeling like someone blowing up a balloon inside my pelvis, my hips started to expand, spreading further and further apart!  As they widened (and I noticed my gate becoming even more girlish now that there was more for it to sway with each step) that’s when I noticed my changed jeans.  I was wearing a pair of low-rise girl’s blue jeans that hugged my hips tightly while they pushed outwards.

         I was back to the halfway point when my hips finally gave me a break, and stopped widening.  It didn’t end there, though.  Oh, no.  It looked like I was really getting the treatment today, as that swelling sensation, like a balloon being inflated inside me, just started to push backwards instead of side to side, filling out my ass!

         My hands flew back to my butt the moment I realized what was happening, feeling it spreading out slowly inside my jeans, pressing back more and more into my hands.  “Wait a second,” I thought.  Where’s the remote?!  These things don’t even have back pockets!!  Wide-eyed with panic, I looked around me, but there was nothing to be seen.  The remote was gone, and I had no idea when, where, or who might have found it.

         I suddenly had myself an all-new concern. I mean, what if someone found it and figured out what it did, and without knowing exactly HOW to use it, since I had the instructions back at home?  But I was much more worried about myself, especially since I now seemed to be carrying a black leather ‘pocket book’ in my left hand: a stand-in for my wallet.  I tried to think, but couldn’t remember how it had gotten there, or when.  I just knew that it was mine, because it was in my hand and had my stuff in it.  See how easy it is to get distracted by the little things?  I completely missed the fact that someone might have found it already…

         Well, thankfully, my ass didn’t get outrageous or anything.  It stopped at what I would have called a perfect tear-drop shape.  Hell, it might not have even been noticeable on a larger guy, but with my slight build, combined with my widened hips, pinched-in waist, and the way I moved?  You bet your ass it got me plenty of attention.  Hell, even I had to admit that I looked like a girl.  Maybe a flat-chested one (for which I was extremely grateful), but a girl none the less.  The hair and face really sold it, but from behind it was almost perfect.

         I had made it almost back to my car when I noticed the way my hair had changed.  It was a subtle thing, so subtle in fact that I had no idea when it had happened.  But instead of a kind of gentle tugging all over my scalp, it was more concentrated in two areas, just behind and above my ears.  Reaching up, I discovered that all that waist length blonde hair I’d been cursed with was now pulled into a pair of pigtails, sticking up and out from either side before falling back behind me like twin waterfalls of spun gold.  Would this torment never end?!

         Without really thinking about it, I pulled open the driver’s side door of my car and jumped in, already fishing around in my ‘purse’ (let’s be honest.  It might have just been a pocket book, but to me it was a purse) fishing out the keys.  I scowled, realizing that I would have to adjust the seat and all the mirrors, thanks to my cushy new ass, when I discovered that I was not alone in the car.  Nope, there in the passenger seat sat that cute little waitress with whom I had a little fun earlier.  At her expense.  She was holding the remote in her lap, tapping the pen I had left in the glove box on a small notebook (also mine), grinning at me like the Cheshire Cat.

         I sat there dumbstruck, completely at a lack for words.  What the hell could I say?  She had obviously found the remote when it was dropped, followed me, and was more than likely the one to blame for some, if not all, of the changes I had gone through here today.  But how had she known which car was mine?  How had she known about the pen?!  I could see that there was already a line or two written in that notebook…had she been using that to change me as well?!

         She answered a few of my questions for me, without me having to ask them.  “Hello there!  Been having fun, I hope?  Isn’t it grand, when someone changes your body for you?  I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did, though I kinda doubt it.”

         My mouth worked, but no sounds came out.  I couldn’t think of anything to say to that which wouldn’t get me into even more trouble.

         “Well, don’t you worry your pretty little head, sweetie.  We aren’t done just yet.  I’m going to take GOOD care of you.  Let’s go back to your place.  Now,” she said, still grinning.  I wanted to stay here and deal with this, of course.  Bringing a pissed off girl with magical devices home to do whatever she wanted to me without much chance of interruption was very much NOT what I wanted to do right now!  So why was it that I was already backing out of the parking lot while these ideas ran through my mind?  Why wasn’t I getting out of the car and running for it?  I had a sneaking hunch that whatever she had written on that notebook might be responsible.

         The drive back to my place was more or less uneventful.  My captor didn’t seem to feel the need to talk to me, and I was too terrified to speak.  My stomach was tying itself in knots with nervous, frightened tension the whole way.

At least the few stop lights we caught on the way gave me a chance to fix my make-up, though.  I couldn’t really remember where I got the compact that was in my purse, or the cherry-flavored lipstick I carefully applied in the rear-view mirror, but I certainly felt better once I had my ‘face’ on.  For some reason, she thought this was very amusing, but I did my best to ignore it.  It’s not like she didn’t wear make-up too, right?

         Finally home, I stepped out of the car, pulling down the hem of my short denim skirt and tossing my two long, blond braids back over my shoulders, leading the way up to the door at her insistence.  For some reason, I kept expecting Jamie to throw it open and come to my rescue, an interesting switch to the ‘knight in shining armor’ cliché.  Instead, I fished out my house key and opened ‘er up, leading the way back into my home.

         The girl seemed kind of amused in a vaguely detached way, looking around the place while I stood in the middle of the living room nervously, like a school girl in the principal’s office.  I wrung my hands in front of me, digging at the floor with the toe of my strappy little sandal, waiting for her to pronounce my doom.

         When she walked back into the living room and ordered me to sit on the couch, I did so without hesitation, not wanting to provoke someone that could do very bad things to me without even lifting a finger.  Her words, though, struck me to the core when she spoke next.

         “Well, James.  Not much has changed around here besides you.  I was kind of hoping you would have found yourself a nice girlfriend to live with you, but I guess that is kind of expecting too much in just a single day, huh?” she said.

         I gave her the most well-thought-out reply I could think of at the time.  “Huh?  J…Jamie?!”

         “Surprise!!” she yelled, jumping into my lap and throwing her arms around my neck.  It all came crashing back to me then.  She had done something to my mind, made me not recognize her at the boardwalk today.  It had been her changing me all along, not some victim that found the remote.  It hadn’t been…wait a second…the make-up?  The outfit changes in the car on the way over here?  Ohhhh, she was one tricky little…

         A mixture of feelings washed over me in her embrace.  The first was relief.  I wasn’t in the hands of some very angry waitress with a grudge!  There was also joy at having Jamie back with me.  She was the one girl in the entire world that knew me inside and out, better than I did.  Probably literarily.  Then came anger.  She had booby trapped me when she pretended to leave.  And turned me into THIS…this…’Trap’, as the good Admiral might call it.  How dare she!?

         Right about then, though, she started to shed clothing while straddling my lap and an awful lot of my anger got tangled up in her shirt somewhere and ended up on the floor.  Okay, so maybe I’m a soft touch when you dangle sex with my fantasy woman brought to life in front of my nose.  I’m only human, alright?!  Just red-blooded American boy…who happened to look very much like a blonde young tart at that particular moment…shut up.